Mensa

[lemonandginger24]

Hello mums with their children in Mensa.

I'm after some positive and/or negative experiences with Mensa Uk. It's for my DS who is 7 years old. He attends a good state school but his academic abilities in maths and English are a good few years' above the curriculum and finds things very basic. He doesn't seem to have anyone who he connects with at school either. No behavioural issues but we certainly do have them at home, possibly due to boredom.

He qualifies for entry into Mensa but not sure how good their programmes are for children of his age. I've heard they have come on quite a bit the last year or two but I can't seem to find any information on their website. I called them up but they said I need to get him registered first to answer any specific questions.

Would be very grateful for any input!
Thanks in advance.

*no behavioural issues at school but certainly at home he does!

I would try and get him to see social skills as another ability he has to build, just like academic skills. Joining MENSA may be a good start in building his social skills, but there surely must be one or two other children in his school who could connect with him? "You cannot connect with these children because they are not on your level", is not a message you want to be giving him.

Hi @JustRichmal, thanks for your comment. Yes I do think he needs to improve on his social skills. He's more interested in reading and learning, than, unfortunately, his peers. He does get on with older children but the school doesn't allow different years to mix.

He's very much into maths and has deep understanding in astrophysics. He constantly worries about his future and whether he will get quality time with his own family if he pursues his carrier in that field. Both my partner and I spend a lot of time with our children, so his concerns definitely don't stem from our environment. I don't even know how he came to that conclusion.

It's not really about what level they are at but so far we've not really met a child who shares his interests or worries, although he does play football with them during break times. I just thought if there were any groups of similar interests he might click with someone and have a sense of belonging.

Mensa may be a good idea then. Also, if he is into Astrophysics, you could see if there is a local observatory with a children's group. If he is joining in with football, it sounds as though he is doing fine socially at school and is mixing in with play. But I can see how meeting like minded children may be what he wants.

Dd too used to prefer to mix with older children. I think all children do. She was home educated for a short time and learnt to mix with children both older and younger. In the end I was more proud of her ability to make sure younger children were included in their play. So a group where there is a mixture of ages may be good for your ds. I always did think the school environment where children only mix with the same age is an odd and unhelpful one.

I don't know about any particular programs within Mensa, however, have you asked the school whether he can join in some classes from the years above? For example, it is common for some high school kids who have a better understanding than their peers in a particular subject to join a college class to work at a higher level as extra curricular.
Have you looked into private tuition?

Personally, with my son, since he is advancing very well without intervention at the moment (same areas as your son: maths, english and piano) we just teach him at home, and have been looking into private tuition as an added extra to challenge him more and get the extra mental frustration out.
But when it comes to nursery, social events such as taking him to soft play areas, parks or play groups, though he prefers to interact with adults and older children, I try to encourage him to interact with children his age too. I would suggest to my son to help the other children, or show them something etc. The reason I do this is because I feel - for children who are gifted and far beyond their peers - it can often be an isolating experience - especially when they are not building upon these social skills.

What a shame children can't interact with other year levels. My grandchildren atttend a P to 12 achool now and interaction is encouraged.

In Australia, we have active groups for gifted and talented children. Activities, outings and competions are organised and friendships are made. Science, astronomy, history, chess and other games, book clubs, nature walks are all available. Parent help is welcomed. Is there not anything like this in the UK? If not, see if it can't be organised privately. Some groups hold regular barbecues at places of interest. Bring a game sessions break the ice and activities and outings can be organised with guest experts. Here, libraries offer private spaces for free. No one is asked for proof of giftedness. The rule is if the children are interested and participate appropriately, they are welcome. A group can start with two and then grow.

Also the universities organise work shops and camps in the holidays. The children have to be recommended by their teacher for these.

Soccer, and other after school activities can provide opportunities for friendship. Gifted chilren can and do make friends with average students who can be very interesting people and great fun. Sometimes a shared interest, like your son's soccer, helps social interaction develop naturally. Organising playdates is a good step forward. A soccer based party in a park with a real soccer coach is a great ice breaker and gives you a chance to get to know other parents.