I'm looking for advice... (desperately wishing I had a mother or MIL)

[roarfeckingroarr]

About how I might meet older women who don't have their own grandkids but do have love, experience and time to share.
I posted this on MN, but thought might be better posting here...

DH and I have v little family. Both our mothers died and our fathers aren't able to play a very active role in our beautiful baby son's life due to age/health/location. I have no siblings.

I see friends with babies whose mothers are so involved and it makes me heart physically ache for my own mother. She would have loved DS so so much and no one could ever replace her, but I so wish there was a way of meeting older women who could provide guidance, love and occasional assistance (I do not mean regular free childcare) and build a loving relationship with DS. Perhaps women who would have loved to be grandparents themselves but life hasn't worked out that way.

My baby deserves more family than I can give him and I just wish I had someone to call who could share their thoughts and experience when I don't know what to do.

I would really appreciate GN's thoughts and ideally suggestions, even if it's "no one wants this, sod off you needy fool."

I'm not a gran I just clicked to see what this board was like out of curiosity, maybe look online for any local charities that help mums and families like homestart? One of my neighbours volunteers for them and she's so lovely. Or similar local Facebook groups? You could meet someone supportive and hopefully vetted it they do voluntary work for a charity? Maybe try joining some local groups with a wide age range? I know it probably depends on your local community if there are many support or social groups, everywhere's different. Where I live it's a mixture of families with children, and older people who have had their kids grow up here then fly the nest / now have their own families. I have a few neighbours in my road who are older and I can imagine would love to be part of a younger family's life, one lady lost her husband and her daughters and grandchildren live a long distance away so she only sees them every 2 months or so. Another lady is divorced and her daughter never wanted children but she says she would have loved to be a grandma. An older couple couldn't have children, they're all really friendly and interested in my daughter and I can imagine they'd enjoy being a kind of surrogate grandparent! One lady actually said that to me a few years ago! I'm sorry about the loss of your mum that must be so hard seeing others with their mums in that supportive grandparent role Not everyone has that though, you're not alone (in my own case although my mother is still alive I have barely any relationship with her as she was abusive and is still very toxic, she's done a lot of damage and I used to wish I had that typical supportive lovely mum as a grandma to my daughter, my daughter's older now so I don't think it much these days, but I still wish I had a mentally stable supportive mum for myself sometimes) I hope you meet someone