Being told my child is 'gifted' Where to start?

[MrsRyanGosling15]

My dd is turning 7 soon. She is 1 of 4. My eldest is a smart kid. A in his 11+, at a top grammar school. Needs to put his head down and work but a bright boy. The other 2 are both younger than my dd. So no real comparison there.

My dd has always seemed to us to be different somehow. She just knows things and I don't know how. Her reading is fantastic. She reads a dictionary every night to help her learn more words. She is forever looking things up and learning, online, in books etc. Its like she reads things once and never forgets. If anyone can't find something in the house, doesn't know the answer to something etc the running joke is we all ask her. And she always knows!

Another example, the eldest was doing multiplication. She asked what it was. He told her briefly, in under 5 min. She sat for about 30min practicing over and over and now she can do it. Even numbers in the hundreds. When we ask her how she can she just says if she is shown it once she just needs to think hard and she gets it.
Same with division. I still struggle with division!

Since nursery her teachers have said she has something special about her. Now in p2 we have been called into a meeting with the head and her teacher. They have told us in all their years of teaching they have never come across a child quite like her and that they have never seen a p2 with such a level of intelligence. I don't really know what to do. They said they gave her some work from p4, then p5 up to some p7 work. I knew she was smart but the head is telling me she answered some of the questions from a mock transfer test and the English section especially was excellent.

Moving her ahead is 100% not an option. She is a shy, quite child. She prefers playing with 1/2 friends rather than big groups and loves the friends she has. She does seem to get board/frustrated as she has homework 4 nights (They all do) she does it all in about 15min on a Monday.

Any ideas where we take it from here. I don't want to tell anyone in RL for fear of being 'that parent' School are happy to continue giving her work tailored to her alongside what they have to teach in the curriculum.

Is there anything we should be doing at home? Any extra resources we should be getting? She would love to do work at home as she is always making us do tests on her e.g. spelling tests, maths tests. I knew she was very smart but always went along with the thinking, if she is smart she will.learn but the school feel that we all need to be working together to push her.

Any ideas, help or advice would be great.

My advice would be to just bumble along as you are. Give her some extra things when she wants them and have ‘resources’ (books,games etc) around for her to use if needed and give her opportunities to try things but don’t go all out trying to stretch her all the time. Whatever you do you aren’t going to make her less bright than she is.

Puzzles like traffic jam?
Games like carcassonne?
Logic puzzles, crosswords

Red she is 1 of my 4 children. She is the 2nd born. Sorry, sometimes with my dyslexia I think things read ok in my head and then on paper they don't make sense. The 11+ Is our version of the transfer. We are in NI. I mentioned that and my son just to say this is all I have to compare her to really.

"We refuse to let her do any 'work' on a weekend. Its all just for proper family time but this really annoys her"

I think it might be good not to divide her time so strictly into "work" and "other things": if she has that kind of mind it will all be fun to her. Don't give her the idea now that "proper learning" is only about worksheets and key stages and tasks set by a teacher. Proper learning is all around her and it's fun.

Give her good books to read. Classics are often good as the language is advanced but the contents are often less "adult".

Encourage an interest in nature.

If she takes to the piano she might also enjoy composing.

It will be good for her if you can get her used to finding her own work to some extent: making up stories and writing them if she has that kind of imagination, drawing pictures, making nature projects, writing music, reading recipes and planning meals to cook, researching her local area.

You hear so much about bright children being bored, not only doing classroom sessions (which I could understand), but also at home. Teach her how not to be bored.

My son's been doing year 9 maths and he's year 5. I'm not sure if he's classed as gifted as I've never had that discussion, his school simply put him forward for it and he works at a higher level with a couple of other children outside of the classroom during normal maths. Can your child's school do similar?

Hi OP.

Taken me ages to find this for you, it's old, but I can recommend.
My Dad was a mathematician/ engineering.
He bought us this game one Christmas, I'm a bit rubbish at it, but my siblings were good.
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Lazy-Days-Quantum/253523308537?hash=item3b072aaff9:g:GvsAAOSw6SValEso

Sorry, I was in work earlier. Just reading through all these replies now. Thanks so much everyone for taking the time to reply. So many helpful posts. I think I will let school forge ahead with the 'work' side of things. The maths, English, the worksheets etc.
I'm going to buy her a lot of new books. Starting with Little Women. I'm an avid reader and always have been, despite the dyslexia. My mum just reminded me I could practically recite that book when I was young as I read it over and over
I've realised I can actually teach her so much without being a "pushy parent" The apps, languages, chess, nature walks etc she can learn so much without sitting at a desk. And we will be exploring working on failure too as well as keeping up with the mindfulness and yoga.

I read through a few threads before I posted this and half expected to be told she wasn't anything special and to get my head out of my backside I'm so touched to have so many well thought out posts and pm's. I think she is pretty awesome too!

Something I remember coming across years ago, was the idea of education and learning as being a pyramid. A higher pyramid has a broader base. With a child like yours, if you help her establish a really broad base of knowledge / skills / experiences, she will have the basis to go far in whatever she ends up wanting to do. Looking at the world around you, letting everything be a learning opportunity, is great. Let her see you being prompted by her questions to go and look things up too.

I agree with ensuring that she remains engaged in family activities, but don't think that maths and puzzles and problem solving can't be fun and leisure activities! Especially if she has periods of time when school doesn't always stretch her. In my first couple of years at school I would apparently come home, get out a maths workbook, and say "now I can do some work" ... (the workbook was one I'd spotted in a newsagent and badgered my mother to get me)

If you can get her started on another musical instrument, make it one that would enable her to play in groups in the future - I think the combination of piano and a "social" instrument is great. There might be subsidies around that could help you access that for her.

Awesome sounds a good word!

It might be worth looking at CTY Ireland. Some of the courses they run are open to kids outside the south and are pitched at primary age.
www.dcu.ie/ctyi/index.shtml
Also
www.giftedkids.ie/

My youngest brother was like this. We didn’t know it at the time but he was doing elder’s brother’s maths homework at the age of 3 (brother was nearly 10) in exchange for M&Ms! The focus for him was motivation. He found things really easy and still does. So I pushed for him to get martial arts / sports training to learn resilience and discipline (against our parents wishes; it caused huge fights). But it worked.

In England we have fee paying academic primary schools like those my children went to which they started at 5. The advangate of that is everyone in the class is bright so the stanard terms to be higher but I am not sure if that is available in NI. (We both worked full time so could pay fees for 5 children)

I second the piano and other instrument (orchestral, traditional) but perhaps not until she is 7. She might liek music theory too - I taught my twins for that and it was good for exam practice at a fairly young age but older than she now is.

Make sure she doesn’t get bored at school. Bright children are just as likely as stupid ones to get more and start misbehaving or getting depressed (usually both ime).

I would suggest making an extension plan with her school. If they can’t accommodate her look at the private sector.

Raising gifted children can be very challenging and keeping her busy and engaged will help prevent problems from arising.

Be careful about selecting reading for her. My parents tried to force me to read (perfectly good) books that just didn’t interest me. It didn’t go down well. Also be careful with giving her work to do yourself. My mother tried this with me. Again it really didn’t go well. Bright kids deserve a personal life too. It’s usually best to maintain the enforced learning vs natural learning division between school and home.

OP your posts have made sense throughout, don't let one person's minor misunderstanding bother you.

Lots of lovely ideas here and sounds like she has a good variety in her time. The only thing not mentioned although I know you are restricted on how many activities they can do, do you think she'd give Brownies or Cubs a go? I always found it structured in a very unstructured sort of way and could be good for her socially. Might be something one of your other DC could get into as well.

As a bright but not gifted kid I always relished time to sit and read books of my choice rather than what school suggested and I also enjoyed the puzzle of learning a language (helped having grandparents abroad) so they are two easy wins, if you see what I mean.

I wouldn't stop her from working at weekend as it's not work for her. I have a high 1Q...not gifted but l need to do puzzles/ challenges everyday as its my way of relaxing. I do them before work everyday as it sets me up for the day. Relaxes my mind . My ds is the same . He often plays chess etc first thing in the morning to warm up.
Also baking/ cooking/ art stuff to use that part of brain. She sounds fab.
Remember emotionally she will be only 7 so her emotional maturity around games is tricky as others expect a lot from her.

Sounds like you've got great advice about following her interests but also widening them where possible.

Your explanation of her quirky behaviours and anxiety reminded me of articles I've read about high functioning girls with Asperger's. Girls are better at 'faking it' so often don't get diagnosed. No idea if that would apply to your daughter but something to be aware of in case you have any concerns.

Hi there, I love your posts about your daughter. Isn't it normal to not want to be late? Being late is quite a complicated set of circumstances, there are so many consequences and sometimes no consequences. If you could draw a diagram of what being late entails, it would be quite intense and detailed. Anyway, I think a reward is in order! I am an arts tutor and I am lucky enough to be teaching one to one a similarly gifted 11 yr old. Outspoken confident, the perfect student really, not afraid of anything, and loves a challenge. Art really is such a great channel for embracing the scope that your child exhibits, you must surely have some kind of anxiety about letting it go to waste? I sympathise. We make poetry sculpture drawings and work through skype currently. Sounds like you have a child that has alot to offer. Best of luck with it all...

www.uktutors.com/tutor/1524923520

We were told that when a child finds things easy they don't develop the same coping skills for not being able to do things, dealing with frustration etc. So we should try to encourage new skills. He is good academically so we got him to play cricket. It is great as he is not a natural (hmmm rubbish!) so it has helped him learn that he has to try and practice and also he can appreciate that his class mates can't always get stuff in the classroom but they can catch a ball!

Hi, we have a T&G DS, to be honest there wasn't much we could do except encourage his interests. Check out some of the Olympiads.

How is your little girl getting on now OP? I read the thread and she, and you, sound amazing.

@MrsRyanGosling15

*However being gifted in maths and music is a firm indicator of a gifted child*

I honestly had no idea of this, thank you.

Yes it is, mine was the same. They are usually pretty good at other things too.

You're right to let her be a child like others but if she really does want to do 'work' things, let her, as long as it isn't all the time.

Sometimes schools put a lot of pressure on pupils who are exceptional in any way and that can get them down so keep an eye on that.

Hopefully she will do very well and be happy. You sound like a great mum.

Science experiments at home, or baking. Show her how to build stuff out of cardboard boxes, elastic bands and pins (I'm thinking bridges and catapults more than houses and castles - more of an engineering challenge). Check with your local library (maybe later, obviously) if they have coding for children. Or show her how to code using Scratch online. Check out chess clubs.

Sports such as Karate are also excellent for learning series of movements, good for memory and confidence. And because it's usually in a larger group there's no pressure (to start off with, then there is the fighting but that comes later).