Gifted or just smart - and does it matter?

[Kapkuhnaka]

I have year 7 dd. She's always been quick to pick things up and very bright. Early speaker despite being bilingual, picked up reading at 2. At school always quite a bit ahead of expectations despite being summer baby and pulled out for extension in primary.

At beginning year 7, they did the cat 4 test. Three categories above average to varying extents (vocab and marhs very high) but the skills category came back at 145 which is top 1% .Altogether academic gcses predicted as 8s and 9s which is great.

But it's this "skills" category which got me thinking.

She does have an extraordinary memory. For example, she decided to randomly memorise all the flags of the world for some reason - just because. And it turns out she knows them all (and i mean thatx even the most obscure ones) and both ways (I.e. tell her the country name and ask her to describe the flag). Another example is we stayed somewhere in October and there was an 8 digit random wifi code. When we went back at Christmas, she remembered the code. She hadn't even tried to remember, I'd read it out to her once!

She's also super quick, very fast. They have a game in her French class which is a kind of timed competition and the teacher gives her a delay to allow the other kids a chance to win.

I feel like it's almost the polar opposite of some of the gifted children here who are highly intelligent but struggle with working memory and processing speed. One of my kids is neurodivergent and this is exactly what they have struggled with so I am aware how much easier this makes life and functioning with exams and assessments.

But is this aspect even considered gifted?
And if it is does it matter? She likes school, she's got nice friends, well behaved and does well academically but often reports feeling bored and finishing early. That said, she'd hate to be singled out for anything as a typical tween. School hasnt raised any concerns - but why would they? However, some people have said to me i should raise it to ensure she gets challenged. We missed the clues with my neurodivergent child who masked well and was diagnosed late so I do worry a bit

I was a similar child with a memory like this. (Ended up going to Oxbridge and am now an academic.) Encourage her to take up some hobbies that make particular use of her memory, eg.: learning an extra language, debate/public speaking, drama (it’s much easier to learn lines) — even learning poetry off by heart. Reading a lot will also help. She sounds very bright, and you could add a bit of extra stretch outside school by taking her to museums/ galleries / plays and so on. Does she play an instrument or have a particular set of subjects she is passionate about?

Yes, it matters. Research 'former gifted child syndrome'. Avoid if you can but you'll have your work cut out for you as the world bases expectations around it.

Yes, she's played piano and trumpet. Piano she learned since Year 2 and it was ok but she couldn't really get the left and right hand doing different things very well (actually all through preschool and early years her fine motor skills and handwriting as a result have been a bit of an issue which is the reason we started her on piano). However she started trumpet in year 4 and that's gone really well, definitely more her thing and vibe. She's the only year 7 invited to join the school sdcondary band and she enjoys ensemble playing a lot.

She doesn't really want to do that kind of enrichment to be honest. We do quite a bit as a family when we can but she generally comes under protest (not another museum, mum 😀) She is a great reader though and still hasn't lost her love of reading to the distraction of screens. So we encourage her to read widely, talk about what she's reading and take an interest in it and try to put down our screen ourselves and read too!

Right now she's teaching herself Chinese through duolingo!

YES!! I haven't researched it but I know exactly what you mean. I don't want her to be labelled. And I don't want the pressure of expectations on her. But she does report being bored in class and finishing her work early.

When I said does it matter I meant NOT intervening at school or pushing her academically and allowing her to follow her own path.

Yeah this is me.

my dd is like this as well. For her gcse Latin exam she literally memorised a couple of pages of English/latin translation of a poem and was able to easily ace the exam because she could simply “look it up” in her memory.

my memory is not what it was (I have neurological disease) but it’s still better than most. I’m learning Arabic for fun in my retirement (medically retired).

more generally, yes it’s useful but more in school and at uni than anywhere else.

My dd was like this. Counted as gifted by school and is now at Cambridfe doing an Mphil.

My August birthday ds was not counted as gifted (struggled with reading in ks1) but learnt flags with no prompting etc and is now doing academically v well as well. I also know other children counted as gifted in primary that just petered out.

Having been through both of their school careers, I just dont think the labelling is that helpful for anyone. You dd sounds fab and id just let her get on with what works for her.

What does she do in class once she finishes her work early? Do they teachers let her read? Does she have any particularly liked / disliked subjects?

Thank you!
I think i needed this reassurance that its OK to just let her be. Because it's a major regret that we missed the signs with our older child and it all went pears up.
She is fab!

As someone who was like this as a child - I would say it is very easy to expect a child like this to do well in everything and to be mature. A child with such pronounced strengths may have corresponding difficulties and I would say a good memory can mask quite a lot of things. She sounds much more rounded than I was at that age, though!

I would also say it’s easy not to develop good study habits if you have such a good memory and that might also be something to keep an eye on, as there will come a point where diligence is important too as studies get more serious.

In some classes she has extension exercise (for all kids who finish early) but she says when she finishes them and there's still time she 'zones out'.
Actually on reflection at parents evening, the one negative from the teachers behaviour wise is that she'll chat to her friends, often distracting them when they might not have finished. So not zoning out always i guess...

It sounds like she is already doing lots of good things to help keep her brain occupied, OP! (And I find with my DD - v similar - that she might whinge about trips to museums, galleries etc., but actually it all goes in, and she ends up thinking about it for a while afterwards.)

You don’t need to get her a label or special treatment, but you could see if in school she can be quietly given more extension work to stop her zoning out or distracting others? At the very least, a conversation with her form teacher/head of year around how to make sure she’s being taught to her ability wouldn’t go amiss. There are very few actual G&T programmes left in the state system these days (the Tories got rid of pretty much all of them); but schools ought to be incentivised by their results scores not to let children with potential underachieve. (What kind of school is your DD at?)

We're abroad in a British international school. The only real provision is for maths but her performance in maths is very up and down - definitely her weakest subject (I feel it'll come together later for her and probably good for her to be challenged academically). No provision in the other subjects.

Can she not bring a book to read when she's finished?

She always has a book in her bag for the bus ride and I'm sure she could but I'm also sure she won't as she wouldn't want to draw attention to herself!

Do you have any suggestions for how teachers could stretch your DD more without drawing arrention to her? Could she be given a work book or sheets to complete so she can discreetly get them out and them work on them when she has finished her class work? If she is too self conscious to get out a book to read, would she feel comfortable doing any other work that others are not?

If she's abroad in an International School then I'd assume her cohort will be reasonably bright and have parents that are supportive and motivated so she wouldn't stick out as much as if she was at a failing school with an intake from low socioeconomic groups where the parents can't support their children's education as much as they'd like? So just keep providing extracurricular enrichment at home making sure she does some activity that challenges her so she learns resilience. But that really that should be true for all children of whatever ability. I think an NT bright kid will be fine, there are plenty very intelligent kids who go on to do very well as adults without any social issues. Basically just don't worry.

Also, my son is a year older and learnt all the flags because of spending a lot of time watching 'Jack Sucks at Geography' and 'Country Balls' so she might just have a secret youtube habit.

Maybe. Given that there is a bit of a behaviour issue too when she starts chatting to and distracting her friends.

A decent school will very quickly get to know which kids are very bright. They are valuable property because secondary schools live and die on exam results. DC1, who came out of school with 4 Astars at A-Level, did definitely get special treatment. No harm in pointing out how gifted your DD is but they probably already know because knowing this matters so much to them.

DC1 did get extra opportunities that were only made available to the brightest.

Could it be eidetic memory? I have this and was always top of the class, if I was paying attention. Very much bottom if I had no interest. Im late diagnosed autistic, not saying your dd is or that intelligence = neurodivergence but memory also doesnt necessarily = gifted presumably. However really useful and when combined with analytical skills and critical thinking, unstoppable

She's definitely NT. Her sibling is ND and late diagnosed so very aware not to make that mistake again!
She says she wants to be a doctor and if she does continue on that path, her memory will stand her in good stead.
But I agree with others that resilience and the ability to work hard as well as emotional intelligence are far more important once you're smart enough to get the required grades.
I just worry having missed the signs with my oldest with their learning challenges not to do the same with dd with different challenges/needs.

I wonder though. All the teachers talk about how bright and quick she is and her projected gcse trajectory is all 8s and 9s in the academic subjects but I think she flies below the radar and that's where she's comfortable. She's not a kid who wants to stand out.

Its also not eidetic memory. She remembers numbers, words and patterns for literally months.
In the same example with the WiFi code, we hired a car when we travelled. A few months later we go to the same place and hire a car again. Dd tells me 'oh its the same car'. I said 'how do you know? It could just be same model' and she said ' I remember the licence plate number'. I could ask her now, a few months after that what was the licence plate number of the car we used and she could tell me it. But not photographic memory and these things seem to be locked into long term memory with no effort on her part (she had absolutely no reason to memorise the licence plate number).

Actually now I'm remembering that when she was in Year 2, she knew the birthdays of all the kids in her class. She also knew all the dozens of train stations of the light rail system in our city in order and by heart. We just thought she was a bit quirky at the time although that was also before her sibling's late diagnosis so we were more relaxed too

She is obviously very bright and she has an excellent memory. Gifted or not? It's just a label and it doesn't matter.

The question that does matter is whether she is happy and thriving. If she is, then no further action is needed, just keep doing what you're doing. If she isn't, then you need to get to the bottom of what isn't working for her.

She sounds fine as she is. Giving her a label needs to confer some advantage for her .... what might that be? She likes mucking in and being under the radar. That needs to be respected.

Yes, i think you're right.