Is my 2-year-old a gourmet?

[MrsMerryHenry]

He has spurned Milky Bars and Cadbury's Creme Eggs in favour of dark Lindt eggs. He also prefers filtered water to straight from the tap.

I think he's a gourmet. What should I do? Perhaps it's time to send him to a Parisian Ecole des Gourmands? He's far too classy for a Jamie Oliver '15'-style initiative, and would shame Jamie with his superior vowels.

Or maybe I should ship him over to Tuscany for a month mastering Italian cuisine. He's so clever that a month should be more than sufficient.

What's the most effective way of hothousing his talent? HEEEELLP!!

He's not a gourmet, he's a ponce. Start him on IV brown sauce (not even HP, it must be Daddies) immediately before it is too late for him.

Have you not yet started instructing him in the art of creating the perfect mirepoix and making his ownphyllo?
If not, yuo need to get cracking pdq.

Pmsl!

I must say, I do draw the line at brown sauce. I think DS could manage to make his own pesto, would that be an acceptable alternative?

No - although dodgy supermarket pesto made from used tea leaves would be acceptable. Or you could try a packet of Coleman's bread sauce.

So he could use the tea leaves himself to super-whizz a home-made gourmet-ish pesto and then sell it back to the supermarkets? I like the sound of that: G&T 2-year-old Sets Up Own Company. Do you think it would be FTSE listed within the first 3 years?

Moondog - argh! I can't believe I've not got him onto mirepoix (though he does a fabulous aioli with his eyes shut )