Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Do you tell people your child is considered G&T?

104 replies

Northernlurker · 02/06/2009 10:57

Becauyse dh and I don't. We are very proud of dd1 of course and try to encourage her as much as we can without being pushy. All our daughters are amazing - we don't need the G&T label to know that! I just don't feel the need to tell people - and I couldn't in any case find the words to do so without sounding boastful!

Part of me thinks that maybe I should be more publicly effusive about it though - what do others do?

OP posts:

morningpaper · 02/06/2009 11:50

But DG the phrase "special needs" is used for children who struggle to meet or will never meet "normal" milestones.

To say that G&T children are "special needs" is considered very offensive by a lot of people. There is just no need to use that term when there are lots of perfectly other terms to use.

Dumbledoresgirl · 02/06/2009 11:53

Not orginally it wasn't. When I was training to be a teacher in the 1980s, special needs meant any need outside the norm.

morningpaper · 02/06/2009 11:55

yes well that was when "gay" meant jolly

Dumbledoresgirl · 02/06/2009 11:56

But I am sorry to offend people. I hate being offended by people who scoff at G&T kids, so of course I have no wish to offend any parents of children with any condition.

But the original 1 in 5 children with SN originally referred to any child outside the norm. I take your point though that over time the term has changed to mean children who will not achieve or need extra support achieving milestones.

Dumbledoresgirl · 02/06/2009 11:56

Jeez thanks for that! I am not that old!

morningpaper · 02/06/2009 11:58

Dumbledoresgirl · 02/06/2009 11:59

Although I do remember those happy sunlit days when gay meant happy...... but not when I was a teacher!!!

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 02/06/2009 12:00

When ds was in reception he was placed on the SN register as the teacher had to do more work for him. I tend to not tell anyone, he comes across as being very intelligent when he talks to people though.

ingles2 · 02/06/2009 12:02

well our school still considers G&T SN! Personally I don't.
Ds1 is yr 4 expected to get a high 5 in his maths SATs
Ds2 is yr 3 and in his practice SATs paper managed to get 0/30, he'll be lucky to scrape a 2.
He does have SN and I've got no qualms about discussing it with my friends, so why would I be concerned about saying how well ds1 is doing?
or is it only ok to talk about your child if they are failing?

Dumbledoresgirl · 02/06/2009 12:11

Actually MP, I went away to put some washing on the line and was thinking about what you said and got really riled. Why on earth would a parent of a child with, say autism, be offended if I said my child who is on the G&T register has special needs? Special needs means simply that: needs that are outside the norm. I don't want my child to be catered for at the expense of another's child but why can't we strive to meet all needs?

My child's needs have never been met, despite my input for nearly 7 years now. Are you saying that just because he easily meets the NC levels that he is fine and can be ignored while a child who struggles to meet any milestones is given individual programmes of work and maybe has extra staff to help him? Well, it is a view of education that has been allowed to prevail for a long time, but it is not one I agree with. Surely all children's needs should be fully met, not just those who are going to struggle on their own?

GeneHunt · 02/06/2009 12:17

I think that it is an unrealistic expectation of state funded education. The money should go where it is needed most and that, rightly IMO, should be to children who really do have special needs.

G&T support is nice but a luxury I think.

Original poster

Northernlurker · 02/06/2009 12:18

'is it only ok to talk about your child if they are failing?'

That is exactly how I feel - and I slightly resent that! But on the other hand I don't want to be thought boastful because that is a Bad Thing.

aaaaaargh

OP posts:

morningpaper · 02/06/2009 12:19

DG I think that previous threads have demonstrated that it upsets people to include the requirements of children who excell in meeting milestones in the category of children who are unable to meet all of those milestones.

It is an EXCELLENT laundry day.

GeneHunt · 02/06/2009 12:30

More thoughtless than upsetting maybe?

I wish they did SATs for emotional literacy. That would be something to boast about I think.

snorkle · 02/06/2009 14:36

I don't think it's necessary to share the info unless it comes up & it probably doesn't have to very often. I can see where DG is coming from, but the difference between G&T and autism is that the one could cause another parent to feel jealous or that their child is in some way inferior so it has the potential for bad feeling. If you met a staggeringly beautiful child you wouldn't really expect their parents to draw attention to it & neither would you particularly appreciate an extremely wealthy person flaunting that either - I think G&T probably comes in a similar bracket & unless people are probing nosily it's not ideal to mention it.

Sometimes the nature of summer camps means it will be apparent that's what they are in any conversation about them. I was recently talking to a friend about plans for the summer & mentioned ds was going away on a weeks residential camp & the next question was 'oh what's he doing?'. I think the friend was expecting an answer like 'canoeing' which was what he did last time, but the answer was 'maths'. Although as ds has never been 'diagnosed' as G&T I wouldn't use the term anyway, I think the subject of the camp raised an eyebrow & I felt the need to justify it slightly so as not to appear like a loony pushy parent who habitually sends her dc to do intensive extra work in the holidays. I just added that he'd done quite well at a maths competition, been invited to it & was keen to go. Was that OTT I wonder?

Dumbledoresgirl · 02/06/2009 14:56

OK, points taken. But from an historical perspective, not many people know that SN originally meant children from both ends of the spectrum. It is often only teachers who trained in the 1980s who seem aware of that.

But it is all beside the point on this thread anyway. And I have already made it clear I do not boast about my G&T children (not to people outside the family anyway! ) and I certainly don't flaunt my wealth and excessive good looks (maybe because I don't possess either!)

Good weather for laundry indeed. Have done 11 loads since Saturday night when we got back from holiday and only 2 more to do before I start on this week's. Also done a rare thing: some gardening! I am right on in there in the current movement to grow your own and have 5 (maybe 4 as I bashed one) courgette plants transplanted outside.

Dumbledoresgirl · 02/06/2009 14:59

BTW don't agree at all with GeneHunt's comment about it not being a realistic expectation of state education to meet all children's needs. What an incredible shocking and depressing thought that is!

Dumbledoresgirl · 02/06/2009 15:00

incredibly even.

morningpaper · 02/06/2009 15:05

I also have a courgette in. Last year it trailed all over the place and I kept finding courgettes (and then marrows) in all sorts of unexpected places until late into the autumn

DadAtLarge · 02/06/2009 15:31

"I am right on in there in the current movement to grow your own and have 5 (maybe 4 as I bashed one) courgette plants"
OK, OK, green fingers, so more of your courgette plants survived than mine. So what?

snorkle · 02/06/2009 15:45

My courgettes are about to flower I only have 2 though (shuffles uneasily & wonders if I should run & plant some more).

GeneHunt · 02/06/2009 15:48

DumbledoresGirl, I think it an admirable aim to meet the diverse and unique needs of every child. I think it unrealistic to expect it to be possible from state funds.

Do you realistically think that every child's needs can be fully met when there is a finite amount of money available? What about children with complex physical or learning delays, should they get behind the able learners in the queue?

I'm just being realistic. I won't moan about provision for my child when others quite obviously need so much more. I'll pick up the slack myself or pay someone else to if I were that concerned.

GeneHunt · 02/06/2009 15:50

Is this where I mention that this year I have green and yellow courgettes? [/boast]

ingles2 · 02/06/2009 16:05

well as I can't boast about ds1, I'll have to boast that I've got 12 courgette plants, 6 butternut squashes and 6 pumpkins in my veg patch!

DadAtLarge · 02/06/2009 16:10

This Gardening and Tillage section needs to be shut down!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5