DS in trouble

[hillyhilly]

I got spoken to at the end of school today as DS has been cheeky and disrespectful of teachers and other staff. Obviously this is being dealt with firmly at home where he is already being brought up not to behave in this way. I don't want to be too long winded in defence of myself but my DD also behaved this way towards the end of each school year when she got 'too big for her boots' and ready to move on.
Both of the children are G&T, DS is an extraordinary reader and maths child though his writing is appalling (subject of many other threads), my issue is that I do know his behaviour is dreadful if he is not fully engaged in what he is doing (ie bored).
Now I do realise that it will be a life skill to be able to mask boredom and not entertain yourself by bothering other people which is Ds way but I'm struggling with how to voice the fact that he won't behave well if he is not fully engaged,

I am awaiting paed team assessment for dyspraxia and SPD, so please be gentle with me, but do I fight his corner a little as I wish I had for my DD as with hindsight she was definitely under-stretched and thus misbehaved, though not for this teacher?

Or do I keep shtum whilst continuing to lecture him about how to behave regardless of whether he is enjoying the lesson?

Any G&T parents experience would be gratefully received, I have a huge amount of respect for the school and this teacher and I don't want to appear precious about him but I don't want bad behaviour and thinking he's better than everyone else to continue.

TIA
This is his thiord year in a small infant school, he is 7, Y2, there are no higher classes for him to go and learn in as he has done for previopus years.

Have you arranged a meeting with the teacher? I do think your DS needs to realise he can't back chat the teachers and, in doing so, he will make himself look silly and disrespectful meaning the teachers wont take him seriously.

However, I also think you need to point out that, as he has been to higher years previously, there may be a lot of frustration for him if he is repeating previous work and/or not being given work to his ability.

I think there are two issues here. The first, and most pressing, is your DS's behaviour. There's nothing really to say about that - you know its not ok and you are doing your best to sort it out. Obviously, its a priority before your DS gets labelled a troublemaker.

The second issue is that it looks like he isn't being challenged in the class. That's especially concerning when its only September. It needs to be resolved because whilst some boredom comes with the G&T-in-mainstream-schooling territory, its asking too much to be bored rigid for a year.

The problem is, that although these two things are obviously linked, teachers won't want to hear it.

Can you get a promise from him to behave himself for a week, whilst you try to sort out a temporary solution with the school to get him engaged in his school work. Then look for a longer term solution, once the temporary one is up and running?

Sorry.. I know all these things are big asks, and I won't pretend that I haven't hit solid brick walls when trying to encourage my children's primary to challenge them, even if only once in a while.

I agree, deal with the two issues separately even if you think they are linked.

Your ds needs to know that boredom doesn't excuse his poor behaviour in any case. It doesn't matter how gifted he might be, he must understand that he needs to behave in an acceptable manner, like any other kid, and a lack of challenge is no excuse. 7 is plenty old enough to understand this, and to expect some degree of self discipline!

While there should be no strings attached with regard to the behaviour, you do need to fight his corner to ensure that he is appropriately challenged and I think it's entirely reasonable to talk to the teacher about this. Just don't link it to the behaviour issue because there are plenty of gifted kids out there who don't misbehave and they will assume that you're making excuses for him. (FWIW, I don't think you are, actually, but it could so easily come across that way.)

I think that it's absolutely fine for children not to be challenged all the time. There will be time in class/playground that not every child will be challenged, and even though I have a G&T child I do not expect him to be challenged 6 hours a day! There will be time when a child, gifted or not, will not be challenged. I think that the op should give her ds tools to deal with that more 'passive' time - how to deal with waiting, how to deal with a teacher paying attention to other children in the class, how to distract himself. It's absolutely normal and expected that a child won't be challenged and stretched every minute that they are in class...

I don't expect him to be constantly challenged or stretched. However, he is a difficult pita child if he's bored/ not fully engaged and always has been despite my best efforts over the past 7 years of his life.
I don't think there is a quick fix to his response to boredom though I am well aware that he needs to learn to control his responses, I've sat bored through many meetings, I didn't start poking the guy next to me!!

I'll be having a chat with the teacher in question next week, thankfully he had a much better day yesterday.