How to solve problem of GCs wanting different things

[Treblesallround]

Our 2 grandchildren have lived with us for the last 10 years (son's children). Gd now wants to go and live with her mum. She's nearly 13 so probably old enough to decide and although there are still some issues about her mum's ability to care for her it would probably be just about ok so I think we'll have to let her.

The problem is her brother (nearly 12) doesn't want to go and live with his mother as she treats him very differently, but he doesn't want to be seperated from his sister. I really feel for him, he's between a rock and a hard place. What are we going to do?

Could your GD be persuaded to wait a bit so that she can stay with her brother? I imagine it would be best to keep the two of them together if possible for some consistency and mutual support.
If the mother is only 'just about' able to cope and care for them, maybe it would be better to wait a bit longer anyway.
Maybe if some more time passes, your GS will feel more able to choose where he wants to be even if his sister goes to their mum's.

Thanks Ruthcan, we'd love her to stay, and I'm hoping that because we've not said that she can't she might just be satisfied with the thought that she can if she wants to. Time to sit tight, I think

What a tricky one! I hope she chooses to stay with you, sounds like she'd be better off.

That's awful that the mother treats her son differently