My PIL's have not been in contact with their DGD since their DS had an affair - left.

[Wisedupwoman]

What do you think? Why should otherwise kind, generous, loving and decent people just not make a single attempt to contact their DGD?
What should I do? It's been almost 4 months since I discovered their DS's second affair and have divorced him with no contact between us since he went. Not even sure they know. They, if I knew them at all, would be very upset indeed. They live 250 miles away, but are in regular contact with their son.

I would suspect that they are ashamed of their son's behaviour and desperate to see or remain in contact with their DGD but feel that they can't because of what he's done.
If you're happy for them to stay in contact, why don't you call them? You can tell them discussion about your marriage is off limits if you want. Their son had an affair and not them. if you and your DD want to stay in contact with them I see no reason why you shouldn't.

Thank you bagel. I'm happy for them to stay in contact but I really don't know if they know we've separated, never mind are already divorced!

XH told so many lies you see. And if they know it's likely he won't have told them the truth - he's their DS through and through. So I've no idea what sort of response I'd get if I phoned. I've written loads of letters which I don't post as well.

It's tricky. I need to give it more thought and weigh up the pros and cons. Part of me thinks I should just let it go.

How old us your dd? Can she not call them?

I think you should call them for your dd's sake.
Hopefully they will be happy to continue having a relationship with their granddaughter despite thier son's affairs.

Call them. Or write to them if it's easier for you.
They definitely know something's up if they haven't been in contact. They probably feel desperate to be in contact but unable to because of their sons actions.
The longer you leave it the harder it will be, but family is important and they are your DD's family. And good GPs from what you say. (you may need their help in the future too )
Hope it goes well.

My DD is 16. She refuses to contact them because they haven't contacted her, plus she is furious with her D because of how he treated both of us in the last couple of years.

TBH they're both pretty elderly now and not in good health, so it's not for help but more because DD has lost a whole set of relationships in one go. I guess the reason I have withheld contacting them myself is that I'm not entirely sure of my own motives. We weren't close especially but they were always good to me, and their GC's have been important to them.

Thanks for your suggestions. Maybe the thing to do is wait until the dust really has settled and then write them a letter. (it has only been 4 months and there's still alot of uncertainty about the future financially and so on - we were together 20 years so there's alot of unravelling still to do).