so, if you have a clever little one and DON'T push him or her in the way they did on child genius....

[oops]

Message withdrawn

Why does he not play in the playground after school?

How old is he? IIRC not 7? From what I see lots of children seem a bit lost socially until 8 or 9. Does he have girl friends? Dd1 makes a speciality of boys that sound similar to your ds - do you remember Bruno? And she has another one now - very brainy and a bit of a weed (in a lovely way). God knows why they are friends with her as she is amazonian and not brainy [fond emoticon].

I meant after the party at the softplay place, all the other boys were larking about together on the way to the car park but ds is a bit oblivious tbh. Nothing tragic, but it makes me sad. Ds's favourite type of person in the whole world is a nice, bossy, athletic little girl! His two previous best friends were Rosie, very bossy, rather theatrical and jolly, who went to a different school and whose mother dropped me as a consequence, and Esme, bossy, great runner and climber, who moved way out of London. There doesn't seem to a be a girl in his class who is quite like this. He is drawn to one bossy girl, but she is also the class delinquent so not over keen to encourage this particular friendship (honestly, she is a very, very naughty girl and ds is easily led). The beauty of those friendships is that ds is completely overawed by their physical prowess, and their admire his brains (think Miller and Monroe ) and their bossiness forces him to interact. I miss those girls a lot.

And he's only five Enid, so I keep hoping he will find his way when he's a bit older. He'd love your dd, I'm certain of it. He doesn't care if his girls are super-brainy, he just likes 'em big and sassy, to quote Some Like It Hot

Not that I think your dd is unintelligent!!! Eeek!

aha

shame dd1 fits that bill perfectly

does he have a, gasp, nintendo ds?

Dd1 has made random friends all over the place with hers

that should read

shame, ....

(I am not ashamed of the fact she fits the bill in other words!)

No he doesn't...is it a good thing? I know nothing of Nintendo. Ds is quite good on the computer.

they are fun! and a real crowd pleaser

Will investigate... thanks!

i think it does get better for non sporty boys as they get older,and they all discover a wider range of interests. My ds sounds just like yrs Aloha-although he does not have dyspraxia.He sticks out like a sore thumb at school,but he is quietly proud in who he is , this wasn't the case when younger and the boys just wanted to play football and fight- he just couldn't join in and was lonely.He has far more friends now,who seem to like him because he is a bit different to them,he is certainly not unpopular.I know that I'd much rather have a slightly eccentric little boy who has a wide,wide range of interests than one who can alk about nothing but football.We have never pushed him but he justs likes learning and discovering stuff,he did once say something along the lines of" I know i am a bit different but that's ok", Aaah !!

Not done this before so probably not following the thread really but I watched the programme with horror. At the end of the day I would like my children to happy and confident. You know when one of your children is different and years ahead and it is not a blessing. My eldest was reading at 3 but actually now 13 is doing well but bright not gifted, outgoing and musical. My seven year old is following in his footsteps, well rounded and normal. My middle child, who incidentally was a middle child before he was one. He is years ahead and like yours, hates football etc It has been a struggle and there was one moment a couple of years ago when all his frineds were playing cricket on the village green and he had his head in a book (fine but this is ALL the time) so I said look, if you go and joing in for 15 minutes I will give you £5. He did but my husband was furious. We have made loads of mistakes trying to mould him to be more sociable and like the others but it gets easier as he gets older - for us to accept that he has his interests and different things make him tick, he is not unkind and doesnt behave badly, he is just not what you expect from an arty, drama type family like ours. The problem we have is that the school that is fine for the other two is not for him and I just feel that they should all have the same opportunities but I know that he won't be happy at the (very good) local comp - he needs more. Sorry this is so long and whingy...guilt comes with the job of being a Mum doesnt it? He does greet people and make and effort with a few pople now whereas as a small child he wouldnt even look adults in the eye so progress has been made. I have always said that all children really need is a lot of love but understanding them for their own individual selves is important too. Glass of red needed now!

Great thread! Have been wondering about the same thing since watching the programme the other night and DP and I were speaking about this just last night - I suppose Ive a question for more experienced mothers than myself.

dd is our first (shes 16 months old today) - since we've no one to compare her to we have always wondered if she is (sorry) an "average" little girl or way more intelligant than the "norm" for her age -

she has sat, crawled, walked before the "norm" (but I know gross motor skills are not a reflection on intelligance) but she also spoke very young (imo) at 4 months and now she has an abundance of words including "mama", "dada", "nana", "alva"(heraunts name), granny, grandad, dog, cat, car, tree, flower, baby, book, yum yum, bottle, bird, dolly, ball, bed, santa, hello, hiya, bye, no, yes, light, up, down, in, out, im going to get you, I love you, shoe, sock, hat, wow!, twinkle twinkle, up above the world so high.., (she understands the meaning of all her words - im sure there is more - will prob think of them later) she can count to 6 (really count things), say her alphabet as far as G, she understands a huge amount of what we say (if I say lets get ready for bed, she'll undress herself,if I say get your coat,hat,doll,book etc.. she'll go and get exactly that, shut the door, open the door - she'll do it, at her CMs the cats are not allowed in the house while dd is there and cm told me that when dd was 14months she ran down the hall and told cm that "shadow cat is in") she tells me when she goes to dirtys or wets herself (and knows which is which, will say "mama poo or wee wee").....

Anyway so sorry for being so long winded or taking over but we just wondered,really don't want to sound like im boasting but would really value other mothers opinion - does she sound to ye like she is at an average development, really intelligant or just a bit of a fast learner?

I found parts of the program a little distubing to be honest - the little 3 year old seemed to be such an adorable, well loved child and I think his parents were handling things quite well but the family that hosted the party when the little girl passed her exams disturbed me a little - just didnt think that the kids were being just kids and seemed way too much pressure regarding study..

thanks girls

I agree, the kids were fine but the parents, some of, were frightening. I really don't know but she does sound way ahead. The thing I found was that the boys who seemed ahead pre-school actually averaged out and the one who didnt seem particlularly ahead rocketed through everything at school and is now way ahead of his 13 year old brother - probably no help to you. One funny thing I remember when the eldest was 2 and we went for what was then a two year check with the health visitor - he had just woken up and was very grumpy so would not talk, she asked all kinds of questions and he would not respond..she kept asking me if I was worried about his language and obviously didn't bleieve me because he just grunted at every question until the very end when she said she would put her duck puzzle away then and he said "actually it is not a duck, it s a mallard because he has a green head!" I would say ask a health visitor but in my experience they are usually frilly collard unhelpful women (sorry..I am sure there are some nice ones) but as long as she is happy I wouldnt worry. Sorry this is not more help - you forget so quickly what they were doing at each stage, I wish I had video'd them more.

Did not watch the programme (thankfully from the sound of it!!) but I would say give your child what they need and ask for. May be different things - they may need extra activities and ask for reading!!

My ds learnt to read at 3 from dd and loves being with older children. He is reading really well now, but then so is dd - reading year 4 books in Yr 1!! But then I think that is becasue she was taught proper phonics so never had to 'waste' time learning lots of different words by the 'whole word' method. Ds learnt phonics too, from her mainly, so he has little problem. I buy them lots of books to read, but they also swim, dd goes to Beavers and they have a piano to play around with (dd is learning).

I don't think either of mine are exceptional but they are above average so i just encourage what they like. DD insists on doing her homework straight away on Friday night and both love playing with numbers!!!

Just go with the flow and ignore looks from other parents, you certainly would not want to stop them learning if they want to!

Oh, Bink, just seen the football suggestion; didn't want not to reply. It sounds interesting - DS1, who's 8, has suddenly developed a keen interest in football, but he's never chosen for teams etc, and is somewhat down about this. I don't know how poorly coordinated he is, if you see what I mean, but he's definitely not good. (I'm sure my DSs are not as bright as the other boys on this thread, by the way, but DS1 is quite eccentric.)

DS2 is Not Interested In Football and Actually Is Not Interested In Any Sport.

oops, i would definately go with your instincts for your DS. My ds2 is very bright, and always has been - i introduced subtraction to him at 3 - just as an experiment and he grasped it straight away - i have 3 other boys and none of them were nowhere near ready for such things at that age. fortunately my ds2 also loves sport (he's going a bit cool about his 'cello sadly now he's at senior school)but we haven't pushed him at all - see it as more of a marathon than a sprint race and i really wonder if some of the little boys who have been really pressured since reception at his school will still be doing so well at sixth form and uni.

Just as an update, ds is just about to start doing an after-school sports club (organised through his school) specially for the dyspraxic/significantly unco-ordinated, run by a specialist contracted-in team. If it works out well I will try to get to know the staff & see if it can be expanded beyond the link to ds's school.

I think if your child enjoys learning do all you can. If it is competition with other children to be the best don't bother. There is a long way to go and each child develops differently. E.g. The hare and the tortoise thingy. Don't push too much! If a child is quick when young doesn't mean that others don't catch up at a later stage and take over. I have seen so many clever children lose it all when a teenager.