What happens in your school and what extra things do they do?
DD1 (13) has been nominated as gifted and talented in French for the last two years, however the letter says that only those with multiple nominations actually go on the school register 
I know that the G&T children attend extra sessions and attend events but it feels like they are saying she is pretty good, but not good enough so we won't bother to encourage her further.
Perhaps this should be in AIBU?