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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Original poster

If your child is talented, how do you handle missing out on activities?

17 replies

Nowittonight · 20/05/2012 20:42

My youngest is a talented musician, and will be starting with a music college's junior department in September, this will mean our Saturdays are occupied with music.

This means that (what I can think of at the moment):

Birthday parties will be missed
Sports day will be missed

I'm sure there will be more

Although my dc is keen to go, I do think these are important parts of childhood, and at 7 they've not got the concept of what they'll miss.

What do you do about this?

Is it good it's starting it so young, so that it's more a case of not missing what you don't really know?

OP posts:
icarriedawatermelon2 · 20/05/2012 20:48

Sports days tend to be Mon-Fri, I am sure missing the odd Saturday or leaving early isn't the end of the world for a party or two. Go with the flow, your DC will soon let you know if they aren't happy!

ElphabaisWicked · 20/05/2012 21:01

Dd has done drama on Saturday mornings since the age of 6 and us now also rehearsing for a show on Sundays.

She does not for one moment regret any of the parties/school fairs etc she has missed. She missed her school Xmas party because she was in panto last year. The joy of performing in a huge theatre with a celebrity (has been) over rode it.

On the other hand she would be devastated if I were to tell her that her drama and dance classes were to stop.

Original poster
Nowittonight · 20/05/2012 21:37

Our sports day is held on a Saturday, unfortunately they changed it from a friday.

But reassuring to know others hhave found it not a problem.

OP posts:
ElphabaisWicked · 20/05/2012 21:57

Dd hates sport anyway

sashh · 21/05/2012 07:58

I think you are thinking of this as 'more school', your dd is thinking of it as a fun activity.

Would you have any qualms if it was judo / ballet / horse riding / art club? Lots of kids do Saturday activities.

HSMM · 21/05/2012 08:03

DD dances Friday evening, all day Saturday and often on Sundays. Whenever a party invite comes home, I ask her if she wants to go and 9 times out of 10 she would rather miss the party and go dancing.

Original poster
Nowittonight · 21/05/2012 08:03

That's probably true sashh.

I think the other thing why I see it different from the other activities, like swimming/football etc, is that's always been over in an hour or two. And has been local, so even if arriving 15 mins late (always advise host) then we get there for the majority of the party.

This is going to take up every Saturday from 6am-4pm including travelling.

And it's me that's thinking about this and not my dd. Who's just thinking yay music. But she also does love her sport.

OP posts:
Colleger · 21/05/2012 09:52

Having a kid at a specialist music school and JD, I think 7 is far too young to be sending them to a JD. What purpose will it achieve? My child only took up his instrument at 8 and at 11 was accepted into both establishments. If your child is that gifted then you should wait.

Moominmammacat · 21/05/2012 19:59

My boys were cathedral choristers before going to JDs ... choristering takes up tons more time than JDs ... but it is what they wanted. The day one started to grumble (at 16) was the year he left.

HandMadeTail · 21/05/2012 20:06

I have a friend whose DD is nationally ranked for gymnastics. She does about 20 hours a week. She's in Y8, so has homework to do, as well. If she didn't love it, she wouldn't do it.

KatyMac · 21/05/2012 20:11

DD dances on a Saturday; she gets upset when she can't perform because of class, but not generally about parties/going out and stuff

eg there is a festival this summer she 'has' to go to & she will miss some of her class if the 'let' us but if not she will do Thursday til Sat lunchtime & sat eve to Sun eve & I will drive around like a blue arsed fly; but another show is also planned the same month.....she won't be able to do that

Parties are often on Sundays in her 'group' as they know she can't go on a Saturday

But then she is older........

Sympathique · 22/05/2012 20:42

Congrats, first of all, major achievement, you must be very proud. BUT. At DD's JD they were not allowed to miss a Saturday - was made quite clear at the outset; "don't come if you're dying but other wise do". In fact children sometimes did skip. But not for a party. You're committing to something serious. Music is a team event. That said, if JD doesn't suit, you can give it up, it's not a life sentence, you wouldn't be the first. It's not for everyone. But hope it works for you.

muppet1969 · 09/06/2012 22:37

If they love it then they will do it whether they miss stuff or not. My dd has been a nationally ranked gymnast for 8 years and trains 25+ hours a week. Since she started secondary school she has done homework at lunchtimes and all evening on her only day off. She has never really had a social life. She's doing GCSEs at the moment and is scheduled to do very well. Taking part in an activity at elite level gives you a huge amount of life skills - independence, organisation, commitment etc etc. She's quitting in a couple of weeks after the British championships and whilst I won't miss the travelling (she trains 35 miles from home and has to be picked up every day) I'll miss the fact it's what has made her her. My point is, she WANTED to do it, so in the grand scheme of things she accepted that parties etc weren't so important. At the end of the day, it's their choice. And she made that choice at the age of 6.

Toaster24 · 11/06/2012 16:17

I wouldn't worry, the kids on the rubgy team will be missing similar events for similar reasons.

morethanpotatoprints · 11/06/2012 23:06

I agree with Colleger, dd is 8 and wants to audition at 11. However, Has danced since 3, been in shows, pantos, rehearsals and concerts and did miss many parties and other social opportunities, but the buzz of performing was greater. Your son will find this and the culture will become part of your life, that won't question what you all may be missing. What instrument does your dc play?

Just out of interest what made your dc want to join a jd? Where did they hear about it. Only asking as I have a determined dd who reckons music is her life, she learned about it from hearing her dads students and parents talking about it initially.

pianomama · 15/06/2012 00:01

Congratulations !!

My Ds did : 2 instruments , 2 choir practices , orchestra and choir service at the age of 8. (busy both Sat and Sun and not forgetting instrument practice before school). On many occations I wanted to cut down on something and the answer was no.

He is starting in JD this September and it feels like a holiday to him - he will have every Sunday off!

Your child must be exceptionally talanted - JD's are not keen at all on taking them even at 8 , leave alone 7. So go for it. Ask close friends and those who matter to try to have parties on Sundays.There will be half terms and holidays .

cory · 15/06/2012 09:09

Round here most little girls do one or two or three ballet classes on a Saturday (ballet school just round the corner); parties fit around that. And an interest like that tends to provide you with a good social life anyway.

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