Background
My DD was born in Feb, my DH's sister had her first in December. My parents in law were overjoyed at having two grandchildren come along at once.
My SIL lives about a 40min drive away from her parents and sees them once or twice a week. They also help with baby sitting and have her overnight when her mum is out for the evening.
We live 250+ miles away, a 4-5 hour drive. I'm breastfeeding so no one even her dad has had my DD for more than a few hours without me.
The issue
Since Feb we've seen my in laws maybe about 10-12 times (I've lost count!). They make a big effort to come to us and we've gone to them twice. But whenever we speak with them on the phone and dozens of times face to face we get 'we hardly see DGD', or even 'Don't forget us!' To a 4 month old baby?! My MIL even moaned to our neighbour 'you get to see DGD so much more than us' like this was somehow unreasonable or avoidable. And they compare the contact with SILs baby to ours and we're coming up short.
We've made a big effort to make space for them in our lives, to make them welcome when they visit and travel a long way with our newborn. I want my DD to have a wonderful relationship with her DGPs but this is driving me nuts.
Before DD was born DH and I talked about how to ensure they have a relationship despite the distance. We've seen them more than he expected to but he now says he feels dissatisfied. I think this is due to the relentless pressure from them. Anyway, he is now singing the same chorus and pushing me to see them more.
Can the wonderful people in my phone help me find the kindest way to set a boundary on this?