How can I motivate a bright child who may be coasting?

[Lemonthyme]

How to encourage your clever kid to really apply him or herself?

My son has sailed through his mocks and done really well. He's predicted to get 9s in his favourite subjects (Maths and Physics) but I'm slightly worried that his teachers love him because he's so much brighter and finds some of those subjects easy.

I might be overthinking but I do a lot of work on behaviour in my job and I very much doubt his teachers mark his papers blind. When it comes to GCSEs "for real" he will have someone unknown to him marking (who won't have a halo effect about him) and then he's going to go to another school, as long as he gets the grades, which will be far more academically led.

I think the new school will be great for him. An awakening that there will be other kids out there as bright as him. It's been his choice too which is great but we're not there yet.

But in the meantime, he's bloody stubborn so if I nag him into revising it would be counter intuitive. He tells me he's doing loads, but in all honesty I wouldn't be surprised if it's 10 minutes revision then 20 minutes of Family Guy or Top Gear (he's a bit old school).

I think he's kind of resting on being smart. And he is smart, that's not in doubt.

I'm torn though because I was a high achieving student whose parents withheld affection unless I got good (and I mean perfect) grades. So I'm stuck wondering "is this just me overthinking it all and recreating something which was fundamentally hurtful?" or "Is he genuinely slacking?"

Both could of course be true. But any suggestions to positively motivate a competent coaster would be helpful. AND I do realise the irony that I should be good at this considering what I work in, but I think because it's so personal, I end up in analysis paralysis.

Sounds a lot like my older son (except he was not universally popular with teachers!) who coasted to a range of 7-9s at GCSE barely doing any work. Maths was his thing too, but he easily got some very high grades in humanities too. Kids who are properly good at maths can easily get 8s and 9s in physics and maths at gcse without breaking a sweat. Don’t let him know you think his results might be false — you are probably wrong, honestly, and he might take it as an insult.

He’s probably bored by the work; mine was. As the maths became progressively more absorbing and interesting (through A levels, degree, masters and now PhD) he has worked harder and harder, and enjoyed it more and more. Or maybe yours just wants to get out into the ‘real’ world and isn’t stimulated by purely academic challenges. If he’s both smart and personable he will be a huge asset in the workplace. Either way, he’s got a big head start and is in a great position.

He sounds like a good kid too (mine was an holy terror at that age) and honestly, it feels like this is more about you and your history than a genuine cause for worry. It’s good that you’re reflective about how your childhood might be influencing you. I was so stressed when mine was doing GCSEs — I was convinced he was going to crash and burn. On results day I was so grateful I hadn’t lost my shit at him, because I was bang wrong and he’d judged his own capacity completely correctly. Just keep the food and support coming, and keep a check on your tendency to worry!

I'm torn though because I was a high achieving student whose parents withheld affection unless I got good (and I mean perfect) grades. So I'm stuck wondering "is this just me overthinking it all and recreating something which was fundamentally hurtful?" or "Is he genuinely slacking?"

I think this is really important and it would be a good idea to work on your past before it harms your future relationship with him.

Your son is good enough. He's predicted high grades.

I think you have to let them find their own way. There is more to life than academic brilliance. Yes they do need to pass enough for the next steps but my kids happiness won’t be linked to academic brilliance it’s the joy they get through friendships and playing sport.

My DS was an Arkwright Scholar There is very little actual work involved.
First round is about ideas ie invent a bubble machine or snow plough in exam conditions. This is to see how brain works, not necessarily about knowledge.
2nd round is presenting a project to a panel.at a university. It was a great experience for him and gave him confidence.
He had Senior gold at UKMT as well, but had 2 attempts at Alevels and dropped out of engineering at Uni.
However once in the workplace his employers loved him, gave him rapid promotions and and a degree apprenticeship. He should graduate in July.

He's capable of a lot of 9s. He's very liikely to get a 5 or 6 with a good headwind in one subject he hates (fair enough) others he could get 6,7 or 8 very much "on the day" dependent but capable of top grades.

My DS sounds a lot like yours. It's unpopular on here, but I found bribery a great motivation; was given bugger all for low/ok marks, but got a decent amount for each 9. Funnily enough, he did well - and subsequently admitted that he wouldn't have bothered to make any effort if it hadn't been for the £ motivation.

I didn't need to bribe him for A levels since he'd matured enough to understand that his uni depended on him getting good marks.

If he has his eye on certain universities (even if he’s not sure he wants to go, he might still have one in mind) have a look at the admissions pages and google what the average grades of admitted students are

. He might not realise he needs (say) eight grade 9s to get a place at his desired university, meaning he needs to achieve even in his less preferred subjects

Ah, see my other post about my parents and their attitude to exams. That would stray far to far into that territory for my liking.

Fair enough, and perfectly reasonable. But you asked for ideas on how to motivate your child, and I'm afraid it's all I can offer since I found no other way to motivate mine.

I'm sure your DS will be fine regardless of the marks he gets🙂