My ex-P and I split 1 year ago and we are amicable now. I am single mother of two small toddlers. Even before the split, relations with my MIL were strained for numerous reasons but we have always remained and will continue to cordial. Prior to the split, we saw MIL very occasionally. She freely admits she has never been 'maternal'. For various reasons and due to hostility and resentment from her toxic husband, we don't go to see her but I have always invited her to come round to ours or meet at a mutual location. I have even given her a key to my home, she can pop round anytime, she doesn't even have to phone. [I'm like that with my family]. She drives, is mobile, in better health and is in her 60s.
I live just 8 miles from my MIL and we have only seen her ONCE (at my invitation for my DD birthday) for the entire year. We got a postcard from her recently from her holiday abroad - just a quick snippet saying hello to us. Other than that, we get no phonecalls, visits and zero support. My last conversation with my MIL, where I called for moral support, asking her to try and help mediate between her son and I (her son was neglectful, abusive, alcoholic and could not maintain a job) on the phone resulted in her telling me she couldn't cope with the issues between her son and I, she'd rather not know, she can't help and that was that.
About me: I'm not a very needy person, I'm self sufficient, I have a great paying job that pays for an inhouse nanny, I don't ask anything off her son aside from maintenance what's due to the kids.
Now I'm the first to admit, it may have been out of my place to call her up for support but we're talking about the welfare of her grandkids. I've had overwhelming support from my family, with various members visiting (they live 2 hours away) on a monthly basis, staying over, looking after the kids and just being there. It's a lovely family relationship which I cherish,privileged to have and I because it was never offered nor realised with my ex's family, it's something I found really difficult to come to terms with.
My ex maintains very little contact with his parents. Partly because he doesn't feel the need, and partly because - and I understand this- we feel 'what's the point'?
There is a real potential I could move abroad due to a job promotion and at the rate this is going, I can't even be bothered to even let my MIL know about it.
I guess from my point of view, when I am a nan, and I was living a few miles down the road, I'd want to see them as much as possible.
I'm hoping you can provide me a different view point because at this rate, I have no intention to maintain contact when I move abroad nor even letting her know we are packing up and going.
Thanks for reading.