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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

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Original poster

Is my 3 year old gifted?

63 replies

user2021 · 30/01/2021 14:08

No one I can really ask IRL as I'm worried I'd come across a bit PFB.

My just turned 3 year old (3yrs 1 month), seems to be particularly gifted in mathematics and problem solving. She could count before she could speak. In fact her speech is behind her peers and we are working with a speech therapist to help her along, but her numerical skills are impressive.

She understands basic addition and subtraction, for example: 5+2 or 6-1
And her puzzle solving skills are next level - she'll sit and complete a puzzle designed for 4 and 5 year olds, on her own without any help from me.

She goes to preschool in the mornings and the staff there say she is doing puzzles far beyond her years and loves anything to do with numbers.

Does this sound "gifted" or in the realm of 'normal' for just-turned-3 year olds?

And can anyone point me towards maths apps for kids?!

OP posts:

wardrobesandthebackofthem · 30/01/2021 14:47

Just so you know, no one on MN will ever tell you your child is gifted-there is a knee jerk reaction against that. So I wouldn't place any weight on people saying she isn't.

ASD in girls is often missed because it presents differently. I would research it myself, in your position.

Can she add or take away 2/3/4/5 from any number? Can she share out a larger group of items into smaller equal groups with an idea of how many are going to end up in each group?

If you are going to encourage her interest, Singapore Maths and White Rose Maths are both great programmes. Doodle Maths and Math Seeds/Math Factor are great fun. Twinkl has super resources.

HeyGirlHeyBoy · 30/01/2021 14:49

My ds was like this wrt puzzles. He was doing 4-6 and some 6-8 jigsaws at 2.5. He's a deep thinker certainly but his language was very advanced. At his 2y check the doctor (he had a doc do it as he had a particular physical check that needed to be done as well) did some more advanced developmental checks and said he was at the 48m level (my dh had to ask me what that was!) Now at 5 he's got a very long concentration span and loves to build and draw but he's not jumping out as particularly different from any other 5yo. I didn't do anything to bring him on as such, nothing out of the ordinary I mean, and made a point of not doing early reading etc. I let him play and explore.

Original poster

user2021 · 30/01/2021 14:50

Thanks everyone!! Yea, I'm sure she is just in the upper range of normal, just wanted to check on here as like i said it's a tricky conversation to have with other mums without coming across as up my own arse.

I'd really like to nurture her skills so toy and app suggestions have been helpful thanks!

@TheVanguardSix pretty average for a 3 year old I'd say. She loves art but her drawing/painting is like any of her peers.

OP posts:

wardrobesandthebackofthem · 30/01/2021 14:51

And hit the button has shape/pattern games.

Some of the programmes you subscribe to give daily reports and tell you what age level your child is working at. That might help you to know where you are with her.

I have a child who is very able, although I'm not looking to label them, and it does present its own challenges.

kowari · 30/01/2021 15:00

Does she draw in a typical way for her age? My DS as previously mentioned was good at puzzles, then went on to be very bright with things like Lego (following instructions for 7+ set on 4th birthday). He drew by outlines, not shapes put together. For example at 2 and a half he drew a cat with head and pointy ears then around for the body and tail, recognisable as a cat curled up. I don't know why he drew differently but I've wondered if it was linked.

natalienewname · 30/01/2021 15:03

Sounds like a bright but normal and happy child.

My youngest seems to have a great talent for puzzles (although I don't think she'd spot there was a missing piece straight away) and could do the maths you described at 3. She also had/has very good fine motor skills.

She's now 4 and at school and probably on the less advanced side of things. Some of the kids seem to produce incredibly advanced work...solving 7 letter anagrams, or a whole page of perfect writing about the 3 Little Pigs!! (Granted this is homeschooling and I suspect there could be some strong parental intervention )

FlyingByTheSeatof · 30/01/2021 15:06

My DS at age 2 1/2 was completing puzzles of at least 25 pieces with no idea of what the pictures were. I was told that was remarkable. I didn't take much notice till I realised it was unusual.
His younger DSS age 3 can't put together a puzzle of 4 pieces with the picture

DS now a teen is in all the top tiers and very clever. Annoyingly so as he remembers everything he sees hears and reads

Msgiggles30 · 30/01/2021 15:07

Id say above average but in the realms of normal. I have a child that can add 4 digit numbers, read mumbers in the thousands and do basic timestables - he is 3 but lacks in other areas so we are just concentrating on that. The maths just seems to be a crazy rote thing he has a love for. Some children have never even seen a puzzle but if you do them regularly there is something in the photographic memory. I would just follow the maths if she wants to but focus on the areas she needs rather than worry at this age about challeging the maths.

Mumski45 · 30/01/2021 15:07

Definitely bright I would say but too early to identify as gifted. DS1 was doing 30 ish piece puzzles at around 20 months and has always been good at Maths. He is 15 now and top set for Maths in a selective grammar but not a patch on DS2 (13) who is on a different level entirely and I still wouldn't call him gifted. Just a very good all rounder who reads a lot and uses the language learnt in his conversation and writing. Picks up maths topics on first read and has an excellent memory for facts.

If she is showing signs of being a quick learner then just feed it with as much content as you can. Things like reading to and with her, puzzles, Lego and imaginative play will all 'exercise' her brain and develop a love of learning. I do think that the very early years are important in educational terms but not in a formal sense. More in terms of exposure to lots of opportunities.

FlyingByTheSeatof · 30/01/2021 15:11

All I can add is don't push her in any way. The bright ones seem to read up and learn about what they find most interesting even if their glued to their iPads etc it opens up their world and knowledge

FlyingByTheSeatof · 30/01/2021 15:11

They're

HeyGirlHeyBoy · 30/01/2021 16:41

Another thing I remember about the puzzles when he was 2, my ds didn't look at the box, like I need to, he just followed it from piece to piece and was very good to see the shape and know the way it needed to be turned etc. So interesting to watch. Like a pp, much older lego instructions being followed without a problem but again I think is concentration and intrinsic motivation. His Christmas gift was 9+ large lego set. Now 5.5. Older child, obviously bright but in a different way, has no patience or motivation whatsoever for this type of thing. It's interesting.

GuyFawkesDay · 30/01/2021 18:04

@user2021 My DD is above age related expectations and is an end of July baby so she's definitely a bright little button. She was an early talker too (& hasn't ruddy stopped since!) and has read her way through Roald Dahl and the worst witch.

She's just a bright kod who likes learning and I'm happy not to push her and let her go her own way. I felt pressure as I got a scholarship and I'm not sure which way to lean with her as she gets older but I know she's definitely a clever girl.

I know a gifted boy in her year group, age wise. He's nearly a yr older than her, but is definitely gifted. Moved up a year at school and taking 11+ at 10 to go early. He's encyclopedic on lots of learning. My DD isn't in his league, but then she's also a social butterfly and has lots of hobbies and this boy isn't the same in that regard. Not that it makes any difference: each child is unique as we must allow them to play to their strengths and passions as they grow.

Kittykat93 · 30/01/2021 18:17

Cant believe people saying their child could do maths and read fluently aged 2..writing full stories aged 3..40 piece puzzles ! My son cant write anything..or read anything ..hes three. I thought he was on track with development but reading this thread has made me feel shite !

GuyFawkesDay · 30/01/2021 18:23

@Kittykat93 honestly, they're all just....kids. and early "cleverness" has bugger all implications of success in later life.

Which is why I couldn't care less!!

Sendingasurprise · 30/01/2021 18:33

I seem to remember that being strong at pattern matching and spatial activity is a development phase that pre-children go through. They eventually lose some of those skills as they move to the next development stage. Maybe your daughter's spatial skills have developed a little more because her speech is less developed....as this picks up and takes over, you might find she evens out a bit. Real world counting, sorting, measuring and weighing activities will probably engshe her much more than an app though.

MotherOfCrocodiles · 30/01/2021 18:36

I recommend Dragonbox Numbers- great app

bitliketonyhares · 30/01/2021 18:40

Very similar to my DD. She was behind in speech but great with puzzles. She's now an average but quite bright 6 year old. I would say it's normal.

bitliketonyhares · 30/01/2021 18:41

@Kittykat93

My ds is almost 4 and can't either - don't stress. They're all different and it doesn't effect what they'll be like in later life x

Sendingasurprise · 30/01/2021 18:42

Interesting research on jigsaws and child development.

srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/cdev.13391

kowari · 30/01/2021 18:46

They're all different. Mine had 5 words at 18 months, doing 24 piece puzzles at 20 months. My nephew at 20 months has heaps of words, can count, recognise numbers to 10, say all his colours. Both bright but different.

Alwaysready · 30/01/2021 18:48

Sounds above average for maths but below normal for speach/ communication, kids often have a few tears at that age were they're good at one thing and not at others. Eyfs is all about evening that up so hopefully she'll catch up in her speech. But just be aware (too soon yet) that some of what you say my point to asd. But at such a young age too early to say. Hope it evens out for her.

GameSetMatch · 30/01/2021 19:04

I think it sounds on the top end of normal, definitely not gifted, my second DS was exactly like your description of your daughter but was very good at speaking too, he has sort of reached at good level and then hasn’t gone beyond, see how she is when she starts school.

sunflowertulip · 30/01/2021 19:11

My friend's son was like this at the same age and he is a maths genius, my daughter is the same age as him and is very good at maths but he's on a totally separate level. Remember him doing 40 piece puzzles while my daughter was doing the wooden shapes in holes the same size ones! It's incredible to see. Keep nurturing!

Angel2702 · 30/01/2021 20:08

@user2021

Yes *@wardrobesandthebackofthem*, I scatter the puzzle pieces on the play at for her and she'll immediately recognise all the pieces aren't there and then says she doesn't want to do the puzzles because there are missing pieces.

Her speech isn't great. She is stringing together 3-4 word sentences but they're difficult to understand and pretty basic. She can't yet engage in conversation with me, so I'd ask "who are you friends at preschool?" and she can't (or won't?!) answer me.

I've taken her to GP and also spoken to speech therapist about possible ASD but she doesn't present as such. She's sociable - goes up to other children in the playground and want to play with them, gives cuddles and kisses, loves pretend play and small world scenarios etc.

Girls with ASD often present very differently than boys. Girls are more social and don’t always lack imagination or role play, in fact one of the things picked up when my daughter was diagnosed was excessive role play. So don’t discount it on that basis, if you feel it is worth investigating of course I’m not suggesting she has ASD.

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