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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Original poster

Do you tell people your child is considered G&T?

104 replies

Northernlurker · 02/06/2009 10:57

Becauyse dh and I don't. We are very proud of dd1 of course and try to encourage her as much as we can without being pushy. All our daughters are amazing - we don't need the G&T label to know that! I just don't feel the need to tell people - and I couldn't in any case find the words to do so without sounding boastful!

Part of me thinks that maybe I should be more publicly effusive about it though - what do others do?

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 02/06/2009 16:14

I probaly wouldn't. But anyway I don't know whether she is or not. Her teacher tells me she is outstanding and she was chosen to go to a Shakespeare workshop arranged by the G&T co-ordinator. But we haven't been informed officially whether she is or not. So I will have to content myself with telling people that she is f*ing brilliant instead

pagwatch · 02/06/2009 16:15

Dumbledoresgirl
I understand where you are coming from but to be truthful if anyone tells me that a child is G&T and has SN I will assume aspergers. My son has ASD so maybe that is why this would be my first thought but I suspect I am not alone.

I would not be offended by G&T being described as SN because my son is in a special school and is therefore not fighting for attention/resources/support at a mainstream school.
I imagine ( although I can only speculate of course ) that parents of children with SN at the LD/ASD end of the SN spectrum would not wish to be reminded that children who are gifted and able to access the ciriculem are being given resources when their children who often cannot arn't.
IYSWIM.

Just trying to reflect why this SN issue might be better expressed....I am not taking issue with the fact that G&T children may well benefit from extra attention/support.

I doubt that makes sense - but as you are apparently so old perhaps your wisdom will see through my fluff and nonsense

Dumbledoresgirl · 02/06/2009 16:46

Pagwatch at the old comment. I don't know. I have spent too long in the garden today and now feel too hot and flustered to think straight. But I was thinking about it earlier and it all made crystal clear sense to me then! My thoughts were somewhere along the line of, if a parent can proudly stand up and say "my child has aspergers" why can't I proudly stand up and say "my child is brilliant at Maths". We should embrace our children (metaphorically speaking) no matter what their conditions/traits/skills etc.

And as for provision for all children under the state system, well personally I am in favour of grammar schools, although I would not want secondary moderns seen as the duff option. There have been advances in the education of children with SN, so why not try to address the needs of the academically gifted too?

Now back to courgettes. Mine are tiny plants, one only has 3 leaves - have I left it too late? And as for having 5 plants, I did plant 6 seeds but one did not germinate (and none of my 5 runner beans did). Do not imagine I know more than anyone else re the number of plants needed to get a decent crop. I do have a family of 6 to feed but it is likely I will either get 3 fruits in total or will have 20 ripening every day and have to bottle the extra.

GeneHunt · 02/06/2009 17:12

I completely agree with your first paragraph.

As for the courgettes, last year mine were hugely prolific but looked very pathetic when I first planted them. Lots of water is the key, sod the expense!

Dumbledoresgirl · 02/06/2009 17:15

You water them with mineral water?

Or are you on metered water?

GeneHunt · 02/06/2009 17:23

Metered water.

lljkk · 02/06/2009 17:25

Right after DD went on the G&T register I gushed at a friend about it. She is a teacher, and she must have prompted my comments by asking how DC were doing at school, or similar.
Other than that, and DH, I don't think I've told a soul IRL -- I think DH might have told his mum(?).

I guess I don't talk about it because it wouldn't mean anything, knowing for myself filled in a gap, though. I thought DD belonged on the register, once it was made official that she was on it, an anomaly was removed and it didn't matter much to me any more.

Another DC is on G&T register; but if I asked DC I don't think they could accurately guess who else in their year groups is.

I guess if DC were truly gifted in old-fashioned sense, doing fantastic things not just well-above average, then I would be more vocal about it.

Dumbledoresgirl · 02/06/2009 17:27

Do you water them every day regardless of the weather or only on hot days like today?

Cadmum · 02/06/2009 17:29

Not a chance in the world. I don't like hearing about it either unless it comes from a very close friend/relative.

Wouldn't even mention it on MN actually but I suppose that I am weird that way.

Dumbledoresgirl · 02/06/2009 17:29

And what about feeding? Mine went into rather poor looking soil but it was all I had. Should I feed them a liquid feed? Perhaps I need to start a new thread in the appropriate section

Hassled · 02/06/2009 17:30

On the subject of G&T and SN - DS2 is G&T for literacy, and quite severely Dyspraxic. He uses a laptop - has learnt how to touch-type. And yes, he does have "Aspergic tendencies" but his ability with creative writing doesn't (to me) signify a link between the G&T and the SN. He just happens to be good at it.

And no, I don't mention it - I've never got my head around any way to say it without sounding like boasting. I did tell his old teacher, because she was enormously supportive in the past, and she now refers to him as "O Gifted One" .

As to the courgettes - my prediction is you will be inundated. You will be sick of the sight of them. What you need to do is deep-fry the flowers in tempura batter so it doesn't get to that stage.

scattyspice · 02/06/2009 17:59

You shouldn't feel embarrassed to mention that your child is in the top set any more than I am embarrassed that mine is in the 'slow learners'. They are what they are. However some people may judge you as some people may judge me (they may think that he is struggling because I haven't spent enough time with him or stimulated him). I guess you just have to put up with it.

pagwatch · 02/06/2009 18:24

I have a severely SN child, a very gifted child and an average child. I boast about all of them and I am very rude about all of them - depends on who I am with

Dumblesdoregirl. Sorry MP said you knew all about teaching in the 80's...

Hassled · 02/06/2009 18:51

Pagwatch - you're not being crap at all. Just thought-provoking.

My DS3 has Verbal Dyspraxia - so I have one who can't catch a ball or dress himself, but speaks like one of the last great orators, and one who is the most physically co-ordinated child I've ever seen, but who is often unintelligible (although huge progress). We (parents of Verbally Dyspraxic children) seem to be a rare breed - nice to meet another one .

Dumbledoresgirl · 02/06/2009 19:24

Pag - I didn't say education for SN was sorted. I said it was improved (which, in my professional opinion, it has). I am sure a lot of parents will say it has not gone as far as it can and I agree with that.

Yes, my terminology was wrong. I know a lot of parents are very far from able to stand up and be proud of their child's SN. I meant though that these issues are treated with respect by some of society and nearly all professionals whereas if you tell a teacher your child is gifted at something, there is a tendency to assume you are up yourself or a pushy parent or something else. I suppose a parent of a SN child often has a diagnosis they can quote when meeting a new teacher whereas those of us with gifted (god I hate that term! - can I say academically able instead?) children do not.

ingles2 · 02/06/2009 20:51

back to the courgettes...
just water them a couple of times a week DG but they like a decent soaking
you can feed them but I'd wait until closer to flowering it's really not needed though, they will grow in just about anything.
3 leaves are fine, mine are only 6-8, they put on loads of growth really quickly.
Top tip though... when you get your glut, don't bother with courgette chutney.... it's bloody horrible!

Dumbledoresgirl · 02/06/2009 20:53

Thanks for that ingles. There is now a dedicated courgette thread in gardening if you would like to contribute!

ingles2 · 02/06/2009 20:55
Grin
lijaco · 02/06/2009 21:42

course they do!

lou031205 · 02/06/2009 22:21

The fact is, DG, that state schools have a finite budget allocated for SN. Only children with a low incidence statement attract additional funding. This means that your G&T child and a child with more traditional SNs would be competing for finite funds.

The state system is such that standards are set for attainment. School education is designed at a base level to try and bring all children to that standard. There will be those that excel, and those who need additional support to come even close.

I would have been G&T if it had existed at school. Was it frustrating simply being offered 'more' maths when I asked for harder maths? Yep.

DD1 has SN. I hope she will get a full statement (she requires full 1:1 at preschool) for school. Would I fight tooth and nail to ensure that her needs are met before a child who was G&T is allocated funds? You betcha.

lou031205 · 02/06/2009 22:25

In answer to the OP - delight in your daughter. If part of that is acknowledging that she is excelling in certain subjects, then do. But just don't let her think that that is all that is important about her. (I speak as one who got so fed up with the expectation of others as to my 'brilliance', that I almost bombed my A-levels and nearly didn't go to Uni, etc.)

TheFallenMadonna · 02/06/2009 22:33

I say DS is good at maths. I say his handwriting is so bad as to be undecipherable.

I don't say he is 'G&T' because it is a meaningless phrase, and largely misused. It is gifted and/or talented. They describe different things. Describing a child as G&T is just being greedy...

PaulaYatesBiggestFan · 02/06/2009 22:52

i dont believe g and t should exist at primary level

top 5% of cohort is too broad a band

Original poster
Northernlurker · 02/06/2009 22:55

Lou 'delight in your daughter' - what a telling phrase! I suppose that's what is at the bottom of my unease - I want to do that - publicly as well as within the family but I know to do so risks disapproval from others and indeed doesn't benefit anybody other than us anyway so a policy of diplomatic understatement will remain the party line! But I'll delight on the inside

We are trying very much not to push and to not let her be defined by these scholastic achievements. I really want her to do things she enjoys and that enrich her - not just do them because she is better than other people at them. She has clarinet lessons and could have done her Grade 2 this term but felt she had a lot of other things on so we let her make her own decision what to do.

Thanks to all for the interesting thread - I now know a lot more than maybe I needed to about courgettes!

OP posts:
snorkle · 03/06/2009 08:37

NL, yes - delight in your daughter - great stuff! Don't forget you can brag about her here too - you could tell us more about her summer camp.

TFM - I really don't like the 'dc is good at this but hopeless at that' line at all. It's something British people (including me) do all the time - almost as an apology for being good at something. You'd never get Americans doing it though. I think, if we are going to mention it at all, we need to learn to be able to say we are good at something and be proud of it not apologetic.