Daughter is no longer doing so well academically. Lazy/distracted/not trying!

[whyisthishappening]

My daughter is 6.

Everyone has always commented on her intelligence.
Initially her vocabulary scored at a very high level and her maths ability also was very advanced. Her reading age is high. She did very well in reception.

This last year we've seen a huge dip. She is now average/below average except in her reading.

She comes from a family of high achievers but I don't believe we've been putting high levels of pressure on her. We just know what she's capable of and when she doesn't even try it is really frustrating. I want her to enjoy school but she seems to be developing a very lazy attitude. She wants to play and she's resistant to lessons. She interrupts and won't sit still.

I don't think it would bother me so much if she wasn't bright - it is the attitude that bothers me - I want her to work hard at school, to do her best. I would like her to show her true potential.

I'm not sure what I should be doing. I feel like I'm failing her.

The school has advised various things to practice with her. I am dyslexic but initial tests suggest she isn't. Socially and physically she was behind but she is now doing fine in these areas.

Her behavior is brilliant although when she does occasionally get upset it is very intense and over the top. She will then take a long time to calm down.

School have moved her up and down groups quite a bit this year but now she's mostly in the bottom groups. Her school books show she is capable of good work.

Any advice?

When I read the title of your OP I honestly thought this was going to be a thread about a teenager.
She is only 6 years old, you really need to let her find the love of learning, helping her grow in her emotional intelligence, please don't push her academically yet, you will make things worse.

I might be a little concerned about her being on the "bottom table". DS is dyslexic and was placed on the "bottom table" but he is actually very bright and should have been on the top table. This mismatch led to eccentric behaviour. Your DD could be bored, under stimulated and confused and so is switching off. Also, if she is very bright, this could be masking mild dyslexia - her work could appear to be average or slightly below when in fact she is under-achieving and struggling. Could be way off the mark but just a thought based on personal experience.

Personally I would follow the lead of your DD.

What does she say about school?

What does she like to do at home?

I would keep up with the reading (listening to her/reading to her) and go with anything she shows an interest in.

She really enjoys school and is very enthusiastic about going. She can get very involved and when she wants to talk it is hard to stop her. This is how she interrupts the class.

They tell her to slow down and say she has lots of ideas but struggles to get it written down correctly. Sometimes she just day dreams and gets very little work done. It is very variable.

Garden feature - I think she initially got targeted for bullying as she was a bit different and 'eccentric' according to staff. She has been moved up groups again today. Because of my dyslexia she has been tested but it's apparently not affecting her.

Would these early tests miss dyslexia?

At home she is very full on. It can be quite draining keeping her busy. She likes crafty things, cooking, art, drawing, painting, making books, she makes displays of objects (inspired by school displays), sticking things with glue, sequins, glitter. Her teddies all have names and personalities. Role play games are very involved. They have scene 1, scene 2 etc after last years Christmas nativity.

I find that my bright DS benefits from doing a bit of work everyday, just enough to keep his on top of things. He has issues with perfectionism, hates being corrected and at the same time simply loathes being bad at something.
If he feels he is struggling with school work, he is capable pulling kinds of avoidance techniques. So I do my best to give him a bit of consolidating work everyday (10 - 15 min) so keep his confidence high. It seems to be working! It was hard at the beginning but so worth it.
We are also very careful to praise him for his hard work rather than for him being smart. We hope that he will understand that it is practice that makes his good at reading/maths etc. And if he is not good at something, he knows that he has to practice more.

Another issue with my son is that although very bright, he has below average working memory. Something in your post made me think your DD might have the some problem.

It took a long while to work out that my DS had dyslexia because his reading was always OK. He too was quite eccentric and has been bullied on occassion for being weird. Junior school never understood him and several teachers suspected ASD. He was given a Literacy Assessment Pack which was a school dyslexia test and he passed this. Only a properly qualified person can test for dyslexia. I would recommend doing a Google on Twice Exceptional and Dyslexia. If children are bright then this can compensate to some degree and they can appear to be average or slightly below, rather than very bright but with a learning disability. Your DD sounds very bright and similar to my DS who was always making and doing (still is). Drama workshops have been a fantastic outlet and the first place where he really blended in. As you may know, people with dyslexia can be very creative and have the ability to think outside the box. One of the first keys to finding out what was going on was getting this book out of the library:

www.amazon.co.uk/Dyslexia-dyslexia-dyspraxia-learning-difficulties/dp/0091923387/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1394518206&sr=8-1&keywords=dyslexia+a+parents+guide

Thanks. There's been lots of good advice on this thread. Thanks for your contributions. Will check out the book.

Lots of comments ring true,

1. The bullying,

1. Possible dyslexia (I was diagnosed near the end of my phd but it is mild) - my daughter - if she does have it then it is even milder or shows in a different way. I couldn't learn spellings until year 6 and only just about got the alphabet order by yr3 - whereas my daughter could do her alphabet in nursery and spelling are easy to learn after two or three weeks of initial struggles. I was slow to get reading then it clicked and I flew ahead. My daughter did start reading slowly then raced ahead - but she really loves reading.

1. Praising effort and helping with confidence. I've been thinking of maybe drama lessons but I don't want to overload her with too much.

1. Memory - yes, we both have poor short term memories but she has a fantastic recall of events from when she was a toddler.

How do you know whether she is average/below average etc. I find they don't readily give you this information, just tell you how they are doing with respect to themselves - at least in Reception anyway.

Most kids have peaks and troughs in their education, whether they have other problems or not, don't they? My dd in yr4 was 'well above average' in science and 'above average' in English and maths. Yr5 she was 'average' in everything teacher told me she was lethargic. Yr6 back to top of the class. Maybe she didn't get on with her teacher in yr5 or she was bored or she couldn't be bothered. Never did get to the bottom of it but didn't lose any sleep over it either.
She'll be fine, if she wants to learn she'll learn if she doesn't there is nothing you can do to force them.