2 1/2 year old, exceptionally bright. Not showing this at nursery.

[wedontplaywithelectrics]

That's it really. He's a very sociable, confident boy who never stops talking at home. Apparently he hardly speaks at nursery. Is this an indicator of how things will be in years to come? I feel he's slipping into the sidelines/afraid to be his true self.
It's almost as if he's "dumbing down" to fit in with his peers. (there. I said it)
I just want him to be his true self which is witty, extrovert, creative and full of life.
He seems happy to go to nursery.
Any tips on why there seems to be such disparity here?

OP - how did he come to be selected for the study? What exactly did they measure and who was conducting the study?

Indeed.

My DS between 3 and 7ish was exceptionally far ahead of his peers, we never had him tested or classed as G&T, it all came from the nursery and school, and he was joining in with 10 and 11 year olds for reading and creative writing sessions at age 5. His maths was also ahead, though less so.

He's plateaued, the rest of the class has caught up, and whilst he is still in the top sets, he isn't actually any different to any other children in those sets anymore. In fact his handwriting is appalling!

I am so glad I didn't get all 'look at my gifted child' because my god, how I would look back now and cringe.

I don't understand why people are offended at the OP - this is a gifted and talented forum - why would anyone even be on here if you aren't interested in the topic or have a gifted child around you.

I don't think the OP was saying her son was Einstein and a super genius and all other kids are thickos. I think she sees her sons development strong in one direction, and is worried that time at nursery is leading to a slow regression, or at least not fostering this skill. I would be worried too.

Mostly with research studies they're desperate to get anyone who'll meet the criteria. They also gave us a letter saying all the sensible stuff about different rates of development, limits to tests of two year olds etc..

I don't understand why there's so many people putting me in the dock either..
If I had posted the same concerns but on a special needs forum (after stating my son had some learning difficulties confirmed by a multi disciplinary assessment)tell me please,would I have still been subject to the same level of scrutiny,even vitriol in some replies...?

Very, very different OP. Very.

both of mine are nonstop talkers at home but in nursery they were both very shy, the elder one in particular, it took her a whole year to find her feet there.

I think some of us are trying to work out whether your child is exceptionally bright or whether you are a "deluded, pushy parent". There, I said it.

I see that, Ziggy and frankly I don't see why I should have to give anyone the names and scores of the assessments he took or name the research he participated in.
Pushy parent I am not. Lazy would be a more accurate description.

This is a gifted and talented forum.
He has been assessed as functioning cognitively on the 99th percentile.
Please re-read my original post.
It does not concern "academic" issues, rather some genuine worries about his social and emotional needs.

I'm realising that many of the posters may be here as a result of their children being on the 'gifted and talented' register at school.

To read of a mother writing about their g&t 2 year old may well send alarm bells ringing.

My thanks again to the messages genuinely offering advice and support.

Are you joking, OP?

You are now claiming that this thread was to ask about his social and emotional needs, though you said:

It's almost as if he's "dumbing down" to fit in with his peers. (there. I said it)

Don't backtrack now.

If you have concerns about his social and emotional needs at nursery, why do you suggest that he is dumming down to fit in with the others? That is in your original post, OP. And that's what many posters find a bit... odd? And maybe that you expect him to have a different emotional response from other children to a very important change in his life - starting nursery. He will adapt, and hopefully shine and be happy, but his exceptional intelligence will not prevent him from having similar emotional responses than most other children, which is to take time to adapt, and very possible act differently at nursery/school than at home.

It sets alarm bells ringing because of all the reasons I mentioned before. I am amazed at a 2 year old being assessed as "gifted" tbh, what people fail to realise is the difference between truly gifted and more able than their peers. It's not the same thing.

Juno77 you crack me up

You seem to be enjoying this bashing.

It takes all sorts

It's not a pack forming, OP, nor a bashing.

You have made a mistake.

No one is bashing anybody.

Realistically, if you are posting about a gifted 2 year old, dumbing down because his peers at nursery are not so exceptionally bright, people may ask questions.

People who had exceptionally bright DCs who turned to just be clever teenagers, not genius, because children mature at different rates.

The little buggers pretty much never perform in public, OP.

The real surprise is that your toddler communicated well enough with the assessors you mention for your research study. Mine at that age would have glared grimly at them, commented unfavourably on their shoes on wandered off to unscrew the radiator.

I've worked in early years for many years, and we also have a lot of bright sparks in the family.
dd is bright and doing very well now at secondary school, just started GCSE courses (Y10) She's always been so much more chatty at home, especially with her DBro than at school where I've often heard she's a bit quiet, and they'd just like to hear more of her excellent ideas in class discussions. I think she just has a really good work ethic and a lot of respect for other's opinions. She has said to me "just because I know the answer why would I put my hand up ?" Kind of fair point I guess! - though I do try to encourage her to speak up more as I think the experience of articulating your ideas can help clarify them (sometimes) and building up your confidence in speaking is an important skill too.
I think you were right in one of your earlier posts - basically you can be bright and also quiet, especially in larger social groups.
Time will tell if he stays that way !
Either way I don't think you should worry.
Also meant to add many children are much quieter when they've just started at nursery - taking it all in, and there are a lot of new things to see before you jump in yourself!

or, not 'on'

I never used the word 'genius'

And I understand that children do not develop in a linear pattern

Hey, wedontplay, I don't want to score points here, but I would really appreciate it if you could reconsider some of the things you've said.

As the parent of a beloved, wonderful boy undergoing assessment for the type of SEN you reference in your analogy, I cannot tell you how different your reality is. Your comments on "dumbing down" and comparing your son's intelligence to a lifelong, disabling condition with all its attendant discrimination and exclusion, are ill thought and offensive.

And seriously, if Juno's telling you you're being a wankbadger, after having her arse handed to her on a plate in baby names earlier then trust me, you're being one (sorry Juno :o).

wedont, it's not a pack - more that a group of people are ALL finding your remarks a bit

I think DS1 is relatively bright now (he's 2.5) but heaven knows what he'll be like tomorrow!

Thanks to the helpful posters above. It's nice to hear genuine advice that helps me put perspective on it.

Lots of children and adults are chatty and lively in small groups or at home and quiet in big groups.