can my gifted son go to school earlier (late birthday)?

[nybom]

my son's birthday is at the end of september which means he'll go to school at the age of five and will be one of the oldest of his year...

my son is very sociable, his social skills are highly developed, and he's very independent for his age (he's never had a problem with unfamiliar people or places, doesn't need any time whatsoever to adjust to new situations). he LOVES going to nursery 3 whole days a week (since aged 6 months), he'd love to to go to EVERY day, asks me each morning if he can go... basically he is bored at home, wants constant intellectual stimulation as well as other children around him. my son shows several signs of giftedness, e. g. he can spell 6 letter words since the age of two. many people (psychologists, nursery nurses, gps etc.) have remarked on his intelligence though we haven't actually had it tested yet.

my husband and i both have an IQ of 140, and i remember when i was a child i was so bored at home, so my mum had to teach me to read and write at the age of three. i wished i had had the opportunity to go to school earlier then...

can i have my son's intelligence/suitability for school assessed so he might be able to go to school a year earlier?

it's not that i want to push him into something, make a genius out of him or anything like that, if he's really not suitable that's fine with me! but i feel strongly that it is wrong if he goes to school so late, that he's ready now... does anyone know if there's anything i can do/how to procede?

thanks, nicky

[nybom]

Re your OP can you really remember being three? Are you sure this isn't something that has been said to you by your mother >

my earliest memory is actually when i was 1,5-2 years old: for instance, once i woke up in the middle of the night and i was scared of the clock in the living room, which i could see through my bedroom door. i also remember playing with my mum in the garden, and going to the nursery round the corner, and watching my mum leave through the window (wich i could only just reach). why do you ask, is this unusual?

with regards to the writing at 3 - luckily my mum kept the exercise books and wrote the dates in them. so i definetely learnt to write at the age of 3.

nicky

[nooka]

Sorry - I wasn't questioning whether you did learn to read at three, just that you remembered and were affected by being bored. I can't say I have any clear memories from that long ago, just a few visual/tactile images really. But my family is full of stories of what I was like (I am the youngest) which I have kind of absorbed into quasi memories. I just think it's an interesting area.

[itati]

I am not worried that my child is on the G&T list. It doesn't actually mean anything in the great scheme of things other than she gets harder books than the other kids get.

[TheChicken]

oh give yourselves both a break
if you areso clever teach him youself

[nybom]

yes, i was sooo bored... my mum used to go on about it, telling me how i would nag her to teach me more and more ;-) and that since joining kindergarten i desperately wanted to go to school. that i can remember. and when i finally could, i loved it, PARTICULARLY the competitive side of it (weird isn't it...) despite being a shy little thing. i was really sad when i did my a-levels and had to leave school, but then i went on to uni :-), and now i'm still studying (for a phd)...

nicky

[funnypeculiar]

Hummm, but nicky, I'm not convinced that a child being bored & saying they want to school = a child who is actually ready for school.

As kids, our garden backed onto the school playing field. Surprisingly enough we were all desperate to go to school

How old is your ds now, btw?

[funnypeculiar]

I used to nag to learn stuff too - my bedtime book at 7 was 'An introduction to stresses and strains in materials' .

I think my dad taught me more about learning skills than my primary school - he spent a lot of time helping me source & research material. COuld you do that with your ds? Home chemistry set (ds enjoys his); teach him to use the internet; get some workbooks if you think he'd enjoy them...

[Hulababy]

What I never understand is how children get bored at nursery.

Nursery isn't about learning. It is about having fun, playing, interacting with friends, exploring their worls around them. How many little children really get bored with playing and having fun with their little friends?

If a 3 year old want to learn something more specific - such as reading, spelling, writing, maths - no probllem. Do it with them at home, build it into their games, follow their lead.

But why do you want them to do it in a formal way in nursery or school. That is most definitely not the purpose of a nursery.

Your child has many years ahead of him to do formal learning - why rush it? If you chose his school careful there is no reason why he will be bored at school when he starts at the proper time - a good school will differentiate. I can't belive any primary school child is so bright and gifted that an adult teaher can't find ways of challenging them.

[duchesse]

EVERYBODY learns how to read eventually. It is not a sign of high intelligence. I could read at 2 and am living proof of that.

As the mother of 3 pretty smart things all pretty much at secondary school, I would counsel you not to start to push your son academically. Stretch him sideways (ie broaden), do not focus in a limited number of skills (and reading is a mere skill).

Above all, make sure he HAPPY whatever you choose. I was also extremely bored at school from the very beginning (difficult to say whether I was unhappy because was so unhappy at home that even boring school was better), and for this reason have chosen to send my children to independent schools.

[duchesse]

Hula- I never had fun, even as a 3 yr old. Too busy worrying to have fun. Wish I could. There are some children who are not into having fun.

[nybom]

@hulababy, sorry if i was unclear - DS is NOT bored at nursery (they learn loads of stuff there), he's bored the 4 days he's at home... and call me a bad mother but i really don't have the time to challenge him for 10 (!) hours a day the way they can do in nursery...

@funnypeculiar, to answer your question DS is 3,3/4 now.

nicky

[duchesse]

nybom- he needs to learn how to make his own entertainment then. That is an invaluable skill. Let him be bored; honestly, he will become creative about managing it in time.

[TheChicken]

i was snet to school early as I was precocious.

so mum sent me to a spanish one( were in Gibralatar) where i learned fluent spanish.
cant speak a word now

[nybom]

@all - i only want DS to be HAPPY, and he seems happiest when facing the biggest challenges, socially and intellectually. he is so full of energy that he is satisfied most after a long day physically and emotionally challenging day at nursery. and because I was bored as a child - but not as socially able as him - i'm inclined to think he might be better off at school... after all the transition from nursery seems smooth in the UK, despite what you say: in other countries you PLAY at nursery (NO curriculum whatsoever), only unstructured play, and then you go to school, straight into first grade, where you have tables, chairs, books and a blackboard - no toys at all... and only a few children can't cope.

nicky

[Hulababy]

duchesse - I think that is all the more reason to focus on having fun; teaching the child how to play. I can only imagine whata sad little world it is for a 3 year old who is worrying more than playing - I think we eed to work on making usre that little ones aren't in that position, and help them move on. Afterall, the skills involved in playin, especially the socil side are huge life skills that will benefit them at chool and beyond.

nybom - so show your child how to do these things for himself, because at shool this is what they will do. And show him how to explore his own world so he can learn from it. Give him plenty of paper and pens and send him off into the garden to observe and find out about insects and bugs, and plants. Get him cooking with you at meal times - measuring out ingrediants, using a recipe, learning about nutrition, learning about time, etc.

You don't need to do formal learning with a bright cild - you ust let them learn through their own world and environment. Push the boundaries for them and challenge them - but don't dish it out on a plate. Let them learn to teach themselves. And once he can read he has the whole world of learning at his feet - through books.

Can he go to a nursery for more than one day a week - is he eligible for a free place at a local nursery? Just so he is getting the chance to do those things he is doing at his other nursery a bit more frequently. That would probably be preferable to starting formal schooling a year early.

[duchesse]

hula- my god how I wish that someone had taken the time to teach me. Alas I was what nowadays is referred to as a "young carer" by the age of 5. I cannot imagine a universe in which anyone might think it sensible to leave a 5yr old "in charge" of a 3 and 1 yr old, but there you have it. I did feed my older little sister mothballs to see what would happen. Got cold feet, told my mother she'd eaten them, and she spent a week in hospital eating ice-cream. Didn't stop the parentals from leaving me "in charge" afterwards. It's a wonder I'm not a psychopath instead of a moderately socially maladjusted adult.

[TheChicken]

[Bbbee]

not often the case - moving out of school year very unusual.

school is able to differentiate the curiculum so don;t worry too much.

[Hulababy]

How sad duchesse.

I wish all children were able to have fun, carefree lives. It is easy to forget that some don't sometimes.

[OverMyDeadBody]

No child could be bored at nursery. Surely that is the best place to keep him? The very nature of the early years curriculum means the teachers can adapt it to suit each child. Just because it looks like play doesn't mean it is not stimulating or a learning experience. I really recommend you not to try to get him into more formal education early.

Have you looked at the mensa website? It might be a good idea to contact them, they might provide you with more informed advice than you could get here.

[lucyellensmum]

FGS let him be a little boy for a bit longer for you turn him into an uber geek. IQ doesnt necc stand for much - mine is 158 and i cant tell my left from right!

If he is bored at home, ask yourself why. I could read by the time i started school, fluently, aged 5. I left without any qualifications at all, due to lack of confidence.

My DD will only just be 4, that makes me why would i want to lose my baby so early fgs.

i must remind myself never to be a pushy mummy i will never be a pushy mummy i will never be a pushy mummy

I was that mummy you see, and my 18yo rebelled against it big time.

[nybom]

@hulababy,

he goes to nursery 3 days, we can't/don't want to afford any more. he gets 2,5 hours free a day (something like that), this is subtracted from our bill, as he still goes to his "old" private nursery. he could go 2,5 hours, 5 times a week, to a public nursery, but that's too short - as soon as i've walked him there i'd have to set off again to collect him, we prefer it in bigger chunks (whole days instead of 2,5 hours).

nicky