My DD is my eldest child and I lover her very much and am very proud of her.
She is everything that I am not. Confident,sociable,outgoing,a brilliant mum and has many friends, She is compassionate to people who are in a bad place and will wades in and stick up for anyone she feels is being unfairly treated. She loves entertaining and never seems to get down about anything.She always looks nice and keeps herself in good shape.
On the other hand I have no self confidence. I have a few good friends but the thought of having anyone in my house for a meal or party fills me with dread. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for a long time but with the help of AD's and a good doctor I quite enjoy my life, or at least I can appear to.
I had a very close relationship with my late mother who was my rock during two disastrous marriages. I suppose I hoped that my DD and I would be that close but although I see her and her DC's once a week I always feel I can't be myself with her or she will judge me. She is quite free with her opinions and although not rude, speaks to me in a way I would not have spoken to my mother. It seems to me that she treats me as an elderly lady she has known since childhood or a lame duck.
I know most of this is my fault but how can I make our relationship more intimate. I made the mistake of telling her all my history and that adds to her feeling of superiority.
Once again I must stress how much I love her and how proud she makes me feel, but if she wasn't my DD she wouldn't be the kind of woman I would choose as a friend. Advice please.