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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

G&T 6 yr old

11 replies

MrsMaximoo · 29/03/2010 22:41

This is my 1st post so here goes..........from about the age of 2, my son appears to have what we thought was a photgraphic memory. From being 2 1/2 he memorised car reg plates & mobile phone numbers.
We've been asking for ages for him to be assesed as we felt the school could do more for him. We are certainly not pushy parents, I simply want whats best for my son. Friends realised how advanced he appeared to be compared to his peers which made me think seriously.
The school informed me tonight at his parents evening that he's on the G&T register. Why were we not told sooner?!! Any way, what's the next step for him? Does the school have a responsibility to provide assistance in the classroom?
I've just found out tonight that he did SATs with the next school year and achieved top marks out of the class!

OP posts:
rainbowinthesky · 30/03/2010 07:36

My db could do that at 2 and has aspergers. What else does he do that makes him seem bright?

cory · 30/03/2010 08:15

When you say you want him to be assisted in the classroom, do you feel he is struggling at the moment? Because achieving best marks in the class is not in itself a sign that what you are getting is not good enough. Some gifted children do need extra support, others don't. So I would start with thinking over his individual situation:

Is he getting bored? Don't assume that because he is gifted he must be getting bored- look at him as an individual.

Are there any signs that he is struggling socially? Again, this doesn't have to follow from being gifted, but some gifted children do.

Has he got enough stimulating interests out of school?

Is he equally gifted in all areas? Some children have photographic memories but are only average on reasoning power, others are gifted across the board.

choccyp1g · 30/03/2010 14:18

achieving best marks in the class is not in itself a sign that what you are getting is not good enough

maybe not, but achieving full marks for every thing implies that he is not being challenged.

MrsMaximoo · 30/03/2010 15:43

Thank you all for your comments, I appreciate them.
I only wondered if the LEA made provisions for G&T children as they do for under achievers. They set him extra homework which comes from the teaching assistant (who will no longer be funded in the next school year). My concern is that his mind wonders in class as his brain seems "too busy" thinking about what 3456x267= or working out how old someone was when they died if they were born in 1876 and died in 1934. He questions things like any other child however often I struggle to answer him.
He has many extra cirricular activities. Loves football and fencing and plays happily with his friends and his 2 year old sister. He is the same as all his peers in that respect. He is a very good runner and swimmer.
His dad is a muscian and he loves 100's of bands, very eclectic taste! For years he's been able to tell you the band members and what track is playing on a cd.
We are happy with his situation currently however I'm unsure if he will get stretched enough over his next few years at school and wondered if there was a cirriculum advisor or somebody that I could speak to that might help. I don't want to sound like a ranting, bragging or paranoid mother, just simply someone to help me monitor him a little to make sure that we are helping him too.

OP posts:
amidaiwish · 30/03/2010 15:52

my DD is 6 and on the G&T programme at her school, don't expect too much ime. she certainly isn't able to do the sums you mention above but was reading at 3 and can read/spell seemingly anything.

if you have a small private pre-prep near you i would go and talk to them. they might be v interested in having him, scholarship at secondary etc... always a good selling point for any school to prospective parents!
you won't get extra support for him in a state school.

zenlikecalm · 30/03/2010 22:19

My dcs age 9 and 7 have actually had some extra support in a state school. But I agree it is often down to luck, and parents engaging with the school. We have had to ask for some of it, and help ourselves with some, for example I have provided some books for them to bring in to read when the library got a bit thin on their interests (I had lots of my own old ones suitable already). But I think we are lucky with their teachers, they have noticed and try hard. I used to see school as a social outlet but they are working them pretty hard academically too, exciting them at times, and valuing their contribution to the classes.

cory · 30/03/2010 22:43

It's never going to be entirely a matter for the school- the parents still have a major role to play (no difference with children with SN tbh, you are still only going to have a small part of their needs met by the school)- but a good school can make a huge difference.

rabbitstew · 01/04/2010 21:41

There is no "right" way to treat or educate a gifted child. If you like the school, your son is happy, and the school is happy that he is achieving well and not getting bored, subdued or disruptive, then that's just fine. If the situation changes and he starts to get bored, or starts being criticised for, eg, not paying attention, then do something. This doesn't sound to be the case for you at the moment, so it's probably enough to ask to be kept informed and to be given any advice on what you could be doing at home to help support his work at school.

In terms of what the school may already be doing, in my ds1's (state) school, the children identified as gifted in maths or reading do get an extra hour a week in each subject, doing more challenging work which I believe they can then build on within the normal classroom environment if they have the ability to work independently (ie get on with it...). If this is not sufficient or doesn't seem to be working, then they may give some one-to-one time wherever possible. My ds1 gets a couple of hours a week of one-to-one tuition (most weeks) and comes home ever so happy, talking about the fun things he's done. We have not pushed for any of this, the school has provided it of its own choice because they appear to know my ds very well and have been very responsive and sensitive to his needs, which is fortunate, because he is the sort of child who would seriously underachieve if not given extra support. He also loves his time in the normal classroom, albeit he is rather quiet (which is what pushed them to provide extra help, as they could see he wasn't doing what he was capable of) - everything goes in, and there is so much more to learn at primary school than reading, writing and arithmetic!

If your ds does start to have problems in class, then his giftedness may be considered by the school to be a special need for which extra classroom support is required. The state sector is not devoid of the ability to deal with gifted children, although what extra support you get will depend on the level of motivation of the school and individual teachers, parental support and the caseload of any outside experts that may be called in to give advice on how to challenge an unusual child that is seen to be exceptionally bright but for some reason under-achieving in the school environment.

Certain members of both my and my husband's family have been hothoused in the past - eg moved into the private sector and put into a class of children several years older than them. In one case, this appeared to work (except that said child was expected to play sport with older children, too, despite being utterly unathletic), but in the other cases it resulted in one life blighted by low self esteem and alcoholism and in the other, by a long-term anger at his mother for sending him to a school miles from home, surrounded by older children who teased or bullied him and which deprived him of friendships with children near his own home and of his own age. He was successful academically and in his career, but still has a massive downer on his own mother!!! She forgot that a child needs help developing his social skills and self-confidence just as much as his academic abilities. Plenty of gifted children don't actually achieve much in later life as a result of this failure to recognise that pushing them hard in one area of their development may have an unintended and undesirable effect on other areas of their development.

So, I would say, don't assume your ds is bored or underachieving, or being let down in some way by not being sufficiently challenged. Act on the basis of his actual behaviour, and if he seems well adjusted and generally happy, then don't rock the boat too much for now!!

taffetacat · 01/04/2010 22:07

great post rabbitstew

Plink · 04/04/2010 22:01

Couldn't agree more rabbitstew

amidaiwish · 06/04/2010 14:52

yes rabbitstew says it all really, though the G&T support at her school seems (wonderful but) extraordinary.

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