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Gransnet

Looking for Mumsnet's sister site for grandparents? Then come on over to Gransnet.

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Original poster

New Gran

18 replies

wintersday41 · 09/02/2014 08:23

Feeling very upset at the moment, I hope you can help. My sons girl-friend gave birth to my beautiful Grandson 4 weeks ago. However, not able to have Grandson on my own until I've taken a course contacted local GP never heard of it. I brought my son up very well, who incidently was a Renal patient for many years. I am more than capable of looking after a child please help.I also just joined.

OP posts:

MadIsTheNewNormal · 09/02/2014 08:29

Are you saying your son and his girlfriend have stipulated that you take some kind of carers/parenting course until you are allowed to see your grandson unsupervised? How very odd. Is there some backstory to this?

And at only 4 weeks old I think most women would be reluctant to hand over their baby to anyone for unsupervised visits. I know I would not have done it.

PotteringAlong · 09/02/2014 08:29

My lovely, and I mean this in the nicest possible way, stop. Take a deep breath, and look at what you're saying.

Your grandson is FOUR WEEKS OLD. Four weeks. That's tiny tiny. Why should you look after him by himself at that age? What does it matter? My mum and mil are both perfectly capable of looking after my children but did they have them at 4 weeks? Hell no. My DH hasn't looked after them without me at four weeks, let alone anyone else.

It might be that your DiL is being a bit pfb about wanting you to do a paediatric first aid course first (but, frankly, if it makes her feel happier what's the issue) but she might have just done it as a way of not allowing you to take her very very tiny baby away from her because she doesn't feel she can simply say "no, I don't want you to" at this stage.

Atavistic · 09/02/2014 08:29

I don't know what you mean about a course? What has the GP got to do with it?
Are you being really pushy with the new parents? Is there any need for you to have the baby on your own yet? I think you should calm down, alot. It's not all about you.

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 09/02/2014 08:35

Chill out grandma and let the parents of the parenting, what in gods name do you need to have baby alone for ... This is their way of nicely saying to you they don't want you to have baby alone, leave it at that

PotteringAlong · 09/02/2014 08:39

Also, what does the state of your sons kidneys have to do with anything?!

Original poster

wintersday41 · 09/02/2014 08:46

Yes! unfortunately her mother was an alcoholic, her and her sister where taken into care. I am not having my Grand-son at the moment over-night . As he is only weeks old. I do work full-time and also do some holistic therapies some evenings. Only yesterday I was reminded I have not taken this course, and somone comes out to your house, and a small donation is required. My sons words are I'm cutting off my nose etc, etc. I find the whole thing so upsetting.

OP posts:

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 09/02/2014 08:49

Again, repeat, it's not not normal to have your grandchildren over night or all day at this stage or any if the parents don't rush it... Repeat!

And what's her parents health history got to do with it

Original poster

wintersday41 · 09/02/2014 08:50

I am not wanting too look after my Grandson at only 4 weeks old. Hell no this is future ref. That I take this course.

OP posts:

Cohenite · 09/02/2014 08:52

What exactly is this course wintersday? Who runs it?

I agree he is very young to be away from his parents but if the child's mother has difficulty trusting you I think, in your shoes, I would go out of my way to do whatever I could to help her deal with that.

Original poster

wintersday41 · 09/02/2014 08:57

Again repeat! I do not wish to be looking after such a young baby. I am merely asking does anyone know about this course Again repeat I phoned my local surgery to find information they have none.

OP posts:

InkleWinkle · 09/02/2014 09:00

What is the course? Have you been negative about their parenting ideas & the most up to date guidelines? Do they want you to learn what's recommended & why these days?

PotteringAlong · 09/02/2014 09:02

It could be anything - our surestart centres run courses in paediatric first aid, it could be that? Nct do something similar as do the Red Cross.

Why not just ask your son for the information?

AmIatwat · 09/02/2014 09:07

I think the parents are a bit bonkers TBH. This is way over the top. but I'd do the sodding course if it keeps them happy. As for contacting your GP, well, I think they'd pee themselves laughing at the absurdity of it all.The who baby industry has gone bonkers, turning parents in to neurotic monsters.

Original poster

wintersday41 · 09/02/2014 09:10

AmIatwat many thanks, your right.

OP posts:

PotteringAlong · 09/02/2014 09:35

With respect, wintersday you've had lots if people trying to explain to you why you're wrong who you've completely disregarded and latched onto the one person who agrees with you.

You cannot just look to justify your own opinion and completely disregard the other point of view, especially when your DS holds that other point of view.

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 09/02/2014 09:42

You could come with all sorts of odd traits that a percent wouldn't condone whilst looking after a child, no one needs a course to look after a child, but we don't know you, you could be a chain smoking, beer swilling, drug taking, chip pan fire making, give a baby a bottle of weetabix style granny for all we know, so god them to want you to do a course in something (most likely first aid for infants) then there must be a reason... Hmmm

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 09/02/2014 09:46

Plus if you work full time and some evenings too, why do you insist on creating an issue? It's not like you have the time is it...

Bebe47 · 06/03/2014 06:34

Step back - you don't need to look after baby on your own do you? Just visit or have them visit you - it's early days - leave them alone. They will soon come to you later on when they want a babysitter - course or no course - but do the course they recommend and be done with it. I have brought up four healthy sons with very different traits and needs but "what do I know"?? - it's all different now they tell me - you can't do this, that and the other - just go with the flow - you should knows bout that if you do holistic therapies.

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