Have your DCs ever dumbed down/hidden talents to fit in?

[MiaSparrow]

That's it really. I'm not overly worried as DD's only 3.8, bless her, but just a little bit concerned and slightly sad that perhaps she's not being herself at preschool. She'll come home with splatty paintings, which are lovely, but the kind of thing she was doing at 18 months. And then when she's at home she'll draw and colour in a really amazing butterfly and write b u t t e r f l y really beautifully and neatly underneath. She's SO desperate to please I just feel that she's doing what's expected of her - splatty paintings!

At preschool, she will be distracted by the noise around her; will probably hover between different activities; be in a bit of a rush because she has seen another toy/game/activity and she wants to have a go. It's not dumming down in my experience, it's not trying to fit in, especially at 3.8 yo. It's because of the environment and the fact that when at home, she is probably more able to concentrate and take her time.

At 3.8 though she may not realise that her work at home is considered superior to her work at preschool & that she should be doing the home stuff over the preschool stuff as its 'better'. She may just be joining in with what everyone else is doing & having fun splodging & splatting with no idea that its perceived as inferior.

I agree with jam that the environment will be very different & perhaps the results reflect that. Preschool is naturally noisy & chaotic.

Don't worry :)

At that age it won't be dumbing down to fit it, she's just having fun in a busy environment, so relax & let her continue doing the good stuff in the quiet of home, probably with better facilities - mine was exactly the same at that sort of age & up until more recently, she has never wanted to fit in, let alone try to.

That said, at 12 after years of bullying in a school we took her out of, I've noticed recently in a new school & new friends, she's far less inclined to enter contests or anything that showcases her talents both in & out of school - she's always loved things like that in the past, but at least she still pushes herself just as hard with school work, so I'm hoping she will come round in time