Okay folks - I am aware that I may be opening a can of worms here but why does this topic piss so many people off?

[Theclosetpagan]

I mean if someone has deemed a child G+T (or is it G or T) why is it that they seem to be flamed when they post about any difficulties here?

If the label has come from outside the family and the family struggle why can't they post here saying "Help" without people leaping in to say "your child sounds normal to me"

For what it's worth I don't have a child labelled as G+T but am glad I don't given the response some posters get to this topic.

Surely it's okay for some children to be extra bright. Or is it that there is distrust of this label?

Just interested really.

Kerry Mum you are bang on with this..I totally agree and it has mystified me as to why posters take the piss so much, or take such glee in responses like: they do not sound like G&T to me at all, that is totally normal why are you posting.. etc etc

my first thought tbh was that it was jealousy.....

Wrong, LaBoheme, lots of people have high achieving (or whatever you want to call them) children but do not take on board the idea of it being a major problem

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I have never heard of G&T ( apart from the drink of course)- is it something that happens in every school????

I think that's more or less what we all do KM - its called parenting your children

Quite.

I know and know of lots of parents of gifted and talented children (not the 10% dubbed G&T by government edict). Most of the parents spend their lives taking the DCs all over the country to training/lessons/rehearsals/Saturday schools etc whilst trying to earn enough money to help pay the expenses and also trying to raise sponsorship for their child's activities. Those parents probably would never have time to post on MN!

I think it is the 'problem' side of it - imagine someone who had a child who was amazingly good at running. They might post 'Does anyone know any good athletics clubs in this area?' or 'How can I support my son in his running?' or 'Has anyone any experience of national/international level junior athletics for dd?'.

They probably wouldn't come on and say 'my ds is so good at running, it's a real problem, I don't know what to do, it's just as real a problem as other SNs'. Because for a parent of a child who can't walk, that's not going to read well.

KM - your ds1 sounds great, I'm really glad he's doing so well. Obviously I don't 'know' you, and even more obviously, I've never seen you with your ds. But in your posts, you sometimes come across to me as though your ds1's 'gifts' have become synonymous with your ds1 - does that make sense? I'm really hesitant to post that in case you take it the wrong way - you sound a really caring mum, and your ds1 does sound very clever. But I think there is a danger with any clever/talented child that the sense of the child as a person may be lost.

Please don't take offence at that, it's probably just my reading of some of your MN posts. I probably come across as a maniac on here. In general I find a post that says 'can you help with my G&T child?' difficult.

That's true KM but also there is a need to recognise that not every child can or will be good at everything. A lot of the so- called g and t posts seem to suggest that the child should be superior in everything and that to admit any lack of ability and/or interest is an embarrassment or flaw. This gives an overall sense of aloofness and detachment from reality which may well nto be intended and if similarly said to the chidl may set them up with unrealistic expectations. The friend I mentioned below struggled to pass her driving test, she'd never really met failure before.

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but when you access via Actoiv]e Converstaions you rarely look at what the topic is. We had this before SN became a "tick to include" and many responses to the debate indicated that few people looked at the topic before responding. So whilst you may specifically go to the G and T topic as you have an interest, most posters would read it as just another thread and the intended context of OP is lost.

KerryMum - my point is that you won't find too many parents of exceptionally gifted/talented children posting here because they will have less free time than most parents.

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Don't agree with that Lily maid.

But KM, the topic title in itself is divisive. And tbh, if you use Active Conversations then the topic heading is not such an issue - it is the thread title that sticks out.

Why is it divisive? Because who is to judge what is G&T? Parents - this would undoubtedly produce far more than 10% of children being G&T. Teachers - so a child who is G&T in one school may not be in a different school. Their needs don't change, just because their label has. There is also by necessity an element of competition - to be G&T, it implies that you are 'better than most' at something. As a professional musician, I REALLY hate competitiveness in music, and yet it is rampant. Competitive parents, comparing what marks their children got for Grade 5, and then basing some sort of belief in their childs' genius talent on a mark given on ONE day by ONE examiner. And as with anything, things change. Children can progress at different times. Some children will get on very quickly at first, when it is all about the 'maths' of it - press this note when you read this note, but will struggle with interpretation. Others will play beautifully but will find technique hard. A very few will be truly gifted, and their progress will be impossible to stop.

Another reason I think this topic is divisive is because a child who is an early starter - say like my dd who was a very early talker/walker/reader/writer - probably won't stay a long way ahead. She MIGHT. But if she were to be categorised as G&T then, what if further down the line - Y2 or Y3 then she isn't in that magic 10%. Would she be stripped of her label? Told 'you are no longer clever enough to be classified G&T'?. Again, her needs probably haven't changed that much. It's the comparison with her children that have made the difference. I just HATE HATE HATE competition between parents, using their children. Again, not suggesting this is what you do KM, more why I HATE this topic title, and possibly a reason why posters on it sometimes have a bad time.