Do Bright children need to be pushed?

[crazydennie]

My Daughter is 5 and in the Reception year and she was one of only two new children to the class this school year and the other children all knew each other really well and the teacher is really pleased with how she has settled in.

IMO she is bright but not gifted. The school have noticed this and want to challenge her more following an observation by the keystage one leader, who says she is coasting. In January I was advised that she was hitting 7,8 and 9's on the profile scale.

However the most important thing for me is that ATM my daughter loves school (to the extent that she has asked to go on a saturday) and given that Year R is about learning through play, I feel that anything else can really wait until next year, when she is actually in KS1!

Am I being and overprotective and not thinking about what is best for my daughter?

It depends on the child. Some children will buckle if they are pushed too much, others won't. You know her far better then the school do. Reception should be about learning to work with others and listening to the teacher, she has lots of time to learn academics.

Thank you :)

It has taken a few months to appreciate that reception is really just an extension of nursery and the school have just confused me by wanting to start challenging her now. I don't think she'll buckle, as she seems to thrive on information but as you say she has a lot of time to learn still and I think she will do that better from a solid year of enjoying and getting to know the school. I have asked the school not to push her but if I'm honest l don't think they are listening.

IME, they won't push her but will offer her more of a work structure. She still should have plenty of time to choose her own activities. My son has actually settled down a bit behaviour wise by having a bit more stucture to his learning so it hasn't changed anything for the worse imo.

As always I think it depends on the child.

It depends on the child and also depends on HOW you are going to push your DD.Good parents are pushy parent but don't look like pushy parents.

I think my daughter is a normal 5 year old and will throw a strop when asked to do something that she doesn't want to do. A prime example of this was she was picked to play Mary in the nativity play and the teacher wanted her to hold baby Jesus. She is not a child who likes playing with dolls and the end result was several days of crying and saying she wanted to go to school but didn't want to do the play! She can be a bit high strung and did do it in the end but practically threw Jesus back in the manger after holding him for all of a minute!

Her teacher admitted that she was surprised at her reaction to the doll (I wasn't) and while I know the school has an obligation to challenge all children I wish they were so proactive when I express my concerns regarding dyslexia!

I am a pushy mother but I'm trying to not be as much :(

crazydennie You don't sound like a pushy mother to me; you sound like a perfectly sensible, rational person who quite rightly, as you said in your first post, wants this year to be about learning through play and settling in. Go at her pace and support what school are doing.

Go with your gut. School wanted to accelerate dd at end of reception, we said no. It might have been the right thing for some kids, but two years on, I'm really glad that we didn't - she is making great progress, loves school and is happy with her peers. You know your dd better than anyone. :)

Well I am really in the samepage as crazydennie.I feel I have to push my son.He is 5 & in YR.I would say is talented.He knows lot of scientific and maths and general knowledge.Happy to go to school even on Saturdays and Sundays,even when he is sick.But when it comes to normal child activities like riding bike or doing scooter,he wouldn't.I am literally pushing him,even more to say we had big fight in the street on this Saturday.
It is that I want him to do normal things.I can't just let go.May be I am pushy.

It depends on the school and how they will handle it. My YR DD is similarly bright (but not miles out of the ordinary) and achieving well and her school are pushing her but it's not pushing as in formal work, it's just asking her some harder questions related to an activity, or suggesting she writes a few sentences below her picture rather than just a word or two and uses punctuation, or makes a pattern with five or six colours instead of two or three. She still perceives it as play because she enjoys it and because this is how the school present it to her. This is hopefully stretching her, rather than pushing, IYSWIM.

Thanks for all the replies

I think the school are stretching my DD, from the activities she describes regarding maths. I had a conversation with her about what she enjoys most about school, her answer was "learning things" I expected the answer to be playing with her friends, which was a reality check for me.

As long as she continues to be happy I'm just gonna go with them. So I sent in a note lifting my embargo on increasing her book band, DD has come home pleased as punch to have gone up a level and teacher was all smiles following a few weeks of frowns for me!