Very difficult toddler - very bright - help?

[Wildswimmer123]

Hi, my daughter is 2yrs old and has been very high maintenance from the start. Very emotional, stubborn, cried a LOT. Her language is way way ahead of her peers and even kids 6 months older and we're starting to think she's bright. I guess I'd also like a positive reason for the last 2 really hard/challenging/awful years. People comment on how difficult my daughter is/was. They don't understand why she won't join in with group activities, why she isn't easily settled by simple baby techniques they try. Recently she made up a pretend friend. She gets VERY upset by music or singing, even just a couple of bars. She says that crying babies are upset and need a cuddle. She sees a shape that looks remotely like an upturned mouth and cries because it is 'sad'. Is this familiar to anyone? Am I looking for something that isn't there?

She's ultra sensitive? She has a high level of emotional intelligence??
You might get better answers by posting in parenting.

FWIW neither of my children were like this, nor were the 3 other children who I knew as babies / toddlers and who have since turned out to be highly able.

That doesn't mean she isn't going to be highly able, its just that you aren't writing that she's started counting, or recognising simple written words, or spent an hour successfully working out how to disable all the child proof locks on the kitchen cupboards.

Your dd remind me of my ds.

He is only 7, so we don't really know if he is truly highly able or not yet.

But he used to be like this:

Cry when we went to the church and heard organ music.
Cry when he saw a beautiful sunset.
Never joined in with other children and happily played on his own.
Couldn't stand baby crying, he ends up crying as well.
His speech was really advanced, although he was selective mute.
See the shapes in wall papers and get upset.

But like Var says, he has also shown other things, like interest in letters, numbers, and working out how to open stair gates and cupboards, generally very inquisitive.