My husband and I are both 33 years old and are child free by choice. We started dating in 2011 and been married 4 years and live about 15 minutes from MIL and her live in BF of 20 years. She has 2 other sons as well.
MIL is polite to me when she sees me but just treats me more like her son’s roommate than his wife/her DIL.
we been together 13 years and see each other almost once every weekend yet we haven’t developed any sort of individual personal relationship with each other.
she will acknowledge DH’s birthday with a card and $50 check and I just get a text with a meme saying, “happy birthday.”
She will call my DH or text him almost everyday but never reaches out to me. If I text her or call her she will respond in kind but in the 13 years we been together she never initiated or offered to meet up her and I for coffee or shopping or brunch. You think her having only sons she will be thrilled to have a daughter like figure in her life to do things with.
We recently became a first time aunt and uncle to his brother’s beautiful baby girl and his mother texted just him when she first found out her other DIL was pregnant saying, “congratulations you are going to be a first time uncle.” Instead of texting both of us and saying aunt and uncle. She will only text my husband pics updates of our niece. I feel like she is implying just bc I’m not a blood aunt my importance in my niece’s life isn’t as important as my husband’s. This is odd considering how long I have known MIL and how many years I been in the family.
My MIL will text my husband baby pics, funny memes, jokes etc and never include me. At times I feel like she isn’t including my spot as her son’s wife and she isn’t being very inclusive and she is shutting me out. She will also only FaceTime my husband when she is visiting our niece to see her but never me. Sometimes I feel like I’m on the outside looking in in DH’s and MIL’s texts and I would like to be included a little more.
I would like to be on the text chain.
Is it ok to ask my husband or MIL to include me in the texts of the baby and the funny memes and jokes MIL sends to DH so I could feel more included as the baby’s aunt and his wife?
I feel no reason why these texts can’t be sent to both of us all together since I’m his wife and the aunt and since the texts are mostly memes and links and pics of the baby or pics of concerts or vacation and day trips she goes on. it’s nothing deep personal I should be allowed to be included.
If you are a MIL and your DIL requested this would it bother you? Why or why not?