Does anyone elses kid like making friends with adults?

[RoboJesus]

Particularly childless adults. I guess its because they don't treat them like children. It's kind of an odd situation and I couldn't imagine myself doing it as a child. But I guess gifted children do often have more in common with an adult than someone their own age?

The problem with googling reports on child psychology is that you can usually find another which contradicts it.

www.theguardian.com/education/2017/jul/25/no-such-thing-as-a-gifted-child-einstein-iq

It's not uncommon. The adult is more likely to indulge the child by listening to something that doesn't interest them, is more predictable and therefore safer, than a peer group.

It’s true, so you should always be careful where you look. You will find many Guardian articles that contradict yours, but then if you’re looking to the Guardian for thorough, well-researched reporting, well, you’re in the wrong place.

I gave that article because it’s a basic rundown of the situation we’re actually discussing here. If you want more information I suggest you look up some academic papers, perhaps those referred to in the studies mentioned in the article I posted, or the many others available online that will, overwhelmingly, back up what I’ve said.

Oh, and the author is plugging her own book. Hardly going to be balanced is it?

And your article doesn’t even contradict what I was saying. What was even the point? 😂

Having a contradictory view pointed out has obviously upset you. I do apologise. People do tend to look for information which supports their view of the world and dismiss other things which does not agree with it.

I just have this theory that genetically "gifted" children are not that different to other children and that giving them the impression that they are "special" individuals who are somehow different (really meaning better) will turn them into pita adults.

I hate how this poor poster is continually treated on here. It's ridiculous.

Please do not worry. Yes, being laughed at was rude, but I am an adult and would not post if I found it so upsetting.

DS1 used to far prefer the company of adults to that of other children. He's very bright (was on G&T register at primary) but also has SEN that took a long time to be diagnosed. TBH one of the earliest signs was that he couldn't play with children his own age appropriately - it wasn't really a 'good' thing. This has improved a lot as he's got older and got help with social skills. He still chats to adults happily (he's 13 next week so in his mind he is now an adult who knows everything ) but he also has good friends his own age and can get on well with new people his own age too.

My friend's son is incredibly talented academically, but was diagnosed with autism after nursery became very concerned at his lack of interactions with other children. He'd just point blank ignore them and only speak to the staff - he couldn't play with other 3/4 year olds at all without shutting down, it was all too confusing for him.

"And your article doesn’t even contradict what I was saying. What was even the point? 😂"

Is it just me, or Iwasjustabout started to sound very similar to OP?

Irvine, feel free to do a search on me. If you have nothing better to do. You’ll notice one basic difference is that I’m happy to provide research (or articles linked to research) that back up my viewpoints. And I haven’t flounced off yet, though I’m likely to do so soon if this is the level of discussion.

Though while we’re at it, you sound a lot like JustRichmal. Even when I was agreeing with you you seemed to need to find ways of carrying on arguing. It’s a wonder why anyone who doesn’t believe giftedness even exists would come onto the G&T thread and start disagreeing with absolutely anything anyone says.

I just have this theory.

Good lord. Ok so, what you have is a hypothesis. That’s not the same thing as a theory. You have some vague notion of something in your head. A theory is as follows:

“A scientific theory is a well-substantiated explanation of some aspect of the natural world, based on a body of facts that have been repeatedly confirmed through observation and experiment. Such fact-supported theories are not "guesses" but reliable accounts of the real world.”

Google is actually a very useful tool for research! You should spend some time on there reading up on the things you’re trying to disagree with then come back with a well-constructed argument. Then we could have an actual discussion that is more than you saying you just reckon something.

Go on, accuse me of being the OP and being “upset” because you are incapable of engaging in an adult conversation.

I will give it one last try, but I am not a psychologist and am only going on the now numerous threads G&T forum.

Academically your are doing an excellent job of raising your dc. However the world is changing and very few professions rely on quirky individuals working in isolation. Your dc is going to need social skills. Even if it does turn out they have ASD (which I'm not saying is a given), there is so much help to improve social skills now.

Surely it is important to you to have a well rounded adult when your child grows up? Constantly living with the idea that he or she is more gifted than the vast majority of people they meet is not going to give them that.

I suspect this will end like all the other threads, where people reach out to engage and you just ignore and start another thread. This shying away from interacting could point to ASD, in which case your job as a mother will be even more difficult. Even if it is not, we all go through times when we are more stressed than others and from your posts, this could be one of them. Try talking openly to a close friend or relative. They will know you better than some random strangers on Mumsnet. There is lots of help out there and the gifted and talented forum on mumsnet is perhaps not going to be the most helpful place to turn.

By the way, I shall take sounding like irvineoneohone as a compliment.

Thank you for pointing out my use of the word theory, and should I ever write a scientific paper rather than a post on Mumsnet, I shall take your advice.

To be fair it was less of a hypothesis and more of a wild arsed guess. (is that a scientific gradation)

Academically your are doing an excellent job of raising your dc. However the world is changing and very few professions rely on quirky individuals working in isolation. Your dc is going to need social skills. Even if it does turn out they have ASD (which I'm not saying is a given), there is so much help to improve social skills now.

This by JustRichmal makes a very good point.

I was one of those quirky intellectual children who felt more comfortable conversing with the professors who visited my parents' house than making friends with other children.

The difficulty is that there are hardly any jobs, especially not jobs involving research, which don't require a combination of whatever talent you have with the social and organisational skills to get on with people of various types and persuade them to come up with the funding for your bright ideas.

Or to put it differently: if you want an interesting job where you make the most of your talent, you don't need less in the way of people skills: you're almost certainly going to need more.

I was not "a natural" when it came to that side, I could have done with more help. I was fine with the academic side, top marks and 10 foreign languages not a problem. But it would have been enormously helpful to have been shown that getting on with people who were not exactly like me was a skill just like learning German irregular verbs and that I could get there by practising. Instead I was taught to be almost proud of what I now see as a lack of skill, because it seemed to set me apart, and that was not helpful. Nobody taught me to be proud of being unable to tie my shoelaces (possible dyspraxia); they just showed me how it was done and encouraged me to keep persevering. Not saying I do a great job of it, even in my 50s, but at least I can more or less keep my shoes on. Something of the same attitude would have helped with my social skills.

Cory thank you for your comment.

I wonder how many on this forum have had a similar experience. I too sometimes have the feeling that socially my shoe laces are coming undone

Oh, thank you Iwasjustabout, I feel so privileged to be even considered to be sound like JustRichmal !

This one again??

By the way, we have finally signed up to Brilliant(known the site for while, but never really got to it), and it's great. Thanks for the recommendation, Richmal.

DD says "Yeah, they're not terrible." That's the biggest compliment she can give an adult. She gets on well with her 28yo DB, but he's quite childlike.

I love your username, PhilomenaDeathsHeadHawkMoth. Brilliant.

Thanks. I was PhilomenaButterfly, but I've name changed for the Halloween competition. I'm not on the shortlist.

irvineoneohone glad you like "Brilliant". We have not been on lately due to half term. I watched Numberphiles though a few times and that kept me happy