Choices for my son

[darlingtonhouse]

Hi there, I'm not sure whether my 6 yo (Y1) son fits into the category of "gifted and talented" as he's not been tested, but I'm wondering whether anyone else had similar experience with their children.

He's interested in many areas including science, maths, English, geography, music, sport, but his main interest is astronomy and chemistry. He's also obsessed with numbers. His knowledge is quite deep and has read most kids books (DK etc) out there and watched youtube videos, and enjoys answering many KS3 questions on his keen topics.

He's a very high-achieving child, and although currently in Y1 his teacher tells me he works at a higher level and is more like Y3 in English and maths (difficult to comment on any other as they are not being assessed). He attends a very good state school at the moment, but obviously they will not teach him secondary school level chemistry or physics at school. Would transferring him to a private school give him chance to learn more about his obsessions? Or would it be better to keep him in the same school and get a private tutor? In terms of stretching children, how much do private schools do to help them?

Would appreciate any suggestions. Thanks so much.

Just bumping this thread for you, @darlingtonhouse.

@JoMumsnet
Ah thanks so much! I'm new to Mumsnet and not sure if there's many parents out here or whether there's any other place I could post.

DS2 has always been advanced in science (and to a lesser extent in maths). We made the decision to keep him in state school and have not regretted it.

His primary school was very good about providing differentiated work. In Y4, they gave him a Science SATs paper and he scored well above expected level for Y6. One of the LSAs had previously been a secondary science teacher, so she did some 1:1 KS3 science with him and the local secondary school allowed him to visit their labs to do some practicals.

The secondary school again provided differentiated work, and he found the new 9-1 GCSE sciences engaging enough to keep him happy. The school provided plenty of STEM enrichment activities and he supplemented this with IsaacPhysics and extra reading (Feynman lectures) and videos (Khan Academy) in his spare time. This year (Y12) he has taken part in a research project (organised via school) analysing data to identify targets for the James Webb space telescope.

There are loads of STEM enrichment activities which state schools can access and also quite a few which children can access themselves online.

[quote darlingtonhouse]@JoMumsnet
Ah thanks so much! I'm new to Mumsnet and not sure if there's many parents out here or whether there's any other place I could post. [/quote]

A warm welcome to the site to you .

We can always move your thread over to our Primary education topic where there's usually more traffic. If you'd like us to do that at any stage, just hit the Report button and let us know.

He may be super bright but at six the important thing is to let him explore his interests whilst ensuring he masters literacy and numeracy not forgetting allowing him to be a kid! Also be aware being ahead at 6 doesn't mean ahead at 11 or 18, some kids simply develop academic skills younger.

Dd was in her school's g&t programme and it just meant more advanced maths and reading books and a special trip or two. I've met quite a few tiger mums over the years and parents who basically stole their kids childhood to hothouse them - it never ends well. Let kids be kids - I never even made mine do their homework

Ours all managed fine in a very good state primary. I think differentiation, supporting less able peers and extracurricular activities are key to stretching and mathematicians often benefit from instrumental lessons- do you have a piano?
Get him cooking as that is basically chemistry for beginners plus it’s a good life skill.
There is also a need to focus on things his not so good at, to build on strengths but also to provide challenges in areas he finds more difficult.
Lots of reading, construction sets like mechano, sewing even.

How lovely, JoMumsnet! ❤️

If you can afford it, I have no question that private school is better for advanced children. But it may depend on each school.
For stretching children, it can be done at home, we never got any tutor, just used online resources, but they will progress if they are passionate.
State school, it seems to vary from what I read on MN. Some do great job, some are more interested in bringing up standard rather than stretching most able.

If you can ask more specific question, you may get more useful advice on this board, OP. This board is small, but have many nice helpful posters who are happy to help others. I had so much help over the years.

Thanks all so much for the responses. So good to know that your DCs have thrived in the state system. It’s been difficult to talk about this offline as it seems like none of my friends are having similar type of child and don’t want to come across as boasting or a pushy parent. I've mentioned it a few times to both sets of our parents but they think we're just being too pushy.

@TheFirstOHN thanks for the tips on books and videos. Your DS sounds like he’s been taken care of really well! Wish mine was in a similar set up as yours. Glad he’s happy.

@stucknoue you’re right, I don’t want to hothouse him and make him unhappy but in fact he is much happier in Y1 than last year now that they’ve started academic sides of things.. also wanted to ask, you say your DD was on the g&t programme - is this something the government used to do and is no longer doing?

Up until last year DS has had social and behavioural issues and he had to be investigated by paediatricians (not psychologists) for ASD. Turned out he didn’t have any developmental problems. They didn’t suggest g&t at that point.

Since he was a toddler he’s always had very retentive memory. Even now for his weekly spelling tests all he needs to do is look at them and score full marks. He also hates repetitions of any kind so that can be a challenge sometimes.

@CherryPavlova DS’s into rubix cubes and chess, also loom bands to keep him occupied. He would love cooking and sewing! He also loves watching tv. We’ve recently set him a challenge of overcoming one of his fears by taking some lessons in that area - we didn’t push him but encouraged him to at least give it a go. He wasn’t keen at first but has built so much confidence since. Yes, reading. Again, not too keen reading to himself, but at bed time, we spend some time reading, mainly me reading to him books other than school readers which he enjoys.

I want to join the g&t group on fb but don’t want my friends to judge me. Has anyone joined the group? Is it of any use?

@JoMumsnet
Thanks! Have been receiving some great tips, I will stay here for now

@iwantittobesunny
Yes so grateful to be here and receive some lovely advice. Interesting about tutoring and online resources - yes DS also getting so much out of Dr YouTube some of them are incredible!! Guess we can select the good ones and watch them rather than trying out various tutors. Also costs nothing that way!

As for affordability, it may be a stretch for us to put him into independent sector but willing to spend it if it will do good for him. What we don’t want to spend on is on the “state-of-the-art” facilities as in our view that’s not the top priority for him, and we’d rather spend it on extracurricular activities if we can.

So my question would be: which online resources have people found useful for a 6yo to learn relatively complex science/geography/politics (DS enjoys them but is up to me to give him the info)? The real challenge is to find materials that doesn’t have too much text and more diagrams, as he is very visual. His room is full of scientific posters!!

Another question - are there any summer courses for young science enthusiasts? Not the “fun” experiments type of courses but the ones which are more in depth?

Thanks again.

Never joined a group but then i think all children have gifts and talents just my children’s gift was being fairly bright. My friend’s child’s gift is to radiate sunshine wherever she went but she had Down syndrome, so it was never going to be her intellect.
In truth I wouldn’t overthink his brightness. Bright children stretch themselves even in boring classroom activities. Bright children can find their own stimulation and challenges.

My eldest went all through in state system including comprehensive and came out well adjusted, resilient, interested in everything, had amazing experiences and had 6As at A level under her belt. Grade 8 violin through state funded music scheme too. In terms of extracurricular at primary she did violin, sailing, choir, swimming, dance and drama. We were keen to improve her coordination as she is quite severely dyspraxic.
Plenty of children in independent sector don’t fair as well.

I could have written this post when my now 14 yo son was at primary. He was completely obsessed with science and I really wanted him to have the chance to do some proper science.

He's in year 9 now and although he still likes science he's developed other interests that came from trying to give him a breadth of experience. I know it sounds wanky, but if you have a kid like this I think it's really important to not let them get too narrow too soon. And to make sure that they become decent all rounders too. That said, he's never shown any musical ability at all and artistic ability is zero! But he's very practical and very much into maths and the theory of maths, coding and programming, and skills toys. And is completely obsessed with Japan and Japanese culture. He's teaching himself Japanese, makes sushi, watches anime and also does a Japanese martial art. None of which came from me....all his own interests that we are now immersed in.

We didn't do anything special at all, he went to a normal state primary and got into a superselective grammar without tutoring (we did send him to a mock exam thing the week before the 11 plus so that he was more familiar with the exam). He likes school but not as much as I expected and still a lot of his extra curricular learning is driven by him and he probably puts more effort into this than his school work.

I see it as my job to make sure he reads, knows how to wash up, do a load of laundry, manage money and all the other stuff that he's at risk of not doing because his head is in the clouds!

The point is, if you have a naturally able child the school isn't as important as you think... They'll do well anywhere, of course they will. Rather what's important is giving him opportunities, fun, and not neglecting the normal life stuff.

Thanks all again for sharing your experiences.

@CherryPavlova agree that all children are gifted in their own ways! I have another son - DS2 is still small but his presence just makes everyone smile. DS2 doesn’t show many of the things DS1 used to when he was his age but he gives us so much joy and a bit of a break from DS1’s somewhat intense personality

@DonPablo I can’t agree more about getting them to learn basic life skills and letting them explore their own fascinations and not let them get too narrow too soon. DH is better at encouraging these things than me - I’ve always been quite narrow in my field (and successful, but not an all rounder) so I’m learning a lot from you guys.

I haven’t got DS1 started learning an instrument yet, partly because I’m worried he will hate practising and I don’t want to push him as he’s doing quite a bit already. @CherryPavlova did your DD practice the violin every day (did it come naturally to her or did you have to remind her)?

@darlingtonhouse She nagged to do it from age four having watched Vanessa Mae on television. She started on the tiniest of violins with County Music Service and unfortunately practiced far too frequently in the early days. Ear splitting stuff to smile through.
It was sometimes erratic and other things had priority sometimes but if there was a concert or exam coming up she was a bit obsessive. She did small group lessons until aged 12, then individual lessons at school. She also went to music centre every Saturday and played in training/ county orchestras and chamber group as well as school orchestra. She took up viola as well but never really bothered with that in same way. She’s 26 now and still plays in a hospital orchestra and has set a hospital choir but music was only ever a hobby for her.

I think it’s about finding the right instrument. My son hated violin and never concentrated. He did piano reluctantly (whereas the girls messed about with piano all the time). When he moved to Bassoon at 9/10 years old he transformed though. Suddenly he felt special and in demand. He loved it and found it easy to play after violin so made rapid progress and went from ‘forgetting’ his lessons to having additional lessons because they needed a bassoonist in the training orchestra and to prepare for County Orchestra.

@CherryPavlova that's lovely to hear! Music is a special gift whatever level they are at, but to achieve grade 8 is quite something. I'm sure patients at the hospital love listening. Good to know your DS found an instrument he enjoys playing. I'm not in a hurry for my DCs to start but would love them to pick up an instrument at some point in their lives.

It Can't Be True 2!: More Incredible Visual Comparisons (Childrens Reference) www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0241239001/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_CythDbVFEM6NQ?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Books like these on amazon (cheap if 2nd hand) are cool.