What do you do with your gifted child?

[LadyInDisguise]

dc1 is in y3 and is working well well above average, especially in maths.
Until now things were sort of OK mainly because they were doing bits and pieces that he hadn't done before (like symetry etc...) but since the start of Y3, he is getting more and more bored.
That's even though his teacher is always trying to give him some extension work (so exercises more difficult etc...) and is also trying to have the TA doing some work with him on a one to one basis (but obviously difficult to do as the TA is there to support the less able, and rightly so).
The issue here is the fact he now says that he would actually prefer to do something else than maths 'because it's boring and too easy' so is losing his interest for something he enjoys and is able at.
It is also clear that he is also making mistakes because he wants to go too fast and always starts with the idea that 'it's easy'. His fault but also worrying as to how it will turn out when he will finally be in a situation where things aren't so easy.
One thing that he is asking for is to do some 'work at home' and is asking about specific stuff, things he has vaguely heard about at school and would like to learn (usually 2 or 3 years ahead).
I have always resisted from doing that with him on the ground that he will get even more bored at school. And that school will have even more problem dealing with his abilities.
What do you think?

There must be ways of stretching him sideways; using his mathematical abilities without simply replicating the stuff his class will be doing next year.
Either maths itself, or areas which use similar parts of the brain.

As for other areas:

does he play chess?

does he play an instrument? music is very similar to maths in many ways, and has the further advantage of being a useful social skill

does he know how to write music or could he be taught that? my db taught his ds about counterpoint and bought him some software for writing music so he could compose his own- he wasn't much older than your ds at the time and it really did work well for him

how about IT? there are plenty of things he could get into there; again, my db wasn't much older when he got into programming

ime, they forget lots of what they learnt earlier (ok, true with DS1, who had his time tables down perfectly and associated division facts 15 months ago but struggles with many of them now). So no great harm in some extension. Maybe some maths programmes + computer games?

Could you do a 'project' with a maths based problem, rather than standard sums.
This is what d's teacher did with him, was quite good and especially helped with the 'going too fast issues that come with the idea its easy.

Rubik's cube. There's stuff on t'internet about how to solve it- my geeky maths dcs loved it. Kept them busy for months.
Also, google 'fun maths games' . Dh is a computer scientist so he is good at finding strange logic puzzles for them. There is the excellent enrich (or is it nrich?) website..
Lego is also excellent for left brainers...
Tbh I never worried much in y3. We've done a lot of this once dd1 hit secondary. With ds2 we've focused on literacy enrichment as it lags far behind his numeracy. We're fairly confident tho cos we have lots of access to mathematical adults. It must be harder if you have a very numerate child and it's not your thing? Maybe a tutor who enriches rather than goes over stuff he's doing at school would help?
Good luck!

Thank you all for your advice!

At home, I have no issue as such. Ds is a lovely boy who is spending quite a bit of time playing football and tennis, playing with his brother and then doing stuff that are at his level of abilities (playing chess with DP, I take care of the 'literacy' pov as I am comfortable with it. Lots of reading, explanations, talking about books, paintings etc...)

The issue for me isn't about what he is learning (ie the content as such). As adventure said, they learn quickly and can forget just as quickly (as I learned myself as a child).
I am more concerned about what he is learning about learning ie whether it requires concentration and effort or not. Whether he will be able to learn how to handle stumbling blocks (if he never encounter one until he is well into secondary or even after, it will come as a shock and I am actually not sure he will be able to get over that hurdle).
Also the fact that he is disengaging with the teaching at school with all the problems it can create.

So we could do some extension work at home. Both myself and DP have no problem with maths and science so doing some stuff with him isn't an issue. Even in secondary school, I am sure I could 'extend' him at home if need be. But is that suitable to do so?
If we teach him percentages and fractions (2 things he asked about), he will be able to learn and understand them. But then the situation (I am bored, it's too easy) will get even worse at school. Which is something I want to avoid.

I know some gifted children will enjoy school just for the sake of being in a social environment. Ds doesn't because he both one of the oldest in his class and very mature emotionally so he is struggling to really make friends. He is well integrated in his class, getting on with everyone but in his own words, he doesn't have a 'friend' as such. So the 'teaching' environment has quite important for him.

I agree with everyone else, in terms of stretching him sideways.
Something that has worked well with my dd as well, is the fact that a lot of the stuff she does outside of school is totally the opposite of any stereotypical image of "geekiness". She's 13 now, (and yes, bored and fed up in maths lessons) but she can cruise through to the top mark in the year, but she never gets any 'stick' for it, because she (totally immodestly of course ) is "cool" through the other things she does.
You can always study academically throughout life, but I think learning to be socially comfortable and happy with your peers is something invaluable.
I'd really encourage his tennis and football, and maybe throw in something like Scouts to add to the time he spends doing cool things with his peers, and staying a well rounded person.

backforgood has your dd being so bored that she actually stopped trying with maths?
Has she ever said that she doesn't want to go to school because she doesn't enjoy it?

In the course of this year, ds is getting less and less impressed by school in general and is heading that way.
Hence my worry

No, but then maths is only one lesson on her timetable. What I find sad is what I overheard her saying in a conv with friends the other day... (they are friends from Scouts and don't go to her school and were asking if she "was any good at moths and if she liked it". She said, "I'm good at it, but I don't like it anymore. I used to - it was my favourite subject when I was at Primary school, but now I have to spend half of each lesson waiting while they explain things over and over again that some of us could do in Yr4. It's just such a waste of time" I think it's a bit ironic really - they were great at challenging her in Primary school, but her particular secondary doesn't 'set' for maths. Believe me, I've been arguing this for the (almost) 2 years she's been there, and they've just had an OFSTED which has dropped them from Oustanding to Satisfactory, and one of the things it mentions is not stretching the more able, so I'm hoping things will get shaken up in September.

I mean - 'no' to not wanting to go to school - the school is excellent at languages, and other subjects stretch her.
It should be 'yes' to not trying in maths, because, quite frankly, she can do the work they give her without putting any effort in. She's tried raising it on several times, and so have I but there's alimit as to what she wants to do so as not to alienate herself from her peers. The thing is, I guess a good 1/3 (probably at least 1/2) of the group are coasting, tbh, but a lot of dcs are happy to do that.

Have you tried the "Murderous Maths" books? They are a great way of stretching them. I sympathise as only a change of school stretched my son a pond much of the good work was undone when he then came to secondary. Nrich is very good and there are some good games which he might enjoy. My son also dashed things off because he was bored. What does the teacher say? Also, TA are not for the least able but to support learning so don't feel guilty - he has needs too.

Can you ask the school to re-think their approach? At our school they 'set' by ability across the school so mine work with higher classes. They love maths and find it challenging

Can you ask the school to re-think their approach? At our school they 'set' by ability across the school so mine work with higher classes. They love maths and find it challenging

I'd echo the suggestion for the murderous maths books. They are utterly brilliant and do actually teach useful and interesting maths.

Would also recommend nrich It has problems by difficulty level.

He also might rather like playing chess.

When dd started at secondary school I learned that actually it is a complete fallacy that schools can't stretch very able maths kids. dd is finally happy in school - she follows the roughly the same curriculum as the rest of the top set, but working at a higher level from a different book. She then gets interesting extension problems to fill in any extra time and to supplement homework.

Atm school is saying that they are trying their best to stretch him.
I am not sure that the teacher has actually really seen where ds1 is. They did some evaluation in the middle of the year and put him as a 4c (whatever that means!) when she though he was at least one level down (so not even trying to extend him at that level). Any evaluation is done with the 'SATs', that one is of course the one for his year (Y3) so won't be able to actually evaluate if he is at a higher level iyswim.
There is no ability sets across the school.

As a child I can well remember finding some subjects easier than others but as back was saying, there was always some subjects that raised my curiosity/interest. but there doesn't seem to be such a thing with ds :(

I am going to see them next week so will see what they have to say.

If you have done some work at home with your gifted child, how did it work once they were at school and already knew what the teacher was trying to teach (and would do so for the following 2 months)?

Have you/he seen Scratch? It's a simple intro to computer programming, my 5yo can use it but like with any programming, it's pretty much infinitely extendable. And it's often a nice real-world application of logic & problem solving/maths type skills.

Scratch is another splendid idea. Really good stuff.
I've not really ever sat down with dd to do work, I've pointed her at interesting websites and left her to it. In primary school she did spend a lot of time bored sadly.

What I have always done though is not hold her back artificially. You wouldn't tie weights around an athletic child's ankles so that they couldn't run faster than their friends. If he asks how to do something show him.

You've had lots of good advice for extension work which is directly maths related - I would heartily second Murderous Maths, nrich and computer programming all of which myds loved.

What does seem to be worrying you (forgive me if I'm wrong) is this issue of what he is learning about learning and how to handle something he cannot immediately do. Music was mentioned and I can honestly say that learning an instrument (or 3 now!) has been the most helpful thing for us in helping ds (a perfectionist) learn some of these things. No matter how musical you are, mastery of an instrument can only happen with lots of practice, learning things carefully and as you progress, lots of tought about how to make the music 'speak' to the audience.

My ds was very similar in Y3 and it seemed to be a particularly difficult year in terms of learning to deal with emotions. He is still not remotely stretched in maths, but now recognises that he can do this himself and it's just not realistic of school to be able to do this for him. he does have 1:1 with a secondary etacher once a week and I did finally crack and get hime a maths tutor who does lots of experimental problem solving stuff with him which has helped keep his love of maths alive.

Realistically, many bright children will not be particularly stretched until A level, so it's important to learn independent skills to deal with this.Good luck!

What I have always done though is not hold her back artificially. You wouldn't tie weights around an athletic child's ankles so that they couldn't run faster than their friends. If he asks how to do something show him.

Never though about it like this before but it does make sense.

And re learning that school can not realistically stretch him to where he is compare to his peers, that's another very good point.

I suppose I have been trying hard that he would still 'fit in the system' in some ways but that might be completely unrealistic of me.

Thanks you all that was really helpful.

oh yes, music - that is also a good suggestion. It is also a really good way to escape life a bit as they get older.