Is 'gifted and talented' the problem?

[mels66]

My dd is 14 and since the age of 10 has been having 'mental health' issues. It started in year 6 after she was being bullied at school and nothing was done. She was apparently hearing voices and had a breakdown. Seen by CAMHS and appeared to be fine. Whilst at this school she was put on G&T register for english and science. When she changed school at year 7 all semed well until she started with stomach pains(went on for over 6 months fully investigated from IBS to constipation caused by anxiety, back to CAMHS) One frustrated child and parent. This all seemed to sort itself out and now recently she has started self harming and has taken two overdoses. This is due to what she refers as " the idiots at school". She complains that everyday is "shit" at school but cannot tell me why other than to say she is learning as they only get 10 mins work done in 50 min lessons because of the idiots. Her teachers say she is fine at school, her grades are seriously impressive despite all the 'mental health' issues and I am beginning to wonder if the problem is down to her being G&T. She has always been forward since a baby and bears many, if not all of the traits I have found on the internet. I am posting basically to see what your opinions would be and if you have any ideas to help? Sorry about the long post :)

First, I am really sorry. Its sounds unbearable.

I am no expert but surely feeling like a fish out of water over a prolonged period (as long as she can remember) and being mentally unstimulated all day every day (10 mins work per hour) would make anyone feel very unhappy?

Could she change schools?

I taught a little girl of 10 who had a breakdown for similar reasons - school she was moved to afterwards was the one I was at part time; it wasa "Parent initiative" school and the children managed their own learning through projects. She thrived there. II'm not sure such school exist in the UK but I guess it was like a home education group but run as a school.

She might be happier if more in control of her learning environment - self harm is often about feeling out of control.

Thanks guys, we are in the process of changing schools at the moment, she is due to start new one in september, not sure how much to tell new head master?

I'd be tempted, if she's that bright, to try for a bursary at a private school/move to a grammar school area or more academically switched-on comprehensive/home educate, buying in tutors as necessary.

Minor self-harming, suicidal thoughts; each in itself not uncommon, especially with the brightest, and if addressed early can leave no permanent damage. What I know of CAMHS from a handful or so (namely, limited) of parents of DC who were referred is that it's best not to rely on them. CBT (privately funded) helped a little for one child but they had similar problems at uni and that temporarily suspended brilliant academic progress, back on the rails after drenchings of mother's love and some time.

A selective school or an independent school won't necessarily provide the solution. One with strong pastoral care that's genuinely at the foundation of their culture will. They tend to have good results too. Whereabouts in the country are you, mels66? Happy with PM if you're not keen to say publicly.

I would make an appointment with the new head and go through it all, and if needed, repeat with her tutor and head of year. If you don't have the confidence in the school to do that, is that an acceptable risk?

I think it's very normal for a bright child to be frustrated by disrupted classes where the pace of learning is too slow. It really depends on just how bad it is - my DD was in a very difficult class last year and although she's a relatively laid back and tolerant teenager it was getting to her and we even considered a change of schools. This year has been much better, her class isn't the best academically but it's a nice social mix and she has good friends.

Are you sure that no bullying is going on? It is very easy for an academic student to feel isolated in a difficult class.

The MH issues strike me as something different, not necessarily caused by (or not just by) the slow pace of learning. Do you have a sympathetic GP you could talk to?