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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

ridiculous pressure on high achievers.

79 replies

OhYouBadBadKitten · 11/05/2015 22:07

Just want the opportunity to rant please, without it appearing like a stealth boast, which it really isnt.
dd is in year 10. Target all a*s. Only now this doesnt seem to be good enough for some of her teachers who are putting pressure on her to aim for 100%

she has a mfl speaking thing soon. Dropped 3 marks on her last one. Her teacher has told her she should be aiming for full marks. Its batty! If she makes a single mistake she will have 'failed' their expectation. Its across several subjects and yes, she is bright, but she is a human who makes mistakes like we all do.

How on earth do I handle it? We've spent much of her life trying to rid her of the idea that she needs to be perfect and weve suddenly reached this.

OP posts:
TooManyHouseGuests · 13/05/2015 17:17

An obvious solution is to arrange more than one evening to fit everyone in.

noblegiraffe · 13/05/2015 17:49

Where would you cut teachers' other commitments in order to free up the hours to do extra parents' evenings? We are only contracted to work 1265 hours directed time per year.

escondida · 13/05/2015 19:35

In 2 yrs we never once had a parent's evening at DS's fee-paying school. In spite of phoning them up & all sorts of efforts.
I'm not suggesting that was good practice, of course. You see why DS left.

howabout · 13/05/2015 20:39

Not saying every parent needs to see every teacher, but I think the assumption that able students are less in need of a meeting is flawed.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 13/05/2015 20:54

Maths degrees at Cambridge are all about a "Merit Mark" where your merit mark is

2* no of marks plus 3 times number of betas plus 7 times number of alphas

You get an alpha if you get 75% of the marks and a beta if you get 50%.

It was well known that a disproportionate number of females got 2.1s whilst males either got 1st, 2.2s or 3rd because females were perfectionists who tried to get the full marks but only got through a tiny number of questions whilst males would move on. (Sometimes too quickly.)

The perfect personality is one who hits he balance nicely between "dabbler" and "perfectionist". Probably true in real life too!

OhYouBadBadKitten · 13/05/2015 21:51

We did wander topic a bit didnt we :) in an ideal universe they would be in classes of about 20 and the teachers would have all of the time they needed. Its not where we are at though. Time just cant be magiced up. It is frustrating though. Dd is going in with my phone number and instructions.

Thats interesting Mumof2yk.

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TheFallenMadonna · 13/05/2015 23:10

Not able students howabout. Students who are making good progress. An able student not making good progress would be high on my list of priorities.

Hakluyt · 14/05/2015 06:30

It's an interesting reflection on the Mumsnet perception of schools/education- the assumption that the only children making good progress will the be more able ones.......

Hakluyt · 14/05/2015 06:31

OYBK- I would email the teachers you particularly want to see.....remember you don't have to tell your dd you've done it..........

OhYouBadBadKitten · 14/05/2015 07:52

oh, if only her school would emerge from the dark ages! It seems to be school policy not to do things by email. So frustrating!

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OhYouBadBadKitten · 14/05/2015 07:54

I suppose we could say that dd and many others lare not making good progress in some subjects as they are reaching the ceiling and not able to move on if only the curriculuum is taught.

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TheWordFactory · 14/05/2015 08:12

Indeed kitten.
Progress is a slippery concept and can't just be judged on how someone manages the NC.

Asking pupils who are achieving 98% to focus on getting 100% is not meaningful progress.

MsDragons · 14/05/2015 18:40

I'm having a similar issue with dd1. She's also in year 10 and predicted all A. In exam week they did last year's GCSE papers and she got A in everything except RE, so with a year to go she has no further challenge other than repeated revision of stuff she already knows. I don't think it's the fault of the teachers though, its a problem with the curriculum that isn't designed to cope with outliers from the norm. Lowest achieving pupils are not catered for either Sad

As a teacher I am constantly aware of providing challenge for the very top end, but it is very difficult to stretch the 3/4 pupils at the top at the same time as keeping those at the bottom from tuning out. I can see why some teachers find this a task too far for their own sanity.

TheFallenMadonna · 14/05/2015 19:14

I also view this from the perspectives both of a parent and a teacher. I'm pretty sure I view my son's curriculum experience differently to his teachers, because my focus is solely on him, whereas his teachers balance the needs of another 30 odd students just in his class, plus the overwhelming demands of performance measures, of which I am also only too aware. Progress is very clearly defined for teachers. As I said earlier, a very able student in my school does have a layer of enrichment over and above the standard curriculum, built into the timetable. But it is a luxury in straitened times in Education, and while we are judged on the provision we make for our most able, the overriding judgement comes from exam results.

MsDragons · 14/05/2015 19:35

We have a layer of enrichment in our school too, but the current year 9 are the last cohort to have it available, the school budget can't stretch that far any more Sad Its a real shame. Dd1 has never had any provision over and above being in top set in her school.

howabout · 14/05/2015 19:48

I just wanted to say that if I have an issue I want to address at parents' night regarding my able and progressing dd it is probably not to do with her meeting expectations or being enriched. It is far more likely to be about whether she is happy and thriving as a person - this might be connected to how she perceives she is being pushed as in the case of the Op or might be a concern regarding interactions with her peers.

In terms of her long term prospects and ability to meet A level expectations for the school I think these are valid concerns. Also emotional well-being of pupils is definitely a part of my dds schools' Ofsted inspection.

The way I read the Op I understood that like me she was at least as concerned about her dd as a person rather than an academic being.

morethanpotatoprints · 14/05/2015 19:51

She should aim for 100% though, everybody should.
The pressure comes if they are bullied into doing more or feeling rubbish if they don't achieve it.
I don't agree with targets though, so I guess I'm not the best person to answer this. Grin

TheFallenMadonna · 14/05/2015 20:08

Emotional well being comes below exam results for OFSTED! However, it does tend to be important for schools and teachers, which is why we have encouraged the OP to talk to someone at the school.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 14/05/2015 22:06

and I will do so :) For me the most important thing by far is that dd comes out as a happy well adjusted person. It doesnt really matter if she doesnt fill her potential in every area - and in her best area, though its been a bit of a muddle along the way, she has been fully differentiated and thrived. I want her to leave as a confident young woman, who has friends and who likes herself too.

in the mean time dd has persuaded the teacher we would most like to see into seeing us at the parents evening.

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Mistigri · 14/05/2015 22:08

Why should everyone aim for 100%?

Children should be encouraged to do their best, within reason - bearing in mind that to err is human, and that teachers have a responsibility for the psychological health of their students as well as their intellectual development.

Plus, uptight kids who never take risks because they are afraid of making mistakes are not maximizing their personal or intellectual potential.

Quite aside from that, marking schemes are very often counterintuitive and even erroneous, resulting in marks being lost for answers that are unexpected, but not objectively wrong.

rotaryairer · 15/05/2015 06:29

Mistigri

"Quite aside from that, marking schemes are very often counterintuitive and even erroneous, resulting in marks being lost for answers that are unexpected, but not objectively wrong."

DS lost a mark in his science when he said that eye colour, like hair colour, can be genetic or environmental (he was thinking David Bowie, tattooed eyes and eye damage).

He's dyslexic so perfectionism simply cannot be an issue for him. Being underestimated (targets too low) is his problem but then that's another post....

LimeFizz · 15/05/2015 06:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheWordFactory · 15/05/2015 06:54

I believe that perfectionism is the enemy of success.

I also believe that the issue for DC at the top of the ability curve is usually resources.

Whether a student gets 98% or 100 is nothing to do with teacher targets or school league tables.

It's to do with teachers being spread too thinly and having no time, energy or resources for the outliers. Especially if they are tiny in number.

That's one reason I wanted super selective education for my DS. I wanted a critical mass of like ability peers so that the lessons are geared around them and resources are available routinely.

Eastpoint · 15/05/2015 07:06

Are there other pupils achieving similar marks? My DS is at a school where higher achievers spend about 30% of their lessons on non-curriculum work, eg French poetry, cartoons, books etc. The exam requirements are only what is necessary to receive an A*, they are not what is needed to have an in depth understanding of the subject.

Mistigri · 15/05/2015 07:06

rotaryairer that's exactly the sort of thing I mean - your son is right of course because even setting aside cultural practices, cataracts involve a biological process which results in a change of eye colour, and they are caused partly by environmental factors.

I've seen this type of "error" rather frequently, where bright children introduce unexpected (but correct) nuances into their answer. Some teachers handle this better than others. And it's one reason why multiple choice is a terrible way of assessing more able children.