What should my DS call my stepdad?

[pmgkt]

My parents divorced when I was 22 and had left home, and both have since remarried but because of my age, I dont think of them as my step parents more my parents husband/wife. They did remarry before my son was born, who is now 22 months. I initally felt it was right to just call my parents a variation of gran/dad and call their partners by their name, but my mums husband makes a huge effort with my ds, and takes an interest in what he is doing (in many ways more than my dad). I am looking for options to call him, which can be endearing but not taking away from his actual grandparents on either my side or my husbands.

Has anyone got any ideas or names they have heard of or used that could be options.

I had the same problem but my stepdad is more involved then my actual dad. My son is 2 and calls my dad grandad and my stepdad 'gan gan'

My son just called him it one day and it stuck

My DD calls her step grand parents Nonna and Pop, they dote on her and I'm grateful to have such loving people in my family. Apparently Nonna is italian, maybe a foreign version of granddad?

We go for Grandad Jim or Granny Jane or something like that for the step parents. Bio grandparents granny, grandad, nanny...in fact one of the bio grandparents took a liking to the names and now calls herself granny joyce.

I would ask; my stepmum prefers 'nanna', and my mum 'granny', so it was easy enough. DP's dad's GF just wanted to be called by her name, thank you very much

Seriously, ask. He'll be really pleased if you explain why.

thanks for suggestions, we have asked him and he likes the idea of having a special name but we dont really have many ideas. i really want to stear away from any reference to grandad as my dad is very sensitive and I think that it would upset him, plus I really dont want to call his wife by a special name, she has only seen him twice since he was born as she doesnt come over (they live in mainland europe) when my dad comes over and isnt welcoming when we go over.

My DC call the by their first names, but that was the choice of the stepGPs. I would ask them what they'd prefer.

If grandad is taken the maybe use 'grandpa name'

Hi,

My stepparents and real parents ALL call themselves gran/granny/grandma or grandad/grandpa when they talk to DS.

But we call them Granny Jane, Grandpa Andrew and so on (not their real names, btw) when we talk about them. Just so DS knows which ones we are referring to!

I was a bit concerned that my dad's partner who is my age would not want to be called granny but she was horrified at that idea and calls herself granny with pride. Her affection for my child has really enhanced our relationship although I was an adult when she met my dad, so like you, she was never my stepmum as such.

I might call your dad grandad and your stepdad "Grandpa X". If you think your dad would be too sensitive, some versions my friends in this same situation include:

Papa
Poppa
Super X
Grampy
Ga-ga
Jim-Jim (where his name is Jim)

...or you can leave it till your DC discover their own name for him. I never called one of my grandfathers by his name - I found my own nonsense name that fitted him perfectly and he was called that by everyone forevermore!

My real parents get called Grandad and Nanny. The step parents (who are both reasonably involved with the kids) get called Nanny Mary and Grandad Trouble, so there is a distinction, and we all know who we are talking about.

They were both terrible step parents but are both doing much better with their step grand children.

I would go with grandad ..(his name).. Your own father may not like it much but its not as if he is making any special effort with your DS. I would ask your dad
'do you mind if DS calls .... grandad....name....?'

Hopefully your asking your father's permission would take any sting out of it for him as you could also explain that he was his proper grandad.

Alternatively you could just apologise to your father and just lie and say DS has taken to calling your stepdad grandad.......name... without any prompting from you and you were unable to stop him!

I call my step grandad grandad but for some reason I find it really odd them calling my stepmum grandma, nanna is a bit better but maybe it's because we don't always get on. Also dp's stepmum is our age so doesn't seem right as grandma so they just (because we do) use their first names.

How about Stepladder?

My son calls my stepdad grandad K... and my dad's partner nanny L... although sometimes he drops the first names, and neither my mum or dad get upset about it. (they don't speak, but appreciate my son thinks of them as grandparents)

HTH

My little boy has three sets of gp's due to my parents being divorced and remarried.

They all got a "proper" name Nanny, Nana, Granny and 3 x Grandad's. They were all pleased with this but I didn't even think to ask. Suppose I grew up with the Dad and SM's name....Mum and SD's name...didn't feel the need to differentiate with DS when ultimately they'll all love him the same and have the same role in his life.

However, what I would say is already (DS) is only 13 months my DH's Dad has become "Chooch" (song FIL always sings) and my Dad has become Grandad Tick Tock (got a clock with a pendulum that DS loves). I guess what I'm saying is don't worry about it now, variations will soon come up that you hadn't even considered! Would your Dad even know what you're calling your stepdad at this point? From your thread I'm guessing there aren't many family picnics at this point...

My stepmother is grandma same as the other 2 grandmas. We differentiate with names, e.g. grandma Sue etc but not to their faces, I figure my son will sort it out himself as he gets older.

We asked all of them what they wanted to be & they all came back with grandma & there was no shifting any of them!

I think I'd just call him Grandad (name) or Grandpa (name) - I think the 'step' distinction should be lost on the next generation.

The step granddads in our family are Pops and Grandpa Tony, but my dad's name which started as Grampy, has been Bampy since the eldest grandchild could speak. As PP said, it will evolve.

My dgd calls step gd Poppa