airbrushed from daughter and Grandkids

[nellflanders]

This Christmas like last year my Hubby and I will be on our own despite having 3 grandkids and 3 g grandkids. I don't think my grandkids have ever liked me or my husband who is step grandad, they have never bothered about us, never acknowledged birthdays and ignored us to the point of ignorance when in their company. Over the years we have hosted Christmas and other family meals but it is fair to say that we have never had a family meal that haven't either cooked or paid for.
I have always bought presents at Christmas and birthdays for them, and now buy for the g grandchildren, We have always been fairly generous giving them small amounts of cash from time to time when we have been able to afford it. We have also been extremely generous to my daughter who has had in excess of £12,000 over the last 8 years. We haven't been as close since she left her husband for a new partner now 20 years ago but since she became a gran it seems as if she has airbrushed me from her life. Although she lives close by I only see her about once a fortnight , we are never invited to spend time with family . I I find Christmas particularly upsetting as I have always enjoyed it and they were such busy happy times in the past

I feel your pain as I'm sort of in the same situation. If I were to offer advice, I would just say try and glean joy from other sources. I know they're your family and you have invested so much time, energy, love, effort and money but we are not living in the good old golden days where parents were respected and appreciated. I don't think it's too much to ask to be considered and included but they will use the excuse that they're too busy. That generation have no sense of duty or respect but one of right and entitlement. Enjoy happy days when you can with your husband and friends. They're the family that we choose for ourselves and love us unconditionally. Hope this helps.

It’s a tough one when our families choose to distance themselves. As previous pp has suggested, widen your focus elsewhere. I find that the two charities that I volunteer with provide a great deal of friendship and good company.
You can’t make your family be more thoughtful and inclusive and it is very painful to be excluded, grieve over that and then make your friendship circle stronger.

It is very difficult when this happens I think alot of us on here have similar experiences if that is any consolation .Yes I do agree it seems a current thing . And it does irk when you have been generous financially - even though you weren't buying affection, a nice family meal at Christmas does seem small return . Try to throw yourself into other things . Ask about Christmas - say just checking because if we aren't doing a family one we will book a nice hotel . Try to get as many positives out of it as you can . But yes we do understand xx