Grandparents rights

[Badger528]

Hi

I’ve come on here to try and help my wife, as regards to what options/legal steps we can take to see our grand daughter.

her daughter (my step daughter) fell pregnant last year 2017 and through difficult complications, uncertainty of the father, refusal to finish college, we supported both emotionally and financially, which she was happy to accept. All through the pregnancy the boyfriends family were insistent on a dna test, and she was petrified to the point of being overboard that they were the best thing out there.

The baby, a beautiful girl was born on Christmas Day, and at first everything was great, they had recently moved into a flat and myself and my wife visited on numerous occasions for about 4 weeks, at which point they had a row about the gifts my wife was buying and felt they couldn’t buy anything for there child. We appreciated there point of view but felt it a bit harsh considering they had no money and also this was after we’d essentially bought all the baby furniture, a brand new silver cross pram (which she got annoyed at because the shop didn’t have the right colour so MW bought a colour change set).

From that point on we have had no contact, we tried to talk to her and eventually she blocked us and all our members of our family on social media as well as phone and messaging, we felt that over time she would come round and seek reconciliation, but after a chance meeting with the mother of the boyfriend it seemed that she had created this fantasy of us shunning her rather than the other way round.

Over the last month as our grand daughters first birthday and Christmas approached the pain not know her has been unbearable especially for my wife, and we got a few presents for the child with the hope of at least showing that we are still thinking of her.

After getting a contact number (felt it better to open dialogue, rather than just appear) we asked if it was ok to bring the presents, to which she replied that she wanted nothing to do with us and would be blocking our number again and changing hers. My wife is understandably heartbroken, as she desperately would love a relationship with her granddaughter.

I apologise for the length of the message but left it important to give some context.

Regards

I don't think grandparents have rights tbh

Grandparents don't have legal rights to see a child, especially a child they have no relationship with.

You would be better to try to repair your relationship with the mother instead of looking at legal options.

if the child's mother does not want you to have contact, then you won't get it. There really isn't any more to it than that. And rightly so.

My wife is understandably heartbroken, as she desperately would love a relationship with her granddaughter

And what about a relationship with her daughter?

Oh dear, what an awful situation. It seems strange she’d feel unable to continue the relationship with her mother and you over you buying her and her baby things. What else do you think might have caused this?

Grandparents have no rights. Your only way of having a relationship with the baby is through her parents. That’s as it should be. Painful for your wife but how could you have contact with a year old baby and not her mum and dad? I’m sure your wife is more concerned with why her daughter is so upset with her than seeing the baby so I’d focus on working on what’s happened rather than anyone’s “rights” as that sounds a bit compative and will inflame an already difficult situation.

You have no entitlement to see the child

I'm sorry to say grandparents have no legal right to see grandchildren. It must be very upsetting.

Grandparents don’t have rights to access their grandchildren.

Going down the legal route will do irreparable damage to your wife’s relationship with her daughter.

I suggest she gently try to restart contact via text/phone etc. Send cards but not presents as that has been a source of contention in the past. But ultimately take your Step daughter’s cue on this and respect her choice. You dont get to bully your way into peoples lives.

Grandparents have no legal rights unless you can establish that the gp and child have a very close relationship that has lasted for years do you stand a chance going this route of having contact with a gc, as baby isn't a year old it's not going to happen,
I'd send your daughter one text saying something like 'we will respect your wishes and will no longer try to contact you again and leave you guys to live your lives it's the last thing we want as we love you and are so proud of you and want to have you in our lives but we have accepted you don't want this but if you ever want to try and repair our relationship or need someone please know we are always here for you and babies name no matter what has happened'. And sadly you have to leave it at this no more trying to contact her I'd send birthday/ Christmas cards and maybe one gift each for daughter/gd for they birthdays/Christmas no writing messages in them either maybe send her a bunch of flowers on Mother's Day and no asking others to pass messages on or asking about her life, no talking about her or the situation to others it will only get back to her when people ask just say I would love to know how her and baby are but sadly we don't see each other any more hopefully one day that will be different, and you both just have to get on with your lives you can't force your way into someone's life but you can let them know the door is always open should they wish to reach out, maybe your daughters just a brat and knows this will hurt you guys deeply maybe you guys have done something that has deeply hurt her or you was way out of line none of us know but that isn't what's important right now the main thing is letting her know doors always open and also letting her know your lives haven't stopped just because her and babies walked out of it live your lives and hold a hope that they are happy and that they will reach out one day