Worried about Local schools AND daughter's advanced ability :(

[YummyMummy21]

Hi

My DD 3.5 seems to be very advanced for her age compared to others her age and I am worried that when she is going to suffer and not continue to develop to her potential when she starts at school due to over crowding and low school results.

Firstly I am not a pushy mummy who thinks her child is better than everyone else's i promise. However, I do know that my daughter is advanced for her age. It was apparent quite early when she lifted her head clear off the ground at 4 weeks, and crawled at 5 months etc. She is now 3.5 cant count to 60 and not just 1-60 but can give me x many objects. She can also count to 10 in Spanish and speaks basic Spanish (not a 2nd language spoken at home either just picked it up on family holiday). She knows all shapes, colours, and can also distinguish which object/image is different to others. She knows her letter sounds and words which begin with them, not just memory either as she makes words up and has started to read basic words such as cat bat mat, dog, frog, log etc.

Basically the reason for me writing this is that we have just moved into a new area where the schools are very over crowded to the point that I can not get her into a school nursery for this sept, and every school has large waiting lists of children in catchment area, and made longer by children out of catchment area. The schools in the area are not great and appear quite low on the LEA's list of schools. The school (the best of bad bunch if you like) I was hoping to get her into which also happens to be closet have told me that although they will put her on the list for sept 09, they do not believe it likely that she will be given a place due to high applicants, as we are not in the catchment area and usually they don't get to offer places to non-catchment area applicants. The school n my catchment area, which also happens to be over subscribed, is the worst in the area, I visited the school and cried after I had left (luckily I manged to wait till I was out of sight). I am worried that due to the large classes and over-all school attitude that she will not be able to thrive and reach her true potential. But will instead become bored. I saw this happening to my eldest brother ho went from top of his class to dropping out of school because he became bored and frustrated at school.

Can I refuse to send her to this school, who/ where can I go to get her into the better school, it seems ridiculous that the school can be closer in miles, yet not in catchment area. Even if she were to go to the better school, how can I help her not to become bored, but not be dragged down/ not carrying on developing when the class will be taught at a slower pace. Am I driving myself insane for no reason. Has anyone had a seemingly advanced child, that has gone to a not so great school but has continued to advance?

Thanks in advance for any replies x

[LynetteScavo]

I don't want to put a downer on your daughters abilities, but DS1 could do every thing your DD could do at that age, but he lifted his head when he was 2 days old, could say tellytubbies at 6 months and spoke French rather than Spanish.

Reception was no great challange for him accademically, but socially it was invaluable. He has been well catered for accacemically since Y1, and while he is usually top of the class, he's by no means miles ahead - there are other bright chldren out there!

I'm also wondering why you moved to this area.

Send her to a school you like, where you think she will be happy and well cared for.Sounds like you may have to get the car out and drive her to a school of your liking - have you looked at village shchools?

[YummyMummy21]

LynetteScavo > 2 days! WOW ! Im not talking about being able to hold her head up by the way, im talking, laying on her tummy and pushing herself up so head is clear of the ground! (which I dont now and didnt think was a sign of inteligence by the way, just example of her being 'advanced')

Mabanana> I cant open that link at the moment but will have a listen later, Thanks.

Cory> Thanks for reply. I told her that I didnt think there was a name for baby dinosaurs. However, knowing how full of interlects MN is, I wondered if there were any paleontologists who could answer.

[AbbeyA]

I definitely wouldn't send her to a school that you are not happy with it and don't think will meet her needs. You need to decide whether you think she would be better with HE or whether to look for a suitable school.
She sounds a bright little thing, but by no means exceptional. There are lots of similar children. My DS was asking me questions such as 'how do bridges stay up in the middle?'when he was still in nappies. He went on to do physics at university but he is by no means exceptional or gifted. Getting on socially is far more important at that age.

[FluffyMummy123]

Message withdrawn

[pagwatch]

dogs are genuis
they can lick their own penis.
THAT is real G&T.

[FluffyMummy123]

Message withdrawn

[Thefearlessfreak]

Much too young to be worrying or planning her degree ceremony. She'll flourish best where she feels loved, comfortable, secure & surrounded by peers...peers NOT academic equals/genius'.

[SoupDragon]

"laying on her tummy and pushing herself up so head is clear of the ground"

just shows strength. She'll grow up to be a shot-putter

[Heated]

Can we accept that the OP has a bright dd and not get narked or snidey over it? It's not a 'my child is considerably brighter than yours' post which deserves a bit of stomping on.

To answer the OP, imo if you have doubts about the negative atmosphere of the school, could you visit again, this time with hb so you have someone to bounce ideas off? And talk to parents, read the Ofsted. Look too at the performance tables and look not just at the overall level 4s but the level 5s - that could tell you an indicator of how good they are at pushing along the brighter ones.

If you remain completely unhappy with the prospect of sending dd there you have a few (hard) decisions left: 1)Move 2)Go private - some parents remortgage, get/change jobs to afford private ed as they hold it in such high priority 3)Home Ed 4)Send her and review at the end of a term when you can probably get a perspective by then.

[YummyMummy21]

I never said it was a sign of inteligence actually!!! IF YOU READ.....say she has always been advanced.......meaning something that is done before it is expected!!!!

Nor have I actually said that my daughter is intelligent! Im not seeking confirmation from anyone on a site this was mearly about an above average child thriving in a below average school!

I mentioned the head lifting today in response to a comment made me another MN'er!!!!

You know there are no rules which say that I must not talk about her lifting her head.... but anyway I have never actually said it was a sign of intelligence, if you are going to go to the effort of replying to a thread then please also make the effort to read it.....Thanks!

[lucyellensmum1]

PFB alert!! Why do we feel the need to push our children so far. OP if your child is a gifted as you say, going to a normal school wont hold her back, she will simply flourish - if you push her you will put pressure on her and learning will not be fun.

I could read before i started school, but i wouldn't let the teachers know it, i held on the my first reading book for ages, pretending not to have read it - i was scared that the next book would be too hard. I walked at nine months too. Very advanced - left school before i sat my O levels.

I think you have recieved a negative response as you seem to put yourself above those families from ordinary schools. If you feel that strongly about it, send her to a private school for what difference you think that will make.

If she really is gifted in certain areas, she would probably win a scholarship at some point too.

[LynetteScavo]

Well, my child is brighter than all of yours,so ner... infact he's' probably the most gifted and talneted child in the universe, but because I didn't choose a sensible career or live in an urban area, he's stuffed. Aparently.

YummyMummy, you think any of us actually send our DC's to below average schools?

You probably are driving yourself insane for no reason (lots of us do it - you are not alone )

[YummyMummy21]

Prehaps not LynetteScavo, but like I have said at the moment the below average school is the only school that will accept her, which is why I originally posted to see if I had to send her there if, come Sept it was still the only option.

Lucyellensmum1 have you actually read any of the posts I have typed at all???? Or are you using others posts as a basis for your own post??

You can search my messages....I def didnt say she was gifted (I posted in G&T as thought there may have been some support from parents who are/have been in similar situations) Learning is fun for us, as you would have seen if you had READ the posts i'd written I say all that she has learnt has been through her picking things up at her own pace. i.e hearing things once, wanting to know more info, by playing games, singing (making up songs), visiting places etc.
I dont put myself above families from ordinary schools either! I would be happy to send her to a school if I felt that it was any good, but I dont!
Had we not have had to move, then she would be going to an ordinary state school with average results. But, as we had to move, it would take us 2hours to get there in the morning traffic, so is not realistic!

[YummyMummy21]

Thanks for your reply HEATED

[lijaco]

If your child is clever they will thrive anywhere. I have had 4 children and all could hold there heads up very well from birth. They seem to have had excellent memory skills and pick things up easily as they were talked to a lot and encouraged. so it is obviously through attention, opportunities and interest given to your child that she is picking things up quickly. children are like sponges at that age. most children are like your child when they are encouraged and praised. carry on and your child will progresss well. The physical abilities I do feel are individual, and developmental, and all kids reach the same level in the end. don't think holding headup, walking early and all that is a sign of advancement. The brain develops differently for all children in different areas of it i.e. speech, etc.
It is really strange how quick kids at nursery / primary age are overtaken by the slower developers in their classes when they get to high school age. Enjoy your child and try not to worry. Learning should be fun and enjoyable not pressurising.

[singersgirl]

If you didn't like the school, don't send her. It doesn't matter whether she's advanced or not.

[peanutbutterkid]

YummyMum, pls would you give postcode/name of the school which made you cry, (please?).

[AbbeyA]

I think you are complicating it with two different issues.
The only one that matters is the school one. Don't send her to a failing school if you don't like it. That would apply to any child-there is no reason for an average DC or a SN DC to have to put up with it either, in many ways a brighter DC would cope with it better.

[clam]

Sorry, but here goes.....

"... lying on her stomach.."

"defininitely," not defiantly

"Prospective parent"

Father Christmas intelligent

Thanks.

[Smithagain]

Haven't got time to read all the posts properly, but in answer to your original question "Has anyone had a seemingly advanced child, that has gone to a not so great school but has continued to advance?"

In a nutshell - yes

DD1 was very similar at three to the way you have described your daughter. (i.e. bright/advanced but not genius material.)

She is at a rather average state primary, with a pretty mediocre Ofted report - and doing very well, happy in school and interested in her work.

[cory]

As Abbey says, it's about trying to cover two separate issues (whether dd is above average and whether school is substandard) in one post.

But the fact that question 1 may be irrelevant should not blind us to the fact that question 2 is actually pretty important. Even those of us (such as me!) who have a very good opinion of the state system cannot deny that there are schools that are less good than others. Why would you advise anyone to choose that for their child?

If the OP had been discussing an independent school which gave her a bad impression I would have said the same- if you are not happy with the school, look elsewhere.

[AbbeyA]

'Even if she were to go to the better school, how can I help her not to become bored, but not be dragged down/ not carrying on developing when the class will be taught at a slower pace.'

Going back to the opening post I see that it isn't two separate issues and that you think she is too bright for any school.There will be many other children of similar ability, you need have no fear. It is possible that she might have trouble keeping up! Schools can cope with intelligent children! In my area a boy goes into the secondary school for Maths once a week, other children go on workshops for the gifted in literacy etc. A friend of mine has a full time job arranging courses for the gifted and talented in her county, they are over subscribed. There are lots of highly intelligent children around at normal state schools.

[chipmunkswhereareyou]

Clam, and your point is?

I find it really rude when people post solely to correct someone else's spelling on here.

[ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe]

I went to a shit school and the only reason I didn't do as well as I should have done from 14 was for one reason only.


Boys!!

The school was crap but I still did brill until I discovered the males in the class

The point is bright kids will still do well wherever they are if they want too.