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Original poster

Positive MIL-DIL stories please??

8 replies

Popskipiekin · 12/07/2016 20:21

I'm pregnant with DC2. We already have DS1 and this will be our last child. We are hugely lucky to be pregnant again and I'd love another little boy - the only niggle I have is that I have a wonderful relationship with my mum and I'm worried that mums of daughters will always be closer to their grandkids than the mothers-in-law. So currently I think I'll be a bit sad - but just for that reason - if we don't have a daughter. I also might be tempted to try for another baby which DH won't allow! (He's right, we don't have the space)

I have a great relationship with MIL and she sees a lot of DS but that's because I'm v accommodating and lovely Grin Grin I know there are no guarantees in life - grandchildren aren't a given and if we had a daughter she might go off and live on the other side of the world - but please help me put my niggles at rest before our 21 week scan. Tell me some happy stories about all you MILs that get on with your DILs and see lots of your grandchildren as I'm sure there must be some of you out there!

OP posts:
Allthebestnamesareused · 13/01/2017 18:40

Sorry - I am a mum of boys and have same concerns but my MIL is the opposite and has no interest in our kids. My parents live in the US and I'd love to have a hands on MIL. My friend has a great relationship with her MIL. Her MIL is the type that buys presents off list, has the kids in hols, lives an hour away but will still come to babysit. I suspect it is because her MIL is slso the mum of just boys and therefore does not have a daughter's family to favour.

When your boys are older bite your tongue over their choice of girlfriend as she may one day be your DIL! Welcome them, include them, be nice to them. I wish my MIL did!

Ilovecaindingle · 13/01/2017 18:46

I am a mil. I have a great relationship with dil despite her and ds not being together. I have my gs from Sunday til Tues every week.

NurseRosie · 13/01/2017 18:58

I have a great relationship with my mil. My dh even said last week that his parents like me more than they like him. We do lots together and lots as a family. We sometimes shop together and she quite often treats me (I'm spoilt). She also has the same kind of relationship with her other dil. I know I'm very lucky though.

FreshHorizons · 13/01/2017 19:04

I really wouldn't worry. A lot of my friends are now grandparents and are just as involved with their son's children as their daughters.
If you have a good relation with MIL your sons will see it as the norm.
My parents in law were brilliant - they could just come and stay while we went away and look after the children - they knew how everything ran.

fruitbats · 13/01/2017 19:11

Technically not a mil but my ds had a daughter with his girlfriend. We were quite close. DS and gf split up when DGD was 1 yr old. It didn't effect my relationship with DGD's mum. We are very close now. We have always had a very active part in dgd's life and helped out with childcare. The mum has gone on to have 2 other dc with another partner. We have also babysat for these children / they have had sleep overs at ours, and they call us grandma and grandad. not really my choice My dgd is now 14. I think we are classed as a 'blended family' whatever that is.
We are not all bad Grin

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 13/01/2017 19:13

I love my MiL. She comes to visit regularly and it's always agreed in advance. She did my laundry after I had a section. She always brings nice food!

MarklahMarklah · 13/01/2017 19:20

I'm a DIL and my MIL is wonderful! She was a huge support when my mum died, and later when my Dad died. She and FIL have always been there, never intrusive, but quietly supportive & helpful.
They have two other DILs, both with children (one lot are step g/c) but neither are that local. None of the g/c get preferential treatment - she adores them all, but they range in age from 28-6, so they have different needs and interests. She remembers everyone's birthday, is always happy to have people visit, never insists on 'her rules' when visiting, is always accommodating and the only time I've seen her stressed in the 25 years I've know her was when FIL was unwell and she was trying to organise a big family event.

When I'd had a C-Sec she prepared food and sent it round, but made no demands.

I wouldn't change her for the world.

DoloresAbernathy · 13/01/2017 19:23

I get on well with my MIL ... she talks too much but I let her off because she is so lovely Grin
I love my parents but because of distance I see more of my PIL but still only once a month because they also live about an hour away and we FaceTime in between.

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