I believe my DD7 is gifted, though I'm unsure how best to support her and what steps are best to take in order to ensure she is fulfilled. It's getting to the stage where we're both frustrated, as circumstantially I'm not in a good position to provide a better school/extra tuition and the like.
Please excuse me if I go on a bit, this seems to be the only place I can discuss DD freely and there's a lot I'd love advice on if anyone has experienced similar circumstances.
I've always considered DD to be intelligent - she was a very early walker/talker, and has always had a questioning mind. Her dad and I found the most recommended nursery in the area to send her to from 2 1/2 (we paid for weekly sessions to ensure she was already attending when her nursery place vouchers kicked in) where she had a great start and was able to read, write, speak a little French and had developed a taste for maths when she started school at 4.
At her first school her teachers were wonderful. especially in Y1 (when she and a couple of more able students merged with the Y2 class). Unfortunately, DDs dad and I separated about halfway through Y1 and (to cut a loooong story short) DD, her older brother and I had to move way across town. Commuting proved way too tiring and expensive, so inevitably the kids had to change school.
TBH I didn't have a choice of school as our council operates on a "catchment area" policy and only undersubscribed schools offer places to children outside their area (of course none of the better state schools are undersubscribed!). Because of where we live, attending anything other than a private school is not possible, and there are no primaries offering bursaries nearby. I simply can't afford a private school, as despite being self-employed we're virtually living hand to mouth as it is.
The local school has a wonderful sense of belonging, the teachers (for the most part) are very encouraging. But there is an awful sense of a lack of resources. I decided to become a governer, and have learned a lot about the school through the few meetings I've attended so far, but feel powerless (as do the school staff) to help improve the school toward what's considered average financial resources for at least a few years. To give you an idea, 70% of the children are entitled to free school meals; PE is one brief session per week; there are no regular music or drama lessons, and recently parents were asked for any spare outdoor toys they could donate as the playground has only concrete, hopscotch markings and a couple of benches.
When she first started (for the latter end of Y1) DD was miserable. She felt she had to dumb herself down to fit in. Previously she'd had beautiful cursive handwriting, but after only a week had gone back to uneven printing. No-one else in the class was yet doing cursive and later she explained that her teacher had asked her not to write cursively (the same teacher seemed disturbed when I suggested DD was feeling frustrated, and told me that while DD was intelligent, she was in no way special).
Now in Y2, her teacher is incredibly supportive and encouraging, but with a large class of vastly varied abilities to teach I completely understand that DD still feels frustrated (she goes to Y3 for maths and other sessions with a couple of others from her Y2 class). Of her own accord, DD asked if I could give her extra homework which I'm more than happy to do, and liase with her teacher so we can build on what she's already learning at school.
She still seems to "dumb down" to fit in better with her peers (though luckily has an older friend whom she can be herself with occasionally), though her confidence is improving now.
So far as I'm aware, there is no G&T scheme at DDs school. I have no idea whether I should somehow make it "official" that DD is bright in the same way less able children are recognised as needing extra support (I have experience with this too as DS15 is on the opposite end of the educational spectrum). If she could achieve official recognition, would this be beneficial for her schools resources (and also for other more able children in the school)?.
I'm also feeling a little strained trying to keep up with DD. My new partner and I now have a 7month DS and I've gone back to working again, but it seems DD craves stimulation and it's been difficult to persuade her to work alone for very long.
Mostly the "homework" we do will be some creative writing/spelling practise, a bit of maths, perhaps a project she can research (she loves making presentations). Recently I've introduced her to Khan Academy (which she loves because of the learning logs and achievements). We print worksheets, read together every evening with baby, got involved with the Children's University (so she can get recognition for our museum/gallery/library trips) and the like. I really wish I had more time and finances, though DD understands that's not possible at the moment.
Can anyone recommend more free/cheap resources we could use? Is Mathletics worth the subscription fee?
Lastly, I have looked into the possibility of getting a bursary for her to attend a private school. From what I can tell, there are only 2 private schools in the locality (I simply can't afford to travel out of town). Both of these require students to pass an entrance exam at 11+, and those seeking bursaries must score excellently to be considered. There are no grammar schools in the county. I haven't approached wither yet as this is almost 4 years away.
Can anyone advise how I could prepare DD for such an assessment or anything else I could do to help towards this possibility?
My fallback option is that for secondary admissions, our council allows students to attend a school outside their catchment area if sufficient reason is given, so we may have better choices then. Moving house is a remote possibility if somehow we can earn (a lot) more than we are now as rental costs have gone through the roof (we're in a council house, can't afford private renting, and the waiting list is incredibly long).
A couple of weeks ago, DD sat three practise SATS tests (I believe 2 in maths, 1 in English) and scored 100%, 100% and 98% (proud mum moment, sorry if that's bragging) which is the only "measure" I have of whether she is "gifted". A bit of personal experience too (I was a straight A student, though self-coached) as I recognise in DD a lot of the traits I experienced in childhood (though she's far more sociable and outgoing than I was!).
I'd truly appreciate any advice for how we could better support DD given the current circumstances. And thanks to anyone who's had the patience to read this far!