Instead of starting threads taking the piss out of G&T children why don't you all just...

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena]

stop it. It's pathetic.

Thanks.

'Preciousness and pomposity needs to be deflated.' Hell yes seeker! But at the expense of what and whom? There's always a price to pay for this. Is it at the expense of the parent who has read the responses to these parents and is afraid to post because of the responses they think they will get?

Yes, my neighbours with the quadroplegic epileptic daughter must be so relieved she wasn't a talented violinist who went on to work in a high position at the Gregor Mendel Institute - so harrowing

I was bullied for being academic too. Other kids were bullied for other reasons. Some kids were clever and didn't get bullied. Go figure [wince]

Mabanana read this:

The most salient characteristics of gifted adolescents that may be associated with vulnerability to social and emotional disturbances are: (a) perfectionism, (b) supersensitivy, (c) social isolation, and (d) sensory overexcitability (Delisle, 1986; Dixon & Scheckel, 1996; Fleith, 1998; Hayes & Sloat, 1989). Driven by a self-oriented or socially prescribed perfectionism, the individual establishes high and rigid standards. To do the best is no longer enough and the individual feels frustrated no matter how well he/she performs (Lajoie & Shore, 1981). Excessive concern about errors, in addition to high parental and societal expectations, can result in depression and absence of self-worth. Many gifted youngsters believe they are loved for their grades, honors, and special abilities. As a result, they do not allow themselves to fail or make a mistake. " The shame and guilt of 'failure' can lead them to suicide" (Nelson & Galas, 1994, p. 47).

Is that how you would like to live your life?

nope, i'm not. My brians fell out when I gave birth.

I only got A's as a student too, not A++++

Music, alas, I'm tone deaf (it's congenital ) But I defy any fucker to play the recorder meaningfully

Art - well, I'm not appreciated in my own time, what can I say? [slices off left, tone deaf, ear]

There is a bullying topic. There are education topics. It is hard to imagine that any of the 'issues' that people need support over couldn't be posted there. So if anyone was wary of G+T topic, they aren't without a voice.

It sounds.....do-able, yes, relatively speaking

The shame and guilt of failure can drive anyone to suicide. It's hardly a disability to start out with at least some propect of success!

"Many gifted youngsters believe they are loved for their grades, honors, and special abilities."

And this is why research has shown that NOT applying G&T labels actually leads to happier children who achieve more academically. Always reward effort and not achievement is the mantra.

Indeed threadworm, and this thread should have been placed there, in the bullying topic, surely? [achieves minor G & T status]

"Many gifted youngsters believe they are loved for their grades, honors, and special abilities. As a result, they do not allow themselves to fail or make a mistake. " The shame and guilt of 'failure' can lead them to suicide" (Nelson & Galas, 1994, p. 47)."

Yes, I can certainly see that being labelled as 'gifted' and having parents who think of it as such an exceptional thing that nobody should ever show any sense of humour about it, and treat them as gods would really help a sensitive or perfectionist kid!
Where do you think they get the idea that they are loved for 'their grades, honors and special abilities', eh?

Gomez, from you excerpt, "Many gifted youngsters believe they are loved for their grades, honors, and special abilities"

--The existence G+T topic doesn't by any chance favour the perception that clever children are valued first and foremost by their parents for their cleverness?

I am happy to swap by the way. Giftedness for SLD's, non-verbal aged 9 (actually one word now- Mummy), dry during the day but nappies at night, good understanding of nouns, limited understanding of any other language. Perfect pitch but no means of being taught.

I look forward to the rush of offers (I'll be keeping the child btw just swapping the giftedness for the above).

There is also a huge difference between being a truly gifted or talented child (Mozart, for example) and a very clever child. I am prepared to accept that there might be a group of very clever child in every school in the country - I do not believe that there are more than a handful of truly gifted and/or talented children in the whole country. I remember a very wise poster on here, a teacher, saying that she had only taught a couple of gifted and/or talented in the course of a long career.

We can't say that the violinist who is successful now had a happy childhood free of torment though because the chances are she didn't.

Yes, children other than the bright ones get bullied. It's a sad fact. Alot of bright children (myself included) keep quiet for a peaceful life. Anyone that is different or stands out for some reason is the bully magnet.

Again, no one in their right mind chooses this for their child. It is wrong to push them and tutor them but parents do this beause they want this bright child. It's the child that they are damaging at the end of the day beause many parents take this too far. I have seen children with no life outside school and homework yet their parents make them do more. Don't tar all parents of bright children with this brush though.

Many may believe it Jimjams that is not to say it is true.

But I do take your point, labelling bright children as G&T is not helpful but that does not negate that fact there are some exceptionally fecking clever children who do need help and should be able to access it. As should all children with additional needs.

"Again, no one in their right mind chooses this for their child. "

That is daft. I'd choose it every time.

I think the SN card gets played a lot because there's always someone on the thread who says 'wah wah its so unfaiiir all those SN children get all the help they need why can't little johnny' which is so wildly untrue it's beyond irritating. As I always say go to SN and ask for help on SENDIST- then you get to see how easy the support is to access.

guy my son was bullied at school for his music abilities. He had a natural ability to play. His bullies were well off financially. These pupils didn't want him there because he was a competition they couldn't deal with. They made his life a misery because he was just an ordnary lad from a different background. He wanted to practice his music but couldn't at school because of them.

Of course people want their kids to be clever and academically successful. Nobody, however actively wants their child to be born disabled. Big difference IMO.

"Guy, you sound like you had a fantastic education, in an amazing school surrounded by people who shared your passion. You seem determined to paint yourself as a victim, what with your 'no doubt peopel talked about my parents as "snobs" and "pushy" - er you just made that up!"

Yes I did have a fantastic education from the age of 12 - however I was totally and utterly failed by the schools I went to before that age - academically. I am in no way a "bright" woman, I'd probably place myself somewhere around "average" - however I went to senior school not even knowing what something as simple as an equation was.

I was bullied HORRENDOUSLY throughout my school life until I was 16 (so had 4yrs of bullying at my senior school - because I'd basically spent the first 7yrs at school socially isolated. And the bullying started long before my musical talent became apparent. It had a devestating effect on my self esteem - and I still struggle with now 13yrs after the bullying ended.

I know that people called my parents snobs, and pushy - one of my teachers at middle school when I was preparing for auditions said to my face, and it was one of the many things said to be by the bullies (evidently picked up from their parents).

I took to spending most of my half term holidays staying with a school friend 400 miles from home, as going home was so bloody miserable and boring, no-one wanted to play/hangout/socialise with me.

I still bear the scars (emotionally and physically) from the years of bullying, so yes I can quite safely say that I was a victim.

"Of course people want their kids to be clever and academically successful. "

I don't - I want my kids to be average - even being average in life can get you decent jobs........and ime get you more friends too.