Am I being unreasonable?

[smallisland]

My family of 4 live overseas (short haul). My MIL and SIL (who does not have children) are putting pressure on myself and my DH to put my DD's aged 3 and 5 years on a plane on their own to visit their Grandmother in the UK.

The flight is only an hour but there are often delays and problems with flights from where we live. The main point is that I think that they are far to young to travel alone, plus they are afraid of flying something that my in-law family is aware of. I know that some people would put their small children on a flight alone with a chaperone (a complete stranger!) but I simply don't want to and I find it upsetting that they are suggesting it.

My MIL has implied that she thinks that I am controlling and trying to stop her seeing them because I will not let them travel alone. I have travelled with them and brought them to visit her while I go and stay with friends or my family so that they can have special time together with them but I think she sees this as giving me a break, something she perhaps doesn't really want to do.

I appreciate that my MIL just wants to see her Grandchildren, she is very involved with her other Grandchildren on a daily basis. We do make sure that the children see their Grandparents at least every 3 months, we have been on holiday with them and are spending all of this Christmas with them. We Skype every week and I try to send weekly updates, photos and films so that they can see what the children are up to.

Am I being unreasonable? What is a good age to let children travel alone?

I would appreciate any thoughts from parents and grandparents. :)

I'm not sure children are allowed to fly on their own anymore (do chaperones still exist?) - I wanted my 13 year old nephew (6ft tall!) to come and stay and he wasn't 'allowed' to fly unaccompanied - think that was Ryanair.

3 & 5 sound far too young to fly on their own(and I am pretty laissez faire) - just say 'no' - your inlaws/parents do not have the right to tell you how to bring up your children. It sounds as though she is seeing plenty of your children anyway. What does your DH think?

I think they are too young.

Mine lived abroad- she flew in- I handed them over at airport and she got on the same plane back with them. They let me go airside to wait with them. She literally got off- I had checked in children etc and had them at the gate- she came through- met me and straight back on.

She paid for it all- booked as one trip. Coming back I either went across for a few days or she came back with them for a few days but we could ahve done the same handover.

No. They are far too young. And tbh I would not feel comfortable sending them unaccompanied to the care of a woman who thinks this is in any way acceptable. If she wants them to visit either you take them or she comes and gets them herself.

My SIL (who has no children) has friends who put their DD 2years old on a flight on their own with a chaperone! I think that she is encouraging my MIL that it is acceptable for my children to fly alone but I feel that my MIL should know better. I don't think she would have let her children do this when they were small.

My DH also thinks that there is no way they should fly alone.

I am pleased to hear that a 13yr old could not fly alone. I would have thought that that would be the sort of age you could start considering it.

I am reassured to hear that I am not alone thinking that it is way too young to let children travel alone!

YANBU

Its a bonkers idea IMO.

I wouldn't put kids that young on a flight alone.
I wouldn't put a much older kid who was afraid of flying on a flight alone.

not a bloody chance - what planet are they on

(wanders away shaking head)

Thanks everyone, your responses are very reassuring.

I just can't believe that they are even suggesting it!

Just saw this and am a bit shocked. Of course they are far too young to fly alone. Possibly by about 13 some kids would be ready to fly along, but def. not at 3 and 5.

Sounds like you are working very hard to make sure your kids see their grandparents, hope this doesn't put you off continuing to do so.

alone, not along

sorry.

It's madness. Tell them "no". Absolutely "NO"!!

They sound selfish to me.

No way. Absolutely not. In a severe emergency like illness or civil unrest but NO WAY just now. Please don't feel pushed into it by anyone.

When you can say hand on heart that you are happy to let the children fly on their own, then fine - but I'm thinking that's a long way off.