Should I go with the flow or talk to the head teacher?

[feelgoodfriday]

Hello there. I've been lurking on this topic a while but never posted. I don't really like labels like gifted because I think children all have different talents in different areas and are all gifted in their own areas of interest.

Having said that, I can definitely see the difference between my 3 yr old and 5 yr old. My 5 yr old DS1 ( who is one of the youngest in year 1) was always above average in most areas and took most of pre-school to learn phonics sounds/letters and most of reception to learn how to blend.

My 3 yr old DD2 is also one of the youngest in the school year. She has picked up all the phonics ( including digraphs) when I was reading with my DS1 and learnt to blend in 24 hrs with DS1 teaching her. She is constantly asking me to "do some reading" on the computer where I make up stories on the computer for her to read which are appropriate for her level. ( probably at least 18 mths older than her age judging by my son's ability)

I've spoken to a few friends about it a I am anxious she will be really bored when she goes to reception and goes back to going through the phonic alphabet again. At the moment she is in a pre-school with very small class sizes so gets more individualised attention. Also, the school she will be going to divide the reception classes up by age, with a cut off around a February birthday so I'm wondering if I should have a word with the school to ask:

a) If she should join the slightly older half of reception?
b) If there will be an opportunity to teach her to the level she is currently at?

Sorry for the long post....I just wanted to give the whole picture and to say I definitely don't want to push her.....but it's her that's constantly begging me to do stuff with her.

In truth I'd go with the flow and see what happens when she's in school. Its pretty likely that the school would want to do their own assessment of what she can do rather than take your word for it.
You know she's a bright little thing so just keep on with what you're doing, encourage and allow her to progress at the rate she wants to go. If she's enjoying the reading now why stop her? Just follow her lead. Its all about learning and enjoying learning after all.

You could mention it, but you really need to think whether you want her to be with children who are all six months older than her. There is the matter of social/emotional development, they will all have their birthday parties at the same time, she will have to wait 'for ever'. They will be conscious after a while that she is much younger. Just because they are older they aren't necessarily more academically advanced. I know sometimes they are but equally I know some very clever 'young' children in dd1 class. It might be worth asking if the school has looked into a whole school approach to phonics. Our dd are grouped by ability, not age for phonics, so there is some movement between year groups. It seems to benefit all the children. It might be different if she was say a March child, but if they are all that much older, things like pe etc they will probably be bigger and stronger etc. It doesn't sound as if the divide by age system will work brilliantly at the moment for your dd, but not sure that the alternative of being in older class would be the answer either.

duracell very good point - it will be ages before it's her birthday!

Emotionally and physically I don't think she'll have a problem as she keeps up very well with her older brother.

Honestly - I'm not the type of mum who wants to push her into anything but equally I have a level of anxiety about her being demotivated and bored when she starts reception.

Unfortunately there is no division according to ability...just age. I wish there was as it makes more sense to have kids in mixed classes but divide them into smaller groups across year groups for some of the teaching according to their reading/maths abilities. I guess it's not very politically correct though is it?

Hate to state the obvious but you are comparing a boy with a girl... I have twins and they are both very bright but DD was about 2 years ahead of DS on just about everything but particularly literacy / reading in the early primary school years. Now approaching the end of primary school level and DS is really catching up. Hate to be blunt but your DD just looks like a bright girl at her age and it is really too soon to tell if she is gifted. You just need to make sure she is in the right school - don't know if you are going to go private but if you are you need a selective private school - she will be absolutely normal there!
My DD was 3 years ahead of her chronological age at reading at end of reception year - but bright girls just decode - the books she was reading fluently she had no idea of what the "meaning" of the words was. A good school will actually slow her down as there is no point reading something you don't understand. LOTS of bright children( I would say girls in particular) DECODE not READ words - think of it like maths - in that they work out really quickly how the sounds for words come together but don't have the maturity or the life experience to know what these sentences actually infer.
Education is a long game and don't get pushy in the first couple of years when the most important thing is that they enjoy school - there is plenty of opportunity later on for her to shine. Keep her with the right age group and that way she will flourish socially which is so important at any school.

Thanks for the feedback. Yes - I do agree girls are much more into reading and role play and boys are more into how things work and science.

I don't think for one minute she is gifted - just bright ( although I'm not sure at this stage how bright or whether it really matters TBH) She will be going to a reasonably good state school ( lower middle classed catchment area) where a lot of the parents are very motivated to help their kids along the way. However, it's the class sizes that really separate private/state and by year 1 there will be about 30 in the class which must be really difficult for the teachers.

glenmore interesting you suggested decoding as opposed to reading. I definitely don't think she is doing this as she talks about what she has read afterwards and actually wants to make up more of the story herself.

On balance, I don't think I will ask for her to be in the older class but will talk talk to the head teacher and be guided by what she says. As long as there is enough time for her to be stimulated in her reading, I'll be happy.

Thanks for the replies x

A good reception teacher should differentiate for her IME.

I would wait and see. do whatever you do at home and wait for school to spot her abilities. a good reception teacher will differentiate, but not all children showw what they can do. there is a lot to learn in receptionin addition to basic phonics and maths. if there seems to be a problem, then talk to the teacher about it at the time.

both ds1 and dd2 were reading when they went to school (ds1 simple chapter books and dd2 c s lewis type stuff - dd1 knew all her letter sounds but we had been told not to let her read. i just ignored this with dc2 and 3 tbh. dd2 taught herself to read just by listening to her older brother and sister).

yr r classes are perfectly used to having at least some children turn up as fluent readers, and manage accordingly. they just access the book shelves of the other year groups, usually. i just mention that they can read in passing at the bog standard 'get to know you' meeting before yr r starts. in every case they nod and smile and do that 'yes, dear' thing. because they must hear it all. the. time.

every child will be assessed on entry anyway (sometimes it can take a month or two to get to know exactly where every child is at) but if you aren't convinced by the first parent's evening that they have grasped dd's ability, then discuss it then.

if you set her up to believe that yr r is about academics and learning, you will indeed have a bored and demotivated child. tell her it's just a different sort of pre-school and lots more playing. i don't think any of my children have learnt anything in yr r, tbh. the focus definitely isn't academics.

thank you - that is a very good point - I agree it's about much more than just reading and writing. She loves role play and singing so I'm sure she will be happy with a big class of children to do that with.

Thanks for all the replies - it's reassured me that plenty of children are in a similar position and are perfectly happy in reception. thanks x