Siblings

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DD year 1 was classed as G and T in reception and I believe is still ahead of cohort. (DD apparently knows who are the top 5 children in class and she is top!) Especially in reading. She is on same level as ds in year 3 and quite frankly spells better than year 3 DS. DS will ask me how to spell a word and before I get a chance to reply DD will have spelt it.
We have had a few issues with Ds over this. I always try to big him up saying how great he is with numbers and how he has set such a good example for DD.
However, it really bothers me seeing his confidence eroded.
Any tips appreciated.

No immediate tips, but I am interested in this too.

I guess it must be a common problem.

Finding something your ds can get involved in (and hopefully be good at) that your dd has no contact with would probably be helpful. My ds1 will probably always outshine ds2 in academic results while at school but since very creative ds2 has started excelling outside school in another area this is not an issue. They now have a huge amount of respect for each other.

The difficulty for you is that little sister is outdoing her big brother. My boys have a capable little sister too so i understand how tricky this could be. Does he like sport, drama, dance? Can you send him to do an activity that can be all his own?

Give them one on one time.
Without the added dimension of being G&T, there is just a bit of sibling rivalry at play I guess?

DD is 4 years younger but appears just as mature as DS and has such a repartee its scary. She is very able for her age and seems almost clairvoyant at times.
The are not G&T but just top of their class and very academic.
Of course she overshadows him merely because she is the little clever angel.
We fuss al lot about his sports accomplishments and give him grown up privileges such as movie nights etc...
It has helped restore his confidence a lot.

It is really tricky. I have twin DSDs - one (A) was G&T (at least in the particular year group she was in, not like genius) in literacy, raced ahead in phonics etc. Her sister (B) struggled from the start and turned out is dyslexic. It was always incredibly difficult when it came to HW etc (and must be even harder if the higher achieving one is actually younger!). I can only speak for what we did during visits as they don't live with us but we did what people above have said like giving them one to one time. Their mum just spent time telling B she wasn't clever enough but that's a whole other thread

They are 13 now and while they are both doing reasonably well at school, it is B who is hardworking and ambitious while A does her work in a rush and can't be arsed.

It is frustrating and a total minefield. I really sympathise and wish I had some advice to give you but I don't. My own DCs are a bit young so the only thing we have to worry about so far is that DS (2) is already better at jigsaws than DD (5) but I don't think that counts...

Fuzz my db had identical twins in his class. Except one was cleverer, more sport, better at art, bigger...

The "second twin" became very ambitious to do "as well" as her twin, and the "first twin" didn't worry about working because she could always beat her twin.

By secondary age the second twin was doing better in all areas except she was still smaller. She continued with her drive to do better and finished school head and shoulders in achievements above her sister (but still smaller!). So it can actually be difficult for the better one too.

I have exactly this problem and its a nightmare. Ds is a bright boy but has really suffered from immense jealousy and constant comparison with Dd1 who is gifted.
Their relatonship is v bad due to Ds's jealousy. His self-esteem is low and he seems to have decided to not even try at school any more :-(
Finding something for him to excel is easier said than done. Dd is academic, sporty, musical and everyone loves her! The only thing Ds is better at is English (they are both bilingual but Ds sounds more British than Dd due to the amount of English TV he watches!)
Mine are 12 and 10 and whilst I've always been conscious of this, I didn't realise until recently how badly Ds is affected. Do keep boosting your Ds's confidence as much ad possible.

I know its not always easy but I found that competing siblings do need one to one time with parents/mums escpecially. I would try to do separate activities - you can discuss it with them and explian that you want to do things in turns.
Even a trip to cinema, museum, or whatever with his mum will give him a break from the situation.
Try not compare , discuss their spellings abilities in front of either of them .
You dont need to tell children how brilliant they are all the time - may be you are creating this competitive situation yourself? I would just try to avoid the topic and let your DS have some nice time with mum - it will help his confidence .

As it is dd who is younger could you do the 'all girls find it easier to learn to read than boys'.

I don't want to get into boys=maths, girls = languages because I don't believe it is true.

But a little, she is only finding this easy because she is a girl. Seperate them for homework so dd can't call out spellings.

How is dd with maths? Maybe big brother needs to help her with maths homework.

I agree with the 1-1 time as well.

There must be lots of things that ds can do that dd can't, and it doesn't have to be academic. Things like asking them to get things in the supermarket from a shelf dd can't reach. Can he run faster? I'm trying to think of things that because he is older and presumably taller he can do.

Is ds ready for joining the scouts or some other activity? Something dd can't do because she isn't old enough?