Very bright son, but no self confidence

[ChelseaGirl25]

My son is coming to the end of Year 6 at primary school. He is very bright and is particularly talented at maths. He sat the Level 6 SAT paper for this.

I received a letter from the secondary school that he will attend in September inviting him at attend a Summer school aimed at Able, Gifted and Talented pupils.

The Summer School would only run from Monday to Friday for one week during the Summer holidays - just 9am to 1pm.

My son's primary concern is that he won't know anyone else at the Summer School. He's already rather nervous at the prospect of starting secondary school. His other concern is that he doesn't want to miss out on any of the Summer holidays doing schoolwork!

I had to go to appeal to get him into this school as it isn't our catchment one and I really want my son to fulfill his potential at secondary school - not just academically, but personally too.

I don't want to be a pushy parent, but I can see what a wonderful opportunity this would be for him. The school is only inviting 20 current Year 6 children out of an intake of almost 300 pupils.

Should I try to encourage him to participate in the Summer School, or let him make his own decisions? I'm really not sure what would be the best way to approach this situation.

As far as I can see, more than 20 children have been invited to participate in the Summer School and places will be allocated on a first come, first served basis, so it's not as though we'll have much more than the weekend to discuss this together before possibly returning the application form on Monday.

Any help or advice would be most welcome. TIA

Sometimes it's very important to make them push out of their comfort zones.
Is this a unique opportunity? Doesn't really sound like it to me, but it's only a day class, too, shouldn't be too much for him.

I would try to work out some kind of incentive scheme to help him overcome his nerves. Will there be other people at the summer school who will also be at his secondary?

Thanks for your reply AdventuresWithVoles.

I don't think I said that this would be a unique opportunity, but that it would be a wonderful opportunity nonetheless.

All of the other children who will attend the Summer School will attend the secondary school who are running it in September. They will all come from other feeder primary schools in the area. There is a chance that he will know some of the children at the Summer School - possibly team mates from the local football team my son plays for, but no other children from my son's primary school.

I think I will try some kind of incentive scheme as you suggest. Thanks for your advice.

I know exactly how you and your son feels. Dd is very able and has been on gifted and talented register since year 1 and she is now 12 and in year 8. She is very quiet and sometimes shy and lacks confidence although she can do things just like that (clicks fingers). She has never been offered anything like this. Even on asking i was told there is nothing. Also, dd didn't go to the school that all her classmates were going to so obviously she didn't know anyone. That was no problem as she soon made friends with some lovely girls and also some boys!. If your son wants to go to this summer school then i would let him. He may not like it after one day but at least he had a go. There seems to be a bit more going on now with gifted pupils as i can see. Your son may have been able to take his level 6 sats? My dd wasn't allowed even though headmaster tried to get it for her. Good luck to your son.

I'd say have him go at least for a day and see if he likes it. We do sometimes need to push them out of the comfort zone for their own sake. My DD1 was very lacking in confidence and I have really seen her blossom this year - a big part of that has actually come from learning to ride. Right out of her comfort zone, having to speak to new people, learn new skills and realize she is mastering something new. Thoroughly recommend it :)

Wow that seems like a really progressive thinking school, a fantastic opportunity. Why not use his anxiety about starting secondary as a way in - I mean if he does the summer school then that'll mean by the end of the week he'll know another 19 kids starting in September, and all as bright as him too!

Is he nervous about secondary because he think he'll stand out? He'll get to see that there are others just like him.

I would lie and tell him there'll be no homework over that week, I mean, there's not likely to be is there?

Just force him. He's only 10 or 11. Young enough that you can decide for him. Sometimes it's just the way things are presented that work or not - if you say there is a week's course in the holdiay (rather than you have the choice of whether or not to go to a week's course in the holiday. In fact you need not haev told him it was just for bright children - just imply everyone goes and they have to go.

It is going to look very very bad if he doesn't bother to turn up.

I'm with Xenia. Add a bit of fluffy, and give him no choice.

He'll only be nervous for the first ten minutes, then he'll be getting the chance to have fun playing about in the subject he loves best, in the company of like minded kids who he will get to know before term starts. What's to consider?

Agree with Xenia and Madwoman - send him full stop!

Send him. And point out it's a great way to meet other children who will starting the school in September, so he will have friends already when he gets there.

You could say that it will be an easier way to get to know a few children before he starts the big school in sept. Might make it easier for him.

Do you know what they will be doing? Might be worth finding out as prob will be more 'fun' than 'work'?