Does anyone elses kid like making friends with adults?

[RoboJesus]

Particularly childless adults. I guess its because they don't treat them like children. It's kind of an odd situation and I couldn't imagine myself doing it as a child. But I guess gifted children do often have more in common with an adult than someone their own age?

Irvine, I think that’s really dependant on the child, their age etc. Gifted kids often prefer the company of older children too. This is because of social issues for some but for others there just aren’t children their own age who share those interests, especially not as deeply, so they have to look elsewhere.

Young children can be very unpredictable too which is another reason some of these children like older kids and adults. Again, that’s really dependent on their age but I think the OP’s kid is 5?

So, do you really believe a 5 years old can form truly equal relationship with an adult, Iwasjustabout?

I get the argument that OP's child is in different level of gifted compared to most of us, but if so why does she keeps on posting on MN where she never finds anyone as profoundly gifted as her dc's is? There are other parents' forums, especially made for parents with gifted children.

If he really is profoundly gifted there’s no point doing the old, “ I know a bright child and they’re nothing like you describe”. Very, very few people here will have ever spent any reasonable amount of time with a PG child

Look, no matter how PG a child is, at 5 years old it is simply impossible for them to form a true, equal friendship with adults. They simply don’t have the social nor the emotional intelligence or even life experience that is required.

Irvine, no of course it’s not an equal relationship. Did she say it was? There’s give and take in any relationship but of course any adult would prefer adult conversation. I think it can be hard for some parents of gifted children to remember that they really are still dealing with small children when those children make incredible connections, are so intuitive and knowledgeable in certain areas. But then a second later the child is rolling around the floor laughing at a daft joke in a cartoon. They are just children of course. That’s where the problems generally lie though. They can’t relate to children their own age and yet their relationships with adults can’t be wholly fulfilling either.

I don’t know why she keeps posting here. It’s very unfriendly here. Thing is, I would find most of her topics quite interesting and enjoy a discussion except that it always deteriorates within about 4 posts then she disappears. I’m beginning to think she’s a MN employee sent just to start people frothing. If she is a real mum of a PG child she must be very stressed and lonely and defensive, so I do feel sorry for her.

She said:

I guess gifted children do often have more in common with an adult than someone their own age?

I think that’s true.

Children with ASD (particularly Aspergers) tend to do this.

I used to do this as a kid (I would have counted as gifted).
Its not ideal actually because adults generally prefer the company of other adults.
Its also a bit of a safeguarding issue, depending on the adult. I'd keep an eye on this OP and try to encourage friendships with kids as much as possible.

OP I've been following your 'interesting' threads for a while and think maybe there's more to your version of your 'highly gifted child'. Yes they could well be bright but they could also be given a diagnosis of ASD. Rather than just looking at their 'superiority' I think you'd be doing your child a huge favour if you accepted and helped them through any difficulties they might have. You seem to thrive on getting all this negative attention on here without a name change (that's your own issue) but it'd be best if you opened up properly on here (or in real life to your own family and friends) and listened and acted upon sensible advice given to really help your child in ALL developmental areas.

Children with ASD (particularly Aspergers) tend to do this.

There are lots of characteristics of gifted children that are often mistaken for ASD. Conversely, gifted children sometimes do have ASD or other conditions. That’s called being twice exceptional and occurs in about 30% of gifted children.

looney she has tried under other names too..

Iwasjustabout, The reason why OP's thread always end up in the same way is because of her attitude, nothing to do with other posters here.
They can be really helpful and understanding.
I have received so many help over the years. I really don't have any negative outcome from posting here. Difference is I am willing to take in others' opinion and listen to their suggestions. OP isn't.

Children with ASD (particularly Aspergers) tend to do this.

Yes mine is like this. He has some cracking conversations with adults about all kinds of topics. But he’s not G&T because his academic work is well below par.

I think adults are just more tolerant of his slowness and shyness so make more effort to put him at ease.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat

I’m beginning to think she’s a MN employee sent just to start people frothing. Your hypothesis is interesting. Look OP's name Robo Jesus. I almost agree with you.

It is uncommon for a 5 Yrs kids trying to make friends with adults. Almost everyone would have the experience.

Irvine, I’m happy threads have gone well for you but I’ve seen a lot of unnecessary nasty stuff directed both at the OP and other posters here. On one of her threads someone compared OP’s child to a serial killer. A 5 year old. I don’t see how that’s ever called for.

Yes, I am aware of nasty posts, but it's inevitable on open forum like this. I did have them too, but it will decrease if you seem genuine.
I have had others to come and defend me as well, which is such a great feeling that you get people to know you enough to help you in horrible situations.
You can choose to ignore nasty irrelevant posts, and people can report and get them deleted if it's really bad.
But OP choose to ignore anything that doesn't suit her. It's totally different.

I agree, Irvine, and I think it’s a shame. As I said, I would have enjoyed the proposed discussion but it wasn’t to be. 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP some ( most?) children have strengths and weaknesses. Being good socially , by which I mean listening, supporting and understanding one's peers and associates is the most useful talent and skill one can have for life imo. Many gifted children , are on the outside of group dynamics particularly if they have no sibling group..This is an area that any child can be helped with.it won't always work perfectly but a bright child can learn the social rules. When you say that a gifted child feels more at home with adults , I am immediately wondering whether said child is being encouraged to put as much energy into socialising and teamwork as they are at maths or whatever.,Orchestra, choir, Beavers, cricket, football etc are really good for this . A pet that comes with responsibilities eg chickens, dog, pony is also helpful for looking more outwardly. (I am aware OP's child is tiny still but am thinking of the future)I was a bookish introvert and understand that group activities aren't appealing to all but I have also observed many very bright children finding school rather miserable over the years despite excelling academically which suggests to me that the social side was the problem.it makes me sad.

I have expressed so many time over the years, that it's a shame that OP never use MN as it should be, place for support.
Her dc is only starting years of school life. There are so many years that she can benefit from others' help on here.
She never change, at least for few years. I am sure I 've known her for at least 2 years under various name change.
Hopefully, she will change her mind and decide to be more respectful towards helpful posters and engage with others.

That’s interesting, Irvine. So her child would have been only 3?

I’ve been on these boards for a few years now but I only noticed her recently with the grade skip debacle that MN seems to be obsessed with. Still, I only really notice user names if they say something that really leaps out at me.

I think the op’s child was 2 years old when I first noticed her posts, she’s been here a while.

Hahaha I knew it would be you @robojesus 😂😂😂

A child ( no matter how gifted) does not have more in common with adults as opposed to children their own age. Socialisation is about far more than intelligence....it's experiences, maturity, life stages etc.

I would be very worried about any adult 'making friends' with a child.

My 10 year old dd seems to get on better with adults and sometimes struggles with kids. I put it down to her autism

"That’s interesting, Irvine. So her child would have been only 3? "

What do you mean? I have known her since her child was a toddler, 2/3 years old, now 4/5 years old 2 years later.

I am always in between wanting to help and be sceptyical about her attitude, because I do believe she is starting multiple threads because she wants help. But it just become so boring, and do upset some people too. I am one with quite good tolerance, but makes me angry too. Let alone a lot of people who don't know her at all.

Best result for OP is just move on. Go to PP forum or something else.

As other posters have said, the children who prefer socialising with adults and older children are often the ones who are not very mature in their social development: it is easier for them to socialise with people who are going to make allowances and be kind to them than with peers who are going to expect equal treatment.

I was one of those children myself, but gradually caught up as I got older. Looking back, what would have helped would have been if my parents had encouraged me to think of social skills as something you can get better at by practising, like the piano or swimming.

This article explains it all:

educationaladvancement.wordpress.com/2014/08/01/friendship-and-the-gifted-child/