Hi looking for some direction please

[bunnywhack]

I have a bright child it is really hard to type that without sounding smug but believe me im not. I'm not so much worried about his education as school are really quite good about stretching him etc. The issue is all his other problems that seem to go hand in hand with this. He is massively anxious about anything from cars on the road to riding a bike over bumps to heights to going upstairs on his own the list is endless really. He is over sensitive emotionally you can't tell him off as he just goes in on himself he did use to hurt himself through headbutting radiators scratching etc but we have curbed that now thank goodness. He is also physically over sensitive to loud noises cant have his hair brushed as it hurts to much and even a gentle brushing when theres no knots can have him actually shrieking. Half way through writing this the school nurse called back and advised me to make an appointment with gp to try and get a primary mental health referal so have done that. He is 8 years old by the way and not registered G and T anyone here had to cope with something like this any advice would be appriciated so much

Google "overexictabilities". They're common with G&T kids, basically their whole nervous system seems to be wired differently. Also look up the fact sheets on the NAGC (UK) website - lots of info there. Good luck OP - you sound quite worried about him. An assessment would probably give you more information?

You have my sympathies, my ds has similar traits. Very very stressful. Try googling ' Mindfulness' specifically for children for some idea about how to help him. At work so need to be brief but will try and come back later.

The difficulty is that at the moment he hasn't been assessed in any way, so there are a lot of potential outcomes.

For example, ds1 is gifted, but also has a diagnosis of ADHD with some aspergers traits (the sensory stuff you mention) and anxieties and phobias. In the past it has been suggested he may be aspergers / on the autistic spectrum, odd, or any number of things.

But there is also the possibility that he is 'just' gifted. It's really equally common for gifted kids to have over sensibilities / excitabilities, but it's also common for children with sensory processing disorder or aspergers to be gifted as well.

Until he has a thorough and extensive testing battery, you won't really know which camp he fits into (and tbh it doesn't really matter in terms of support - you deal with what you see, not what the dx is).

You might want to read about 'teice exceptional' children, you may also want to read 'misdiagnosis and dual diagnosis of gifted kids' and you may want to read up the over excitabilities stuff in isolation.

Even though we have a diagnosis, I am still not convinced that we actually 'know' why ds exhibits the same behaviours that your Ds does, and I suspect that a number of children reacting and behaving in the same way with different assessments and different psychs would actually come out with an array of different diagnoses.

I'm pretty sure that's not what you want to hear, but particularly with sensory stuff and anxieties, there is a huuuuuuuge overlap with all sorts of potential causes, most of which are equally possible if you happen to be gifted as well.

All three of mine are gifted, and two of them also have additional needs.

The camhs referral will go through everything and hopefully if they feel it necessary, get some testing done so that you have a clearer idea of what the underlying issue may be.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply to me. I now have lots to google :) It means so much just to know it's not unusual behaviour as such and other people are dealing with the same things. I agree that the diagnosis if they can do one wont mean an awful lot as he will need help regardless I will let you know what happens on tuesday im going to go and wear out google now :)

my first should have said 'twice exceptional'. crap spelling, sorry.

My DS is 5,he is scared to ride bike on his own.He is scared of falling down.He is not tested and he is comfortable in school and also his teacher.But he wouldn't do anything rough or should I say unless he is sure he will get hurt.He cries a lot for a small bruise.If I rise my voice he burst into tears.I am really trying all my limits to make him a brave boy(that's my way of seeing boy) or be a man.

My DD is 5 and was assessed a year ago by psychologist. She is benefiting greatly from art therapy for anxiety and some obsessive compulsive issues over smells, clothing texture, food textures etc. She is also over sensitive to noises as you describe and very emotionally (over) sensitive. At the moment she is 'just sad' and we have a lot of unexplained tears, fear of being left, sleeping alone etc. We have a great psychologist who is very open in allowing me to discuss concerns and then seeing how she can address this in therapy time. We also do some play therapy activities at home which have also helped, including using the 'language' of play therapy to help DD express herself. Psychologist has explained it to me that because DDs anxieties have an emotional basis, not a rational one, then therapy needs to work on her emotions and talk therapy wouldn't really do this at this age. It's been interesting to see some of the art work done e.g. large paintings telling fairy stories where characters get 'stuck' for some reason and DD works on how to help them. Working with finger paints and clay has also helped some of her textural sensitivities and also her fear of failure, by helping her try new things. She was assessed as being "more motivated to avoid failure than achieve success" and I see a huge improvement in her confidence in this area. I would definitely consider if this is something you think would benefit your child.

quick update appointment didnt happen due to many issues and have had a couple of horrendous weeks with DP working constantly and as im not wanting to take all the dcs with me having to wait for next weeks rota to book another appointment. quick question though would you take your dc in with you to docs room or would you get them to hang on in waiting room with dp and siblings whilst you explain it and then bring him in. I dont want to give him more to worry about IYSWIM

I'd Leave dc at home - just see doc on your own. Don't even tell him you're going.

We have had very similar experiences with DD1- we've now found that home educating has helped greatly (though of course I realise that this wouldn't be ideal for most people.)
It's a total long-shot, but your DS isn't on any medication is he? We found that Montelukast Singulair which DD was prescribed for asthma had a pretty extreme effect on her anxieties and many of these disappeared very quickly when we took her off it.
I found the information on the NAGC website to be very helpful- I hope you can get some appropriate support soon.

Adoptmama- your art therapy sounds wonderful.

I'd definitely leave DC at home and have the discussion with dr. yourself.