can my gifted son go to school earlier (late birthday)?

[nybom]

my son's birthday is at the end of september which means he'll go to school at the age of five and will be one of the oldest of his year...

my son is very sociable, his social skills are highly developed, and he's very independent for his age (he's never had a problem with unfamiliar people or places, doesn't need any time whatsoever to adjust to new situations). he LOVES going to nursery 3 whole days a week (since aged 6 months), he'd love to to go to EVERY day, asks me each morning if he can go... basically he is bored at home, wants constant intellectual stimulation as well as other children around him. my son shows several signs of giftedness, e. g. he can spell 6 letter words since the age of two. many people (psychologists, nursery nurses, gps etc.) have remarked on his intelligence though we haven't actually had it tested yet.

my husband and i both have an IQ of 140, and i remember when i was a child i was so bored at home, so my mum had to teach me to read and write at the age of three. i wished i had had the opportunity to go to school earlier then...

can i have my son's intelligence/suitability for school assessed so he might be able to go to school a year earlier?

it's not that i want to push him into something, make a genius out of him or anything like that, if he's really not suitable that's fine with me! but i feel strongly that it is wrong if he goes to school so late, that he's ready now... does anyone know if there's anything i can do/how to procede?

thanks, nicky

[OverMyDeadBody]

Would a truly gifted child ever actually be bored though? I thought gifted children often liked solitary persuits, kept themselves busy with unusual hobbies and interests, and where forever busy doing things?

[OverMyDeadBody]

I've known kids with pushy parents burn out really young as they're so sick of being academically pushed and stimulated and miss out on just being a child. At some time they rebel against this. One frined of mine was a member of mensa by 3. Took his GCSEs at ten and sat A level science at 13. He was also a grade 8 piano and chello player by 15.

He failed his first year of uni as he just could not be bothered and hated working and studying as all the fun had been taken out of it for him.

Be careful nyborn.

[Hulababy]

nybom - sorry, I misunderstood. When you said he had 4 days at home, I didn't count weekends.

To answer your original question it would be extremely unusual for a state school to take a child a year early. Infact I am not sure if it is even possible these days.

Some, although definitely not all, private schools may consider it but that would only be after their own assessment had taken place.

If I have your ages right - he is now 3y9m? Which means that you would actually like him to start school this coming September, in 2 months time, at age 3y11m? As opposed to next year, when he is supposed to start at 4y11m?

[lucyellensmum]

is this about his "giftedness" or your need for more convenient childcare?

[pagwatch]

can I just also mention that if you put a child up a year, especially a boy, you then throw up all sorts of problem re physicality.
My Ds1 was/is very bright but one of the youngest.
He also happened to be very very sporty and his frustration at being so much smaller than some ofthe other boy - and as a consequence disadvantaged in sport -was immense.
He has finally caught and is at last playing a standard to suit his ability. But it has taken until now ( aged 15).And he nearly lost all hope that he would get a chance to do well at something he loves so much.
You could open a can of worms.

[Hulababy]

You will also need to consider what happens at secondary level as, even if he did get in somewhere a year early, not all secondary schools will accept students a year out of synch int his way. I am sure there was a MN thread about this problem not that long ago.

[nybom]

@hulababy:

If I have your ages right - he is now 3y9m? Which means that you would actually like him to start school this coming September, in 2 months time, at age 3y11m? As opposed to next year, when he is supposed to start at 4y11m?<
yes, correct!

@lucyellensmum:
is this about his "giftedness" or your need for more convenient childcare?<
it's BOTH, of course it would be convenient, i would lie if i say it wasn't.

[clumsymum]

lucyellensmum, I wondered the same thing.

And nybom when you said "it's not that i can't think of things but i simply don't have the time: i'm self employed + a phd student, and i also have a four week old baby"
I'm afraid I was a bit .

I know we all have to earn a living, and your phD is very laudable etc, but I'm a tad concerned about your priorities here.
Don't look back regretting the time you missed with your little boy..

I really don't think you can "have it all".....

[itati]

A bit owrried that the older child will feel pushed out by the baby.

[Hulababy]

Well, if about childcare, even if only partly - then school is not really going to help is it?

Yes, it is 5 days a week but only for 5.5 hours a day - certainly not the 10 hours you are getting at nursery.

Then take off 13 weeks a year when there will be no school at all. Doesn't matter how bored he is, there will be no school.

Then take off another 5 days for INSET days where there is no school.

Also another thing to bear in mind of a year younger than his friends - they will be able to do a lot of things he can't, especially when it comes to extra curricular activites. Many have ages restrictions - swimming lessons may be from 5y, beavers is from 6y, holiday clubs often from age 5y upwards, etc. And this can affect things like birthday parties too.

[nybom]

@hulababy,

that makes sense... i hadn't thought of that.

nicky

[colditz]

Allow him to be bored some of the time.I never learned to entertain myself, was taught to read at 3 etc but I am one of those people who need constant input. I don't relax. I wish I had been taught to spend time messing about.

[pointydog]

How do people know their IQs in the first place?

And who talks about their IQ?

[colditz]

I know a little boy who started at bang on 4 years old. He is very definitely the youngest in his class, he is a very bright child but his behavior is young. He's small. He's not as strong as a lot of the other boys. He is socially active, and indeed he may look socially gifted compared to children at nursery, but he isn't average for a reception aged child, he is slightly immature, and would have benefited HUGELY from waiting until next year.

I cannot see that this would have any benefit for him, to be honest. Teach him to read now, using Jolly Phonics, teach him to count, add up, take away, teach him to do his own coat up and wait in a line etc, and you will give him a head start. By starting him this year, you would be giving him a deliberate disadvantage.

[nybom]

@pointydog

How do people know their IQs in the first place? And who talks about their IQ? <

IQ tests...

btw, i never talk about my IQ to other people. only in this context did i mention it (+ internet is anonymous) to demonstrate why my son - probably - is highly gifted, not to show off! couldn't care less how intelligent/unintelligent i come across (thus careless spelling etc. ;-))

nicky

[pointydog]

yes but how do you get an IQ test and why do you get one?

[motherinferior]

IQ tests are pretty well disproved now as a gauge of actual intelligence, aren't they?

[OverMyDeadBody]

yes, listen to mutt

[motherinferior]

Mind you I appear to be in a small and thicko minority on MN, in that neither of my children are on a G&T list

[lucyellensmum]

Well i'm in awe nybom, i wrote up my PhD with a new baby and i barely coped. There is no way i could manage to do that with an older child so hats off to you for that. I know how hard it is.

I had to learn a very hard lesson with my eldest, she is a very bright girl and i constantly pushed her at school and could never accept that she wasn't going to be a high flyer like i felt i should have been. I felt i could prove my parental worth if she was a high acheiver. So i pushed, and she pushed back, resulting in her leaving school with very few qualifications of any use. Now she bums around doing bugger all basically. The sad thing is, that our relationship is poor because of this, she resents me im sure and it breaks my heart. Why couldnt i accept that some people don't want to be scientists, doctors or accountants, some people just want to bum around and enjoy themselves, make a living and well, bum around.

I now have a DD2, and it will be very hard for me not to push her too, but please God i wont. She is less bright i think than DD1 who could also read before she started school, but at the end of the day all that matters is that our children are happy.

Does it all have to be about intellectual stimulation - take him to a soft play centre, buy him a fruit shoot and let him have fun

Good luck with the PhD by the way

[MadamePlatypus]

I don't know if it would be wrong or right for a bright september child to start school early. However, I think you also need to think about the future - do you want him to be knocking around with children who are almost 14 when he is 12?

[keevamum]

Just like to add I went to school a year early but not because I was super intelligent just because I was very advanced at that age. My sister was 2 years above me academically but was only actually a year older in reality. Her birthday august mine in October. We were fiercely competetive from birth and so when she learnt to read so did I when she learnt to write so did I. Hence why the decision was made for me to start early but just before going up into middle school I had to stay back a year so I would be in synch with my peers. NOW that was boring, I was with the same teacher learning the same things all over again. I wouldn't wish that on anyone....however, if you truly think he is gifted it might be worth trying to see an Ed Psych to have him assessed to see if he really should go up early. From my point of view it would be more boring for him though to have to repeat a year later on because of it.

[MadamePlatypus]

Also...

A child at a full time nursery gets quite alot of attention and has quite an organised day. It might do him good (as others have said) to just knock around and do nothing for a bit. Honestly - boredom is good for you.