How do you know what to do for best for your children

[KatyMac]

DD is 14 (Yr9) & she dances, a lot & I understand dances quite well

Currently she has a punishing schedule of school/homework/classes

Neither she nor I are really interested in her 'going away to school' but more & more this looks like an easier option. She is working so hard atm, physically and mentally

September is a natural time to move, but if she goes she would have to audition almost immediately & she might not get in & even if she did she might not get funding

Am I being unfair in 'not' letting her try out for something she might not get/might not get funding for/might not even go

Or should we give it a go

Oh I wish they came with a manual

Your Dd sounds very mature (from your previous posts) but prone to pushing herself. How will she handle any rejection? You know best as her mum. Has she been away for sometime on courses?

Nope

Just school trips & guides

She handles rejection as Comps but this is so much bigger

I'm all twisted up about it

She is doing too,too much

When is the deadline for funding? Could you afford to do it if there is no funding? Can she do a dance/routine she has already used and perfected before for an audition?

Auditions are next month, I have no idea what format they are (but I guess I can find out) as I never considered them as an option

We can't afford for her to go if there isn't full funding

You say she isn't that interested in going away. If she can persuade you she really wants to try out why not let her go for it? If she is considering it for a career this may go brilliantly and secure funding or it might be a timely reality check?

It would be me pushing her; mainly because she would do less there than she does here so it would be less work iyswim

Less work vs. not 'home' bed at the end of the day.

Why not post on education board something along the lines of 'anyone's DC gone away to school at 14 to focus on area of special interest?' (I wonder if it may be different to 11 or 16 but have no experience.)

Yes maybe - education

Sat was 8:30 til 8:15
Sunday was 5 hours of homework
Yesterday was 8:10 til 9:20

It is too much

I'm worried that she could burn out or injure herself with over-doing it.
Otherwise it sounds like she's coping very well. I'd be pleased to have a teenager with such dedication and drive.

If she auditioned now but failed, could she view it as valuable experience? She's going to experience a great many failed auditions if she pursues this career, they need to become water off a duck's back, really.

My gut feeling is to let her audition, and then see how the funding/other aspects of it weigh up. Include her in the decision making process as much as possible so if you have to make a decision she doesn't like she's more likely to respect the reasons.

From a different angle - how would she feel later down the track if she didn't do it. Would she wish she had been allowed / encouraged to have given it a shot. Maybe better to risk failing than not to know? If it didn't suit her then she could come home, but at least she would have tried it out. I know someone who loved going away to boarding school because it was full of musical people who were 'just like him'.

Good luck - it must be a really hard decision to make for both of you.

Me too - half our problem is our location

Sat was:
45 min travel, 9:30-11:00 class, travel to station, 11:30 train til 12:20 walk to classes starting at 12:45 (1.5 ballet, 1.5 Contemporary, 1 creative) finishing at 6 walk to station to catch 6:35 train to town collected from town at 7:30 home before 8:30

Yesterday
8:10 leave for school, 3:00 finish, 3-4 after school revision (for GCSE today), my mum collected her at 4 gave her tea & left at 5 for a 5:30 - 6:15 class, homework until 7:15, then class 7:15-8:45 I collected her & home by 9:20

Maybe it's to make my life easier?

Sounds like a good reason to me. Do you have other kids too?

No but a fairly full on job. DH doesn't work (health issues) and does lots of running around with her

But just typing out her schedule makes me feel tired - she went off today for a Spanish Test and her first GCSE Geog paper

Today as easier

Home by 3:45 out again by 4, class 4:45-5:15, travel to the next class 5:45-7:15 home by 7:45

But it was a very late tea

It is very, very competitive in the dance world & tbh she really, really needs to want to audition. The staff are looking for potential & desire as well as all the musicality, personality, technique etc. Plus, there are usually less places at 14 than there would be at 11, it's to fill the few that have dropped out/aren't up to scratch etc.

For me, it is too close to GCSEs & i would look at dance schools at 16 if that is the career path she wishes to try.

That is what we had decided RedHelenB, especially as Ballet isn't her strongest dance

But the schedule is worrying me; maybe we should move closer to town

Could she change dance school?

She goes to too many I guess

She is at a CAT (Ballet, Cometmporary & Creative)
She does Ballet (because she wasn't good enough) and just started Tap & Modern
She does theatre
She does African Drumming & Dancing
She does Ballroom & Latin

So 5 schools plus Btec at school

Oh I wish they came with a manual

I would stop some dancing to be honest. If she wants to stay in the CAT programme & needs more work on ballet leave out the tap & modern. Also the ballroom. Or leave the CAT programme & do the variety. My girls dance but no way would they be doing both ballroom & ballet, They do tap, modern, gymnastic dance & ballet.

I think if anything goes it will be the CAT; we will chat this evening

DD "sensibly" suggested school should be reduced

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