Am I expecting too much from Grandparents?

[wintersnow]

I gave birth to DS3 just over a week ago My MIL & her husband live 3 hours away and although promised they would come & see us as soon as he was born they haven't even set a date. They go out every w/e and get very drunk so do not want to forfeit this in order to meet DS3. FIL & his wife live 2 hrs away and we have seen them once in a year, they planned to come and meet DS3 today but have phoned and cancelled and made no further plans. Sister in law hasn't even called or texted DH to say congratulations and was staying with a friend 10 mins from us this w/e and didn't call in to see us or let us know they were nearby. My mum lives 10 mins away, is fairly young and doesn't work and has been to see us once. I wouldn't mind so much but I have a broken foot, DH has been really ill & DD is on school holidays so it has been very hectic here. Am I expecting too much from our family?

Firstly, Congratulations!

It's a tricky one.

'Expecting' is probably a bit too much, because lots of grandparents don't really get involved massively in their grandchildren's/grown up children's lives. Their choice, I guess.

Personally, I do think it is odd. I find it really sad that some older people show very little interest in their grandchildren.

But you can't 'expect'. You just have to get on with it. Have you got neighbours or friends who can help out while your foot is bad?

How were they with the other children?
Some mum's aren't really cut out to be mums. Or grannies come to that. Sad but true.

Wintersnow, it is a shame that they are missing out on sharing this lovely time with you, and your husband must feel quite let down.

Maybe they just don't know of any other way to be. Why don't you try an experiment: ring them once a month with updates, just for a quick chat, and see if you can make them more aware of your existence and what they could be taking part in.

You'd need to be sure you wanted their involvement, as sometimes it's not helpful. But your children might like to see them.

Don't be sad. Enjoy your little baby and your family.

This makes me so sad. I would give my eye teeth to be able to be a part of my granddaughter's life in the way you would like your child's grandparents to be involved. Son's ex-p is doing her damndest to make this hard.

Good luck to you, OP - I hope your children's Grandparents soon realise that love and life doesn't lie at the bottom of a bottle. You sound like a great mum and lovley, lovely person. Enjoy your children and use this present situation as a learning about how not to do it for the day when you are grandma.