How can one tell if a child G&T?

[worrynot]

Hello,

I am new to mumsnet, but have been reading a few threads on G&T and on primary education in general as I am currently trying to choose a school for my ds. I am worried that he will not be challenged enough at a state school and I am too late to apply to good private schools. The thing is I always assumed that he will go to a local school, but now I started to worry as he is far ahead of anyone I know of his age.
My fundamental question is how do you know at his age (2 yr and 9 months) if he is gifted or simply bright or simply good at remembering as many little ones are.

He can read all 4- and 5-letter words, blending sounds; he can also read many (longer) sight words. I have not counted, but guess he can read around 1000 words, if not more as he can blend sounds. He also knows the Russian alphabet (I showed him only once or twice) and loves counting in French, German and Russian (up to 10). He is bilingual (English and Russian).
His favourite is maths though. He can count to 100 and beyond. He knows odd and even numbers, can count in 2s, 10s, 100s. He makes some mistakes when he counts in 5s. He can add anything up to 10 as well as 10+...; 20+...;
he does all the questions in maths books about odd one out, shortest, longest, ets. He is currently fascinated about large numbers like millions and billions. A few days ago he wrote 1,2,3,4 and 5 on a white board.
He loves science too, especially when we do experiments, but he does not ask lots of "why" questions. Instead, he loves to do the "explaining", he just makes up stories.
On the other hand, he is not very physical. He does not like playing with a ball, he does not ride a scooter, no matter how much I try to teach him. He is rather cautious, I would say, he would ride a car, for example, as it is more stable. He does not like to run or walk very far, he likes jumping on a trampoline though. His eye/hand co-ordination is quite good though (as I mentioned he writes a few numbers). His social skills are good with adults and older children, but very bad with children his age - he basically runs away from them much to my and my DH's frustration.

I teach him. It started when he was a baby. He was a really picky eater and it would take me hours to feed him, so I started counting with him and showing him letters then words. He picked up, it was always like a game for him and still is. I do not know if he is gifted or bright, or if other mums spend so much time teaching they would achieve the same results.

So, I am asking all you more experienced people, what do you think? Were your children who are gifted anything like that when they were little? How do you know if they are bright or just good at retaining info as sponges as they all are?

I think that at this age there is no point in worrying about it, tbh. I also fail to see the point of teaching a 2 yo to read. He obviously is a bright child as not every toddler would retain all the info and/or would be able to focus for longer periods of time.

OTOH you say he can add anything up to 10-that fairly usual, my DD can do that and I have not spent any time with her on numbers. The rest seems more like memorizing-counting 10, 20, 30 etc is not much different from 1,2,3...iyswim.

If he could add 37 and 41, for example, then that, indeed, could point towards unusual ability.

Being bilingual- normal, if he has 2 parents speaking 2 languages. DD is trilingual as has 2 parents with different nationalities and lives in a country with a third language.

It's hard to tell how much of it is thanks to you spending all your time together teaching him stuff. Tbh I would relax and wait. If it will become apparent that he's a little genius in a few years time, you'll still have plenty of time to adjust his education etc.

If he's just a bright child, state school will be fine. G&T means top 5 or 10% so nothing special, really.

Sorry, it came out as if I was bragging about DD-just wanted to point out that some of those things are fairly normal, she's definitely not a genius as far as I can tell.

He sounds absolutely charming, but you really can not assume that a state school won't be challenging enough for him.

You will find plenty of threads on here discussing how much everyone it seems worries about their DCs education. It is normal.

Enjoy him! Relax! Give him lots of stimulating experiences, and lots of love, and he will thrive.

I would have thought a gifted child would be constantly asking questions. My Ds is probably top 5% and different enough to stand out. I have been told its the type of questions he asks are what makes him different.

Thank you, everybody, I feel more relaxed now. On some days I feel he is a very ordinary sort of guy and on some days I feel he is a genius. After reading this thread I felt he was very ordinary and I did not know why I was so worried about schools and him being bored and coasting. And then at dinner time, my DH mentioned in passing a satellite dish. My DS picked up this topic and told us that "satellite picks up signal and then sends it to Earth, where it crashes and the light goes green everywhere and when there is no signal the lights go red and internet does not work". He continued in this vain for 5 min and we felt stunned, because I do not know where he gets his stuff from and he certainly has a vivid imagination. Oh yes, he also said something about Venus being involved somehow in the satellite thing. He likes "explaining" things to us, how things work.
bruffin, do you mean your DS is in top 5% at school? How old is he? I heard the "why" questions start around 3.5 - 4y.o. The kids I know of DS age can barely speak, well they can but not in long coherent sentences and some of our bilingual friends still struggle to speak at all in any language at his age. DS started to speak at 12 months without any delays typical for bilingual children and everybody comments how well he speaks, if that is anything to go by.
It would be great to hear stories from parents of bright children what they were like when they were 2.5 - 3 y.o. I am not bragging, I am actually more terrified than anything else at this stage. I am terrified at the prospect of looking for appropriate schools, at him being bored or bullied because he is different and so sensitive. I have not met anybody like my DS, I know bright kids are out there, I guess I just would love to hear from others what did they feel when they first thought, ah! he/she is not ordinary little one and maybe needs paying special attention to. And what prompted them to think that?
Sorry, a bit of a rant here!

Hi worrynot (what a hopeful name - nomen est omen, I can follow your thinking there!)

I have two DDs who are also bilingual and very very different. Your DS sounds very much like my DD1, who also was capable of pretty amazing feats at a young age (her speciality is languages). She turned out to be very very bright and in hindsight I can see that the signs were there from very early on. DD2, on the other hand, is not showing any signs of being brighter than average - which is a bit of a relief TBH! She has the typical communication delay of bilingual children, and is developing normally in every way.

If you look up NAGC (the UK one) you will find lots of information, an advice line and a forum with many parents in the same boat. (BTW, just so you know to expect this - it's completely normal on MN to get lots of the following responses: you're hothousing your DS/he might be bright now but others will catch up/he's only a precious first born = you're exaggerating/he has Asperger's or high functioning autism/just let him be a child)

With regards to education - don't panic! You're right to be planning ahead and researching the options, but please don't think private is automatically better than state. It's not. Where it really matters is secondary stage, not necessarily primary so much.

It could be that your DS needs support in other areas, perhaps social skills (it's very common for very bright children to struggle socially), perhaps his motor skills need further investigation. A good state school will be able to support both of those better than a poor independent one. You could always spend money on lots of additional learning at home, day trips, clubs, extra learning materials - and a bit of tutoring to get into an independent at secondary stage!

You're right - a very bright child is at times a terrifying prospect, I completely sympathise with how you feel :)

eyeofnewttoeoffrog, thank you for your kind response, support and advise. He is my second one and the first one was "normal", so I never experienced any anxiety with her. Also, thank you for the advise on schools. So much to consider!

I am not a teacher but I reckon that these are the kind of things that your average 5 or 6 year old is doing. I have one "normal" and one G&T and the G&T one is far more exhausting and far more of a worry. This also may have a lot to do with personality as well as the G&T part.

Sounds like he is doing some really advanced and intelligent things and enjoying them. There is still lots of time to enjoy with him before school . I think maybe introduce a few more preschool clubs/groups to help him mix with others his own age (you obviously know this is important though). Closer to the time for school look round lots of schools both private and state to see if one feels right for him. I am sure any private school will make room for a very clever child who show how capable he/she is so do not worry about registering late.

I completely agree with Niceweather - my G&T child is much more of a worry than the NT one :) :(

Having done quite a bit of research, the personality seems to be a part of giftedness. Intensity, high excitability, physical and emotional oversensitivity, etc etc are all normal & common characteristics in a gifted child. They're simply wired differently from the rest of us.

oh, and what iggly said! :)

exhausting, I can't find a better word, but also hugely satisfying. It is a strange mixture of emotion, hard to describe, that this child gives me. Sometimes one look into his eyes tells me he understands the world (although he does not), it is like looking into an adult's eye. The other day, he did something naughty and I said to him (not expecting much back from him as he is so small) as I was leaving the room "Promise to me, you won't do it again". And he said: "Sorry, mama, I promise I will not do (.that...) again because it is hard for you and because I love you". I turned around and there was this look on his face, very adult-like or at least an older child who sort of seen these situations millions of times and knows what to say. He is hardly ever naughty so I never tell him off and this was the first time I used the "promise me" phrase as I think children of his age don't even understand the concept. And then I get this response. Maybe it is me, I constantly underestimate him, maybe children are like this nowadays and it is me who is hopelessly behind times. Very different from my DD1 though, which was just a walk in a park. She is much older though, there is a big gap b/w them.

iggy2 - I really really hope you are right about private schools making room for a very clever child (that is if he turns out to be very clever). That is what a lot of my friends tell me (Just show him to the Headmaster!). That has recently been my consolation for failing to register him for any decent school. I have now arranged a few appointments, but at the best schools you can't even get that. I understand you just need to keep calling them until a place becomes available. As to pre-school clubs, he loves going there, only to find something interesting for himself to explore but as soon as any social situation presents itself (or engineered by me), he is out of his comfort zone and does not like it. He starts asking to go home and does not stop until we leave. I agree I need to work on it, but it is hard.